Teacher quit and walked out

[Moonlitarsehole]

Nc'd to not out myself.

Ds informs me on the way home that his teacher walked out on his last class this afternoon.

Apparently she'd asked on numerous occasions for quiet, and threatened to not help with their coursework. Then said "fuck you lot, I quit", collected her bag and walked out.

I was like ds was vague and said he didn't want me to call the school, as they'd all had to make witness statements.

Anyway, dh is home today and asked ds if he'd been talking too (after I tell him what had happened) and really told ds off for being so disrespectful.

Ds is upstairs writing a letter of apology, not sure what the school's take is on it. Not even sure if she'll get it.

So aibu to think the teacher just lost their shit, which happens to us all?

I feel really torn by this thread. On the one hand, it's lovely to see barely any teacher bashing at all. On the other, it's very depressing to see so much teen bashing and so many colleagues struggling in their jobs.

I adore my job, but I have to say that working for a head teacher who I totally respect and admire makes a LOT of difference.

I guarantee that there will be parents who have rung or written in to complaint their child was verbally abused and sworn at by a member of staff and what is the school doing about it and that the teacher has no control. There will be parents demanding that the teacher make a personal apology to their child, and while their child admits there was a "big of talking" going on, the teacher should be able to manage that or not do that job, and that in any case their child did nothing wrong.

Please don't think the OP is a typical parent - I'd say in a class of 30 I would expect maybe 8 complaints and one comment of support (the rest ignoring it or choosing not to comment).

Teaching is incredibly stressful but mainly because of the expectation of getting certain grades from pupils despite knowing they can't or won't. The behaviour will have been the straw that broke the camel's back, not the root of it all. That would have just exacerbated it.

Haven't RTFT, but glad to see it's understanding. I was tech support in a failing inner city school. So I was about to help when one teacher walked out under the stress of waiting for a cancer diagnosis, or found another teacher curled up in a ball crying refusing to move, or being carried out to a waiting taxi and another who had a breakdown in their classroom after a bad break up, never saw that one again. Teachers keep going in when they really shouldn't sometimes because they care about their kids and the huge impact that can have to them especially during coursework time. It's a hard and often thankless job.

This is a job where they never have that " our staff have the right not to be abused " sign up where you come in.
Where you are told " discipline consistently " and when you do the parents not only complain that you have told off their little angel, but gloat that your grammar in doing so was incorrect.
Where when you put a student in detention, you effectively put yourself in detention too.
Where you can have no breaks in a day, not to eat, to go to the toilet, nothing.
Where the people you are helping will do every inventive thing they can think of to undermine you, each other, whatever's going on, and even physically hurt each other.. For fun if you allow it, and if they manage it..its your fault.
Where you are judged endlessly and relentlessly on data based on stuff that was randomly made up in the first place.
Where you will be paid less than other people with less skill, less qualifications and you will still be told is to much, because you have more holidays, which you can be Ill in at home rather than on the job Or you can use it try to do some of the wholely unachievable tasks required by management.
Where even if you're brilliant someone will hate you and they only have to lie once for you to lose your job, and you know that, every day.
Where you are obliged to behave like a pillar of the community all the time, even when you're not in work.
Where the time you have to spend after school with children who have misbehaved is time you are not spending with your own children, who have done nothing wrong.

Stick that on your adverts and just wait for the rush!
People complain that not all teachers are good...I'm surprised any of them turn up in the morning.

I echo most of the posters here.

I do feel for the poor teacher.
I feel for all teachers at the mo tbh. Hugs and high fives to them all.

And writing an apology letter is a fabulous thing for your DS to do. Well done.

I do think if there was a secret camera in classrooms that many parents would be utterly utterly utterly disgusted by their child's behaviour.

When I was at school there was this one particular teacher that most of the class to pleasure in trying to make her break down and cry. She used to literally sit there sobbing. I felt so sorry for her, in the end every time it happened she would walk out crying and another teacher came in. I would never want to be a teacher, I think I would literally lose my shit it

My husband is a teacher. I'd agree the system is collapsing and children are becoming increasingly unmanageable whilst the pressures healed upon teachers to control and perform are rapidly becoming untenable.

*heaped.

I didn't say teachers have it easy.

I do feel really sorry for the teacher I have often felt like her.
My point was maybe she is in the wrong job. Some people deal with stress better than others.

So the answer for people who have work based stress is to simply change jobs?

Best get busy telling everyone else that it's not the work situation, it's just them, Audrey

Just to say about what cresset said about class..I think you just get different kinds of problems ...
The boy I mentioned parents are comfortably off middle class ...he is at a state school (it is a 'good' one) because HE didn't want to go to the private school....and he always does (and gets) want HE wants. I know when he was in trouble at primary his mum was puzzled because he was such a good boy at home...but maybe that was because they have never made him do anything he didn't want to... I am sure there are many more DCs out there like that...
On the other hand years ago I worked in an inner city primary - one boy (10ish) refused to do something I'd asked and said 'What you going to do about it? Send me to [HT name]? and laughed...
I know his older brother was in a gang and he used to go out with them sometimes - his mum (no dad around) had no control over the elder one and hardly any over him. I did wonder what the future held for him (he had a stud earring in the shape of a gun ...)
But then talking to a teacher about it she said as bad as that was - the worse ones were the ones who got hit at home if they stepped out of line ...they would play up at school cos they knew it was 'safe'. It made you reluctant to call the parent in (you knew the DC would get beaten) and still the parent would give you a tirade of abuse for getting them in...
And more recently a friend who is a primary teacher was telling me how at her school they had had a problem with older boys not listening to the female teachers, they had to keep getting the head (male) to tell them what to do. One boy told her his father or uncle was the Imam and had told him he didn't have to listen to her...
With such a wide ranging reasons I guess you have to have a different approach for each problem but still be consistent and have good management back up. Not at all easy...
(Just thinking about that - all those egs are boys...thinking back and to my own school years girls were more likely to be less confrontational ...still misbehaved but in a less in your face way (we made our Latin teacher's life a misery - all girl class but in a mixed school...we used to eg pass obvious notes (he'd try to ignore) and once we even threw sweets around the classroom trying to get them onto bookshelves etc without him noticing - I'm embarrassed to remember...)

Wow I really feel for this teacher, in my last 6 months of secondary teaching I got threatened 4 times (once with a knife) but the final straw was a very unsupportive head (new fast tracked came from the City 6 months working in education at that point) with a behaviour issue. I did walk out that day but I did it a very controlled way of getting a TA to watch my classes while I phoned the person who sorted cover and set my cover for a few days. Walked out applied for a middle school job (best move I ever made) the school I had walked out begged me to come back(to finish the term), I was stupid enough to go back for a 3 weeks but it was when I walking down a corridor as children were throwing things of balconies, one had turned over a plant pot and there I was 2 fights going on. I did think f'this. Went to my allocated room (had bottom set all boys year 9's). Gave up trying to teach after 10min and remember just looking at my watch counting down the minutes thinking f'this I am not doing this anymore.

I feel so sorry for this poor teacher. I've seen similar scenes in schools that I've worked in, especially with one challenging class that gave supply teachers a very difficult time.

I walked out of a classroom once myself but that was because the class teacher started shouting at me (support staff) in front of a class of children. Much more upsetting than any child's behaviour I've had to deal with, and I've been kicked, spat at, etc. by children with SEN. That's just part of the job, really, but having a colleague treat me that way was shocking. Fortunately, I'd already handed in my notice at that particular school and only had a couple of weeks left.

I know it's an unpopular opinion but I'm in favour of a return to a zero tolerance approach to discipine in schools. Inclusion has gone far too far in the other direction now.

If they cant behave at school, send them home.

Keyser, badly-handled inclusion of children with additional needs is a part of the problem, but most of what's described here isn't about that.
Children who could behave but choose not to and are backed up by parents and tolerated by weak and confused management iare what most of us are stressed and infuriated about.

Moonlitarsehole

It's not just the talking, but has your son actually done any work in the lessons?

One of my classes has told me they have made 2 teachers cry and quit - they seem quite proud of it.

I've rtft, and it has been very interesting, and very sad at times. My ds' s are 4 and 8, and I'm going in for parent's day today. I hope that it goes well, but I think that I will take the time to thank the teachers personally if it goes well.

My youngest ds has SEN, and tbh I haven't always seen eye to eye with the school. It has been challenging to make the staff understand his needs and get support in place. Last year, ds was just 3 years old, and hard of hearing. He smacked a TA in the face when she took him by the hand. I wasn't there, so I didn't know what went on, and ds was non verbal and so couldn't tell me. He had never hit any one at home before. He was excluded from the school, I had to go to a meeting, and a letter was sent home saying that my ds had been excluded for being violent towards a staff member. It sounded like they were talking about a 15 year old thug.

The school is one of the worst performing primary schools in the UK.

I don't like the way some situations have been handled, but I think that was down to management rather than the teachers.

A lot of teachers have left the school since new management came in. Some of them had been there for over 20 years.

Sorry for the long post. I will still thank the teachers. It is the system that is the problem, and not them.

I know it's an unpopular opinion but I'm in favour of a return to a zero tolerance approach to discipine in schools. Inclusion has gone far too far in the other direction now.

If they cant behave at school, send them home.

It's not unpopular at all as an idea. It's in fact very popular among parents... as long as it's not their child.

Everyone else's child should have zero tolerance but not theirs.... their child should be shown compassion and given chances and help and besides, their child either didn't misbehave at all ("he just wouldn't do that, I know my child") or he had a good reason ("he felt the teacher disrespected him"; "it was his great grandad's death almost 6 years ago you see"; "he couldn't sleep last night so he woke up in a bad mood").

The answer isn't zero tolerance anyway, as far as I'm concerned. There should be a lot more, and a lot better, alternative provision. Many kids in our mainstream schools aren't coping, and misbehave because of this. The government have done 3 things which they believe "give the power" to teachers.

1. they have said teachers can physically remove a disruptive child from the class.
   Maybe that's possible when they are 7, but I am not sure how I would go about manhandling a 14 year old out his chair and out the door. It's utterly farcical. It would exacerbate the whole problem and put the teacher at huge risk.

2. no notice detentions. Teachers have "the right" to detain children without giving 24 hours' notice. Again, I think this is a ridiculous idea for many schools. Why worry and therefore alienate the parents of these kids, with whom you want an effective relationship? It's manners to give people notice. Why would you not role model manners?

Being allowed to confiscate things like mobile phones being misused. We already do that, that's not new.

No, what would be more effective is ploughing a lot more money into support services, removing endless target grades, and making the job of teaching more attractive so that retention is improved. Kids like stability. 8 teachers in 2 years is not going to lead to good learning and it definitely won't lead to good motivation. The government tinker round the edges and ignore the elephant in the room.

Audreyhelp
"Ok if you are pushed that's ok then?
If children are pushed is that ok just to walk out as they are human too."

Most schools have systems in place where the pupils can do just that, either through a card system that they wave at teachers as they leave or through emails where teachers are informed that if pupil X needs to leave the class then they can.

Unfortunately I have seen this abused by the pupils who push until a detention (or whatever) is put in place they then state that you can't do that as I have this card and walk out.

KeyserSophie
"I know it's an unpopular opinion but I'm in favour of a return to a zero tolerance approach to discipine in schools."

Can you imabinge the amount of DM sad face articles there would be?

"Inclusion has gone far too far in the other direction now"

Inclusion was never meant to be use as a cost saving device or and end to schools for pupils with specific problems (awaits flaming for incorrect language).

I don't think inclusion is the main reason why so many teachers are at breaking point with behaviour management.

So glad to read the many supportive posts on this thread. Well done, OP, for spelling out to your DS that his behaviour was unacceptable.

Low level disruption can be very wearing when it's constant.

I am very much in favour of a zero tolerance approach to constant poor or violent behaviour. It's a shame more HTs don't take that approach.

I agree with those who say that reasonable parents would be horrified if they were flies on the wall sometimes. Having to do crowd control gets in the way of teachers doing their jobs - teaching. And no teacher should live in fear of being assaulted.

But what qualifications do these DCs end up with - unbelievable that they cannot see the bigger picture nowadays.
The world is such a competitive place.
Don't they ever think they might want to own a house!

'But what qualifications do these DCs end up with - unbelievable that they cannot see the bigger picture nowadays.'

It's why so many teenagers find the real world such a brutal shock after the artificial environment of schools with their usually positive and supportive attitudes and their second, third and fourth chances.
Suddenly you lot out there are sacking them, not listening to their needs and calling the police if they threaten you. It's Just Not Fair.
No, many don't make the connection between actions now and consequences later. The primary children I taught who did were all intelligent from first generation immigrant backgrounds and saw education as giving them choices their parents didn't have. So most were very keen to be doctors, lawyers and accountants and knew that meant passing exams.