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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is rude?

101 replies

HackerFucker22 · 28/01/2016 11:23

Had to take my 1 year old to A&E last night. She has bronchiolitis but I was very worried about her breathing. Was in for 4 hours and am seeing GP in a few hours as I'm not sure if she needs to go back to hospital.

Emailed work today - 3 separate people - and not one for them has even replied. It even an acknowledgement and a cursory "hope dc is ok"

For full disclosure I only went back yesterday from ML. I knew my little one was poorly but didn't want to let work down.

I am a long standing employee and I have a pretty good attendance record (been there 10 years. No time off in either pregnancy other than appointments and I was back between my 2 kids and only had 1.5 days off in 18m)

I have also text someone I work with so she knows as well.

Aibu to think this is fucking rude?

(I've offered to make up time I am missing today / take unpaid leave. I have apologised profusely)

OP posts:
MelanieCheeks · 28/01/2016 11:26

Were your emails just to let work know you wouldn't be in? I don't think a non-reply is necessarily rude.

Imnotaslimjim · 28/01/2016 11:27

Are you normally in good contact with them? If so, it seems odd.

I'm sorry you're DC is poorly, MY DD had bronchiolitis at 5 weeks, it was a very scary time.

Is DD struggling? Is the diaphragm sucking in under the ribs or the neck bulging as she breathes? Either of those, or a blue tinge to the lips or nails means DD needs seeing immediately. If you're at all worried, they don't mind checking little ones so just pop her in

ghnocci · 28/01/2016 11:28

It's really unfortunate timing having just returned from mat leave - perhaps a phone call would have been better than an email?

Hope your DD is better soon.

AlwaysHopeful1 · 28/01/2016 11:28

Yabu it's not rude at all.

MaisyMooMoo · 28/01/2016 11:29

They're probably sat there rolling their eyes saying 'here we go, more time off'. I've worked in places like that, not the best attitude or atmosphere to work in but it happens unfortunately.

Or...they could just be really busy and haven't had chance to respond and think you may not see their response anyway as you'll be busy with sick child. I'm sure they'll ask how things are when you're back in the office.

ridemesideways · 28/01/2016 11:29

Maybe a bit of eye rolling going on as back-up plan not in place for poorly child. If she's not been admitted perhaps your co-workers think it's not too bad. Though perhaps to ignore you is rude.

middlings · 28/01/2016 11:30

Not rude - sorry. They may all be in meetings, there may be a crisis of which you are unaware.

Hope your DD feels better very soon. That sounds scary Flowers.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 28/01/2016 11:30

It's really unfortunate timing having just returned from mat leave - perhaps a phone call would have been better than an email?

This. I know you're on the level but they may be a bit Hmm - especially if they don't have kids - thinking you're pulling a fast one. It sucks but some people (my boss, for example) are insane about time off.

BettyBi0 · 28/01/2016 11:32

It depends how friendly and informal your work is. If you are usually quite chatty by email then I'd say yes, it does seem a bit rude. Did you mention a&e in the email? If so then I'm v surprised not one of them replied to check you guys are ok.

BettyBi0 · 28/01/2016 11:32

I'd probably have phoned too though tbh as it's more direct

AgentProvocateur · 28/01/2016 11:33

You'd have been better phoning than emailing. I don't think my work would allow that.

RiverTam · 28/01/2016 11:34

Not blaming you but as it was only your 2nd day back why didn't your DP go to hospital?

ThereIsIron · 28/01/2016 11:35

YABU. Not fucking rude at all.

missybct · 28/01/2016 11:41

Not so much rude, an acknowledgement would have been nice but depends on the type of existing relationship you have with colleagues/manager. Mine would be concerned and want to know I'm OK, but she's protective over her staff and has been there for me during previous health concerns.

To be honest, I would have definitely rung in too - most companies have a "ring in unless you're incapacitated to do so". On the occasions I have been off, I have sent a text to my manager so she knows ASAP and then ring in when the office opens as procedure requires. I did this when we were up A&E with DSS overnight.

I'm like you, I'd like acknowledgement that they've received my message, however I'd always ring in to receive that acknowledgement. I hope your DD is OK, and if you are concerned, give work a call after you've seen the GP so you can update them on the situation [flower] - I'd do that anyway.

Jackie0 · 28/01/2016 11:41

Sometimes work colleagues are just that , not friends or family.
They are only concerned with how it impacts on them.
I don't think it's rude as such.

hmcAsWas · 28/01/2016 11:44

I think you are being a bit high maintenance to be quite honest.

I do hope that your daughter is okay now, it can be frightening when they are ill when they are so small.

MyCatIsTryingToKillMe · 28/01/2016 11:44

Perhaps it would have been better if your DP could have done the appointment as it was only your second day back after Mat leave. Could have stopped the eye rolling in the office (if indeed it was happening but I suspect it was.)

MyCatIsTryingToKillMe · 28/01/2016 11:45

Hope she's OK btw. Flowers

BitOutOfPractice · 28/01/2016 11:46

Perhaps they are busy picking up your work? It is unfortunate timing no matter how legit it is

I would also have phoned

I am a parent so I know it's sometime unavoidable but it can also be annoying to be dropped in it like this

Anyway, I hope your DD is better very soon Thanks

Adeleslostbeehive · 28/01/2016 11:50

Most companies do specify you call in. Why would you need to email so many people?

I think you are being pretty unreasonable tbh. Hope your dd is ok though

Arkwright · 28/01/2016 11:52

Agree you should have phoned. Your DH could have taken your child to the doctors.

Alisvolatpropiis · 28/01/2016 11:53

I think yabu to be honest. Unusual to email rather than call, I've yet to have a workplace which didn't specify you are to call in if unable to attend work that day.

I hope your dd gets better soon. Mine had bronchiolitis when she was about 5 months old, unpleasant but she recovered quickly.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 28/01/2016 11:54

It's not rude. I'm surprised this would even be an issue when your child's ill. It wouldn't even cross my mind. Hope your daughter is ok. Don't dwell on this.

sonjadog · 28/01/2016 11:55

It's only 11:30 in the morning. Maybe they are busy and haven't got round to answering your mail yet?

Butteredparsnips · 28/01/2016 11:56

Hope your DD is OK you must be very worried. But you posted at 11:23 so plenty of time for them to get back to you. Or they might be waiting for you to ring in if that is the expected procedure?

Just a thought - although your company may have a carer's leave policy or similar. (Good ones do) you can only take sick leave if you personally are unwell. iME A lot of people mistakenly believe they are entitled to sick time for DC and try to call in sick when they are not. This made me wonder if this is what has happened and your company are still working out how to respond to you.

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