To think this is rude?

[HackerFucker22]

Had to take my 1 year old to A&E last night. She has bronchiolitis but I was very worried about her breathing. Was in for 4 hours and am seeing GP in a few hours as I'm not sure if she needs to go back to hospital.

Emailed work today - 3 separate people - and not one for them has even replied. It even an acknowledgement and a cursory "hope dc is ok"

For full disclosure I only went back yesterday from ML. I knew my little one was poorly but didn't want to let work down.

I am a long standing employee and I have a pretty good attendance record (been there 10 years. No time off in either pregnancy other than appointments and I was back between my 2 kids and only had 1.5 days off in 18m)

I have also text someone I work with so she knows as well.

Aibu to think this is fucking rude?

(I've offered to make up time I am missing today / take unpaid leave. I have apologised profusely)

I think you are being a bit high maintenance to be quite honest.

I have to agree.

At our place you would have also been in trouble for emailing and not phoning.

I agree with 'Butteredparsnips* - don't be surprised if they want to 'have a word' when you're back in the office.

I was reading your other thread earlier and i don't think they are being rude but I do think you should have phoned , you have had 11 months off ,been back a day and then they get an email to the effect of sorry I'm not coming in today as baby is sick - if anyone is being rude it is unfortunately you . Hope baby is better soon .

To be honest, emails only get replied to if information has been requested in my workplace, not just for acknowledgment / chat, so it wouldn't be regarded as rude. But, I don't understand the emailing offering to make-up time etc, surely you rang in and spoke to your boss to agree how you were going to handle this? Hope your DC is better soon.

How crappy of them OP.

But this was your only small mistake, you said you "offered to make up time I am missing today / take unpaid leave. I have apologised profusely"

Those actions indicate guilt, even if there is none (none here!)

Women need to learn to apologise less. It makes you look like you've done something wrong, when you haven't.

Just saying" Won't be in today as in A&E with poorly daughter" would be enough. Without offers to "make it up" or any "profuse apologies"

trust me

It's how men do it. Don't apologise (too much), don't explain (too much).

Are you sure they have actually picked up your email? I would follow it up with a phone call tbh.

They were perhaps a bit offhand but not rude. I think it was unfortunate that you only managed to get back to work after maternity leave for a few hours. I'm sure a few eyes would have rolled. It would have been better if your partner had stepped up and let you go into work.

our work specify in our staff handbook that emails/texts do not count and will not be accepted as suitable forms of communication. We have to call by 10am on the day of absence and speak to a line manager or director, or its classed as unauthorised and unpaid absence.

Think you are being slightly U to think emails are ok especially after one day back - surely a call explaining it and expressing your apology for being off so soon would have been a bit more courteous?

I have to agree. Why didn't her dad do the day off if you've just gone back?

My emails from home used to sometimes get shoved in Junk by the system at work. Iid never have emailed an absence, always rang.

I'd ring to make sure they know why you're not there.

Email is the way we 'call in' sick at my workplace.

However why on earth didn't DH do the doctors given it was only your second day back? That looks REALLY shit.

They might be asking HR, so the manager has said don't reply yet.

However, I'm a manager and I'd always reply re a sick child even if I was a bit miffed at the timing!

On the fence.

I'm with WhoKnows. My company is OK about giving notice of absence by email (prefers it actually as much easier to record); some others are more telephone oriented. If you haven't had a reply at all, it's worth phoning to make sure they've received it.

No need to apologise profusely either, just be practical ('I will be back at x so will be able to make up the time then if required/ I've notified Y that I won't make the meeting').

Hope the little one is now OK.

Umm, what reply were you expecting? If it was any special meeting you needed them to cover, then i would expect an acknowledgement that they had it covered. Did you want to know that your profuse apology had been accepted? Or reassurance that they were happy for you to have more time, this time unexpected, away? Could it be that they were busy, umm, you know, covering for you?

Thoughless perhaps, but not rude.

When people are in 'work mode' sometimes social niceties go out the window plus unfortunately alot of workmates without kids or with SAH wives just dont get that sometimes there's no other choice but to be off work with sick Dcs.

I get you had an awful night and its probably difficult going back after ML, but take no notice.

Also, in the nicest way, you're not the only person to have a baby. To them they just hear a parent saying their kid is ill. I get those texts and emails twice a week! To you it's a big deal your dd was ill, to everyone else it's not. I do hope your baby is ok though

Not blaming you but as it was only your 2nd day back why didn't your DP go to hospital?

this is such a nightmare and has happened to others I know, sincerely though why knowing it was your 2nd day did not your DP help?
hope she gets better

focus on your DD, not on having a rage

Hmm, in your colleagues situation I might not want to bother you with e-mails, especially to your personal address. They might just be giving you space and don't want you to worry about work.

Firstly they will be busy. They are at work. You aren't there so they may have extra stuff to do.

You have been at hospital and have a sick child. They may not want to email you incase you feel you must respond. They may not want to put more pressure on.

They may be a bit annoyed that you are sick in your second day and, perhaps, thinking (like some pp) why your dp could have taken the child today since you have just gone back.

They maybe annoyed you emailed and didn't call in.

It's not 'fucking rude'

It's not fucking rude but you ARE fucking tired so I can see why it's bothered you.

Have a nap when you can and I'm sure you'll see when you've woken up that its not really something to be too upset about in the grand scale of things. :)

YABU, sorry

If I heard that a colleague's DC was ill then:

a. I wouldnt want to bother them with email
b. I wouldnt want them to feel like they had to go into any explanation about what was wrong.

When they were back in I would as if every thing was okay but I would leave them to offer any details they wanted to give, I wouldnt ask for details.

I think YABU and I wouldn't consider a lack of response necessarily rude, probably just think that they're too busy to get back to me

Depends what sort of relationship you have with your colleagues. I've been on this situation as DS was admitted to bronchiolitis three weeks after I returned from Mat leave. I called and emailed work and received a response from one manager but not the other, but that wasn't a surprise to me as one is chattier than the other.

For me, DH was away with work so I hope no option but to take time off with DS (and before someone asks I don't have family close by). I haven't seen any mention of a DP or DH in OPs original post, yet most are assuming passing this on to them is an option?!

• to hospital