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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say that 'don't feed your baby to sleep' advice is BS

54 replies

NorthernRosie · 31/01/2016 09:19

Ever since I've had my baby this is all I've heard. If you feed your baby to sleep they will wake constantly in the night, you will create a rod for your back, you will never sleep again!! But to me this advice has been bullshit and caused me a lot of stress.

Feeding a baby to sleep is lovely, my daughter loves it and it's a lovely bonding time. And she's never had a sleep problem. She sleeps through the night and has done on and off for months.

But I have spent hours worrying about this and trying to force her to go to sleep without feeding. I've just realised I'm not sure why I am bothering....

OP posts:
DorothyL · 31/01/2016 09:19

Totally agee with you

OhShutUpThomas · 31/01/2016 09:21

Totally agree.

And they grow out of it in time. It's totally natural and easy.

LocatingLocatingLocating · 31/01/2016 09:22

Depends. I only managed to get my DD to sleep properly once I stopped feeding her to sleep. But YANBU to say that as a rule it probably doesn't apply to everyone.

Feeches · 31/01/2016 09:22

A huge part of me really thinks that it doesn't really matter what we do, babies will just do their own thing. Do what works for you OP.

LocatingLocatingLocating · 31/01/2016 09:23

And tbh, if she sleeps through the night the way you're doing things, then who gives a shit what anyone else says!!

ThisOneSeemsNice · 31/01/2016 09:24

I fed my DD to sleep until she was about 1. It was fine. She was always good at sleeping anyway. Just do what feels right for you.

BankWadger · 31/01/2016 09:24

YANBU

MrsJayy · 31/01/2016 09:25

It's only advice I know its annoying but there is mums on here who regret feeding to sleep as their baby a year down the line won't sleep so I guess what works for 1 won't for another. Good intended advice has always been thrown about my mil and mum told me about rods and backs when I demand fed 23yrs ago I'd spoil her blah blah

Catsize · 31/01/2016 09:26

YANBU - it is lovely. And then they do that little 'still feeding lips moving' thing when asleep. Smile

gamerwidow · 31/01/2016 09:35

I think its fine to do what ever it takes to get your baby to sleep in the early months/years. There's plenty of time to sleep train later. Parenting is a marathon not a sprint you don't have to rush DC to the next phase they'll get there in their own time.

IndomitabIe · 31/01/2016 09:36

I agree. Feeding DS to sleep meant we all got back to bed sooner and less stressfully, which was important given I'd gone back to work FT. And he also naturally grew out of it.

I regret trying to force him not to. That was horrible, and evidently didn't work.

CuppaSarah · 31/01/2016 09:37

Yanbu! It doesn't work for everyone but if it works for you both go for it. DD was fed to sleep till she stopped on her own at 6 months and has always been an amazing sleeper at nearly 3 now we don't have any problems.

DS was fed to sleep till 5 weeks(last week) which he now refuses to do Sad I love those sleepy milky cuddles. But he's sleeping through so I can't complain.

Original poster
NorthernRosie · 31/01/2016 09:43

Catsize yes! That is so lovely....

OP posts:
Fugghetaboutit · 31/01/2016 09:45

Doesn't milk have something in it that makes babies fall asleep too?

I've fed both of mine to sleep. Ds3 sleeps very well now and mostly has. Got a newborn and will do the same

cornishglos · 31/01/2016 09:53

It's so lovely and natural but my 2 year old still expects me to stay with him until he falls asleep.

witsender · 31/01/2016 09:54

Agree. Wean them off it when they are older and understand more.

Writerwannabe83 · 31/01/2016 09:55

I fed my newborn to sleep, as is natural I believe for gorgeous little new babies. This carried on for months and months and by the time DS was 8 months my life was hellish.

He wouldn't nap in the day unless fed to sleep and then he woke up screaming as soon as he was put in the cot. Night times were absolutely horrific, he'd feed to sleep and then every 2-3 through the night he would wake up screaming and would only going back to sleep if I fed him. We eventually ended up co-sleeping but it made absolutely no difference. I was getting about four hours broken sleep a night and I was emotionally and physically done it. I would walk the street for hours with DS in his pram during the day, just willing him to fall asleep but he never would. Sometimes he would only sleep for 20-30 minutes in the day and that was only if I fed him to sleep. I was exhausted and me and my husband were arguing all the time. One day my husband found me lying on the floor of the spare room, in absolute tears of frustration and exhaustion and we knew we had to do something. My return to work date was looming and I couldn't even function.

We paid for the guidance of a Sleep Consultant and it changed our lives.

I'm pretty sure there are loads of lucky women out there where feeding to sleep never became an issue, but there are also lots of women who go through misery because of it when the habit can't be broken.

If me and DH have a second baby then I will plan to do things differently.

Congratulations on having a beautiful new baby Flowers

Abbinob · 31/01/2016 09:55

I used to feed DS to sleep, it was easy, I was too exhausted to be doing hours of trying to get him to sleep. He was happy, I was happy. It's fine

StrawberryLeaf · 31/01/2016 09:56

Feeding to sleep is lovely and so easy! Cosy up together and I'm absolutely sure it's the way nature intends since feeding is supposed to release hormones to help sleep in babies.

Saying that I'm starting to think I should address feeding to sleep, my 7 mo will only go down that way, I'll be back to work at 1 year with some occasional evening work where I won't be there for bedtime and I don't know how my dh or mum will get her to sleep?

SkiptonLass2 · 31/01/2016 09:58

The ability to feed to sleep/ calm by popping a boob in is, in my opinion, the major benefit of bf-ing.

And yes, that little sleep sucking thing is being adorable :)

BumWad · 31/01/2016 10:01

I'm the same Strawberry I am going to purchase a dream sheep today to try and help!

MouldyPeach · 31/01/2016 10:01

I agree. Advice is just that, advice. I believe in going with what feels natural and right and finding your own path in parenting.

blueturtle6 · 31/01/2016 10:03

Yanbu, I feed to sleep, cuddle her before she starts to cry, cosleep. I love my dd and will give in to her demands at this young age.she wont be a baby forever

TheCatsMeow · 31/01/2016 10:08

Agree, I feed DS to sleep and he sleeps well. The only sleep problem was caused by him being ill.

I like feeding him to sleep

TheCatsMeow · 31/01/2016 10:09

Strawberry if your baby will take a bottle your DH can feed them to sleep. Mines bottlefed and feeds to sleep Grin

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