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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be flabbergasted by this?

300 replies

Cloudhopping · 03/02/2016 12:59

My dd is in year 5 of a village school, which we are really happy with. As it's small, I know most of the parents at the school. My dd is learning about Islam as part of RE and is today visiting a Mosque as part of this. Some of the parents have not consented to their children going as they don't want their children visiting a mosque. I'm not sure of the exact reasons and realise I am making some assumptions here, but am I being unreasonable to be shocked by this attitude?

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 03/02/2016 21:22

Jazz and I stand by my point you don't need to visit a Mosque to learn about Islam if you so wish. It is not essential. You don't see this, are you therefore stating it is essential?

AppleSetsSail · 03/02/2016 21:23

Well, I suppose not. You don't have to. But wouldn't you want this for your child?

I don't understand this pursed-lip 'it's not for us' approach to life.

Hippahippahey · 03/02/2016 21:24

I wouldn't want my children to visit a mosque tbh.

LagunaBubbles · 03/02/2016 21:28

Why wouldn't I want my child to visit a Mosque? Because I dont feel it is a necessary thing in life to go and visit for a start to ensure they grow up to be moral well rounded individuals, I don't respect a religion that treats women as second class citizens.
Equally I don't understand people that think everyone should think like them.

ItchyArmpits · 03/02/2016 21:35

I visited a local mosque as part of an organised trip around a year ago:-

we were NOT required to cover our hair
we were NOT required to enter through a different door
we were NOT barred from entering any of the rooms at all

Also, we were provided with a delicious meal, at which the men present both served the dishes and cleared away.

Jazzface1 · 03/02/2016 21:40

No one said 'you need' to do anything. In the same way you are entitled to prohibit your child going somewhere because of your feelings about something.
In regards to the Op, judging by some of the posts on this thread, it's not surprising that some parents have not allowed their children to visit a mosque.

AuntieUrsula · 03/02/2016 21:42

Some people seem to have strange ideas about what happens when schoolchildren visit a mosque. It's part of the RE curriculum learning about Islam, not some bizarre attempt to indoctrinate the kids with sexist ideology. Incidentally, all three of my DDs went with school trips and on none of them did the girls have to cover their hair or go through a side entrance.

Snoopadoop · 03/02/2016 21:42

Well, I suppose not. You don't have to. But wouldn't you want this for your child?
I don't understand this pursed-lip 'it's not for us' approach to life.

No I wouldn't want this for my child. Not just a mosque but any, absolutely any religious establishment. If they wanted to they could, I wouldn't stop them if they wanted to, but I would not encourage it and would rather they didn't.

Original poster
Cloudhopping · 03/02/2016 21:47

Some interesting points. Found out the reason for one of the non- consenters to the trip was that as they are Christian they felt uncomfortable with their child visiting a mosque.

But even after all this discussion and after all the points raised in the thread, I have seen nothing to make me feel easier about this.

I know that some people may argue that it's up to the parent, nothing to do with me etc etc as some posters have done and from a practical point of view, it isn't. But surely the point of site like this is to be able to debate these differences in attitude? Those posters who have said its none of my business, do you never question another parent's decisions for their child, or is it that you agree with their decision in this case so accept it without question?

Even reading through this thread I cannot see how closing the door on a harmless experience for your child can be a positive thing ( to those posters who wouldn't send their children due to the treatment of women in Islam-our children will face sexism in many areas of their life, it is a fact of life, doesn't it need to be faced and debated? Or will you shield them from it all?)

So few of the facts are known about other religions, and so many assumptions are made, surely this can only improve that? Yes visiting a mosque is not essential to learn about Islam but is any school trip 'essential'? Probably not.

OP posts:
RoseDeWittBukater · 03/02/2016 21:48

No way would I allow mine to go. Just no.

Somehow that's unacceptable but Muslims not allowing church visits is perfectly OK. Hmm

Valentine2 · 03/02/2016 21:48

YANBU. I would be shocked too. Whatever happened to growing together as human beings.

LagunaBubbles · 03/02/2016 21:49

Well since I don't "need" to send my children to visit a Mosque for them
to learn about different religions, cultures etc then why the criticism? Is it right to be called a racist, a bigot and an idiot?

LagunaBubbles · 03/02/2016 21:50

What like treating men and women as equals Valentine? Indeed eh?

Hippahippahey · 03/02/2016 21:53

Op I won't shield my children for sexism or inequality, I will educate them and discuss it with them.

But I will not send them somewhere where they will see their peers be treated differently because of their sex.

LagunaBubbles · 03/02/2016 21:55

Cloud my reasoning isn't to do with "shielding" my children from anything, least of all sexism. I don't agree with it full stop, a visit to somewhere that epitomises sexism therefore is simply not necessary. And debate is fine - to be called a racist bigoted idiot for having a different opinion to others in the "debate", not so fine.

Snoopadoop · 03/02/2016 21:55

the point of site like this is to be able to debate these differences in attitude?

As an atheist I have learned there is absolutely no point debating the existence of god with anyone of religion. Nothing I could say would change their mind and nothing they could say would change mine. The atheist will always come worse off in any debate.

Valentine2 · 03/02/2016 21:57

Laguna, I see your anger is just but OP has a very strong argument: why shield your children from sexism? Why not show them all and chaperone them. They will grow into more confident adults than the ones who did not get that exposure plus guidance from parents about it.

Tiggles · 03/02/2016 21:58

I am training to be a vicar and part of our training was to visit a Mosque. Something I had wanted to do for ages so glad to get the opportunity. Was pleased when DS1 got to go to a synagogue with school and hope the others get the chance too.
Was a bit concerned though that when we were visiting they said they would give us the same tour they give to the school children. Part way around we were told if we didn't follow Islam we would go to hell. I hope they don't say that on the usual school tour. But even so would still be happy to let my children go just be aware there could be awkward questions afterwards!

ZiggyFartdust · 03/02/2016 21:59

I don't particularly like the idea of school bringing my children to any religious places, be it mosques, synagogues or churches of any kind. Mainly because I don't really trust them to teach them about the religions properly, and I would rather bring them myself and teach them myself.

I probably wouldn't stop them going though, saying that. I don't have to decide though, because they don't do it anyway.

Helmetbymidnight · 03/02/2016 22:00

Ild like dc to visit a mosque with school- there should be more visiting- more interaction- more integration and less pretending the other doesn't exist.

Valentine2 · 03/02/2016 22:00

Hippa, you mean to say you won't send them into engineering, mathematical sciences, higher academics, in the highest offices of government and businesses in general? I see what you mean.

trendytoddler · 03/02/2016 22:00

I am very shocked by this being a muslim. I didn't think twice when sending my son to a church or gurdwara. We got a school letter sent home last week stating that because parents are refusing to send their kids to mosque they have had to cancel it many times. I was shocked to say the least. These parents are either very narrow minded or have no faith in their own religions.

BoffinMum · 03/02/2016 22:01

I've visited mosques. All I had to do was take off my shoes.
No scarfing expected or anything (and religious buildings are the only places I would make an accommodation in my dress code).

Valentine2 · 03/02/2016 22:05

In the first part of the fucking 19th century , Cambridge did have separate places for women and men scientists. That's the era when Rosalind Franklin ended up being so isolated at her work place that an arse colleague opened the bloody drawer which contained HER work (an extremely important peice of work too, and he fully knew what he was doing I am sure), and got away with it for ages and ages too. Some Ivy League departments of some sciences did not even let women enter doctorate programs at that time.
And I do see that the problem got solved by NOT visiting those places.

LagunaBubbles · 03/02/2016 22:06

Valentine my 22 year old is doing just fine in the confidence department, loving all the comments like this from people who think they know best about my own children. Is it so difficult to understand that they can understand sexism now without having to visit a Mosque to see it in action?