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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To do nothing all day

73 replies

Oysterbabe · 01/02/2016 09:46

My baby is just over 4 weeks old and I'm on maternity leave. We've had visitors all weekend, three different sets, and the kitchen is a disaster area with pretty much every plate and pan dirty.

My baby does not sleep at night yet and had a particularly bad night last night, I think I got about 2 hours of broken sleep. Maybe she was unsettled after being passed around all day, I barely got to hold her.

WIBU to not clean the kitchen and spend the day on the sofa cuddling my baby, napping and watching Netflix? I do see the housework as my job while I'm on maternity leave and will feel bad if DH comes home to a tip but I just can't bring myself to move. Plus DD will cry if I try and put her down to clean. If I leave it for today I'd do it tonight once DH gets home and takes over with the baby. He wouldn't say anything but can imagine he'd be a bit Hmm at me doing nothing all day.

OP posts:
PurpleWithRed · 01/02/2016 09:50

You are doing something - looking after your baby. If you're BF especially you are never doing nothing, you are making babyfood with your body, and that needs rest.

Rest up now, you may feel like attacking the kitchen a bit later on. You may not. Whatever.

Greyponcho · 01/02/2016 09:51

Fuck housework. Happy mum, happy baby

WorraLiberty · 01/02/2016 09:51

YANBU, but personally I would just get the dishes done (even if it's bit by bit) because that would make me feel more relaxed.

The rest can be dealt with by closing your eyes Grin

Ludways · 01/02/2016 09:52

Yanbu, I would do that without the baby! Lol

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 01/02/2016 09:53

Ynbu. You rest and enjoy your baby. Sleep when she sleeps, as you'll be no good to her being shattered.
The earth will still circle the sun, if the dishes don't get done.
Congratulations BTWFlowers

0christmastree5 · 01/02/2016 09:53

Agree with pp you are doing something, the most important bit.

Keeping your new baby warm and content. Benefiting from some essential togetherness. What a lovely way to spend the day.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 01/02/2016 09:54

Oh and you certainly don't do "nothing" all day with a baby.

StitchesInTime · 01/02/2016 09:54

If you're looking after a 4 week old baby, then you're not "doing nothing all day" even if you don't do one single bit of housework.

nightandthelight · 01/02/2016 09:54

As the others have said sod the housework! You are so far from doing nothing, you are caring for a newborn including feeding her :)

5608Carrie · 01/02/2016 09:56

I think I would try and do 15 minute blasts interpersed with spending an hour napping and with baby. You will feel better when its done.

wetsnow · 01/02/2016 09:56

Get on the sofa right now!!

notenoughbottle · 01/02/2016 09:57

Get on the sofa! I'm doing that right now and I couldn't care less - my ds is 2.6.

perpetuallybewildered · 01/02/2016 10:01

You won't be doing nothing, you'll be taking care of your baby. Having said that you may feel more relaxed if you do manage to get the dishes done even in fits and starts.

ridemesideways · 01/02/2016 10:46

Fuck's sake... Why do guests do this to new mums? It would not happen in many other cultures. For the first precious 42 days, everyone chips in to look after the new mum and the home, so she can just rest and feed her baby.

TheGreenNinja · 01/02/2016 10:48

Forget housework, there's only such a short time that your baby will fit in that lovey cuddly position on your chest. You are keeping a baby alive, that's not nothing!

Sairelou · 01/02/2016 10:51

Another vote for fuck the housework here Smile
Enjoy your new baby Thanks

FarrowandBallAche · 01/02/2016 10:51

Just rest. Sleep and relax.

If you can muster a quick tidy up of the kitchen at 4pm then good if not don't worry about it.

Gobletofgin · 01/02/2016 10:54

If your dh didn't want to come home to a tip, he shouldn't have left it in a tip when he went to bed last night and when he went to work. He could have done some washing up and tidying last night or first thing, or looked after the baby so you could do some.
If you feel like it, you could always do a bit whilst waiting for the kettle to boil, or if you can put baby down awake for a bit, definately don't do anything while the baby is asleep, if she sleeps, you have a nap aswell. A day cuddling on the sofa sounds lovely.

Marzipants · 01/02/2016 10:55

To the sofa! Or, ideally back to bed! Your DH can do dishes, or stick some bleach down the toilet, but no one can catch up on sleep for you.

Muskateersmummy · 01/02/2016 11:00

Rest. You can't feed your family from an empty cup. Have a lazy morning then see how you feel this afternoon. If you feel up to doing a few jobs, do them if not they can wait until dh comes home, then he can take over baby whilst you either do a few bits or have a nice soak in the bath

lazyarse123 · 01/02/2016 11:04

Congratulations. You need to rest. I am having a day on the sofa, got a weeks holiday. My kids are 26 25 and 23. HaHaHa.

Musicaltheatremum · 01/02/2016 11:05

Why didn't your visitors do the dishes? Or your husband?

You need one mug and one plate and a glass. Do those and you're sorted.

djini · 01/02/2016 11:11

Echoing what others have said above. You need rest and energy more than you need clean work tops right now. Back to the sofa with you!

(I also have a four week old, I am also sleep deprived, my kitchen is also a tip and I am currently eating biscuits and watching terrible films on Netflix while DD2 snoozes on my boob. Follow my excellent example!)

Whatdoidohelp · 01/02/2016 11:15

Your job is looking after the baby and I bet your doing more hours than your husband. Sit on your arse and have lots of cuddles. The house can wait. As can your visitors, start saying it isn't convenient.

SmileAndNod · 01/02/2016 11:21

Definitely NBU. You are looking after a newborn. They are the best days, when you can just sit and feed and snuggle. Enjoy, because they go way too fast. The house work will still be there tomorrow.

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