to not offer to pick up/drop off

[mommy2ash]

I unfortunately don't drive. I attempted to learn but was much too nervous and most likely won't attempt to again.

My dd's friend has been asking to come play at ours for a while. The kids have given us the other mums phone number and asked us to sort out a day, they are nine. I work full time so don't have a lot of free time but this weekend my dd is having another girl over to stay and go bowling. I text the mum saying her dd was more than welcome and gave my address and times to drop her and said the next day she can stay as long as she likes whatever suited.

The mum text back saying her dd would love to come and was excited and said I can pick her up before lunch time on Saturday and drop her back before 12 on Sunday as they are going somewhere.

Once I explained I won't be able to collect or drop off her mum cancelled and said her dd is now very upset.

Now I feel awful but I don't have a car and there isn't a direct bus so would need to take two buses there and two buses home each time. It takes between 10-15 minutes by car.

This mum and her husband both drive.

I thought my original message was clear before she accepted and this mum knows I don't drive. Aibu?

She apologised to your friend on YOUR behalf .

I hope your friend sees the funny side too.

She really doesn't get it does she? When I read your first update, I thought maybe she had realised the blunder and tried to save face.. Then I scrolled down.

Future play dates would be declined from me. And the excuse I don't want to take advantage of you dropping your daughter to me. And of course, coming to your is also taking advantage of always hosting. So no thanks.

Wow, she's a loon.

I don't really understand why your friend went to fetch the girl and bring her back again.

Could she possibly be thinking that it's normal to pick up and drop off kids you ask over for a playdate? Does she do it herself with her guests?

I have only skimmed the thread so apologies if missed this but do you think that for some reason (cultural / new to sleepovers / ?) she thinks it's the done thing for the hostess to pick up and drop off the child. Maybe your friend could subtly point out that it's actually the reverse.

x post with katharina

Why the hell did your friend not tell her she was being unpleasant?

Stark. Raving. Mad.
Hilarious thread though, you'll be talking about this for donkey's years OP.

Even if she thinks it's the norm, being invited to a sleep over is clearly an optional, nice thing. OP made it clear from the start that the invitation was conditional on the girl being dropped off and collected. For the other mum to get huffy and suggest a taxi is just mad!

hope you and your friend share the wine and chocs!

Has she not said thank you to you for having her daughter over and taking her bowling????

She sounds awful and I would have had to text something. She has been incredibly rude.

Such as shame its not acceptable to send her a link to the thread

My friend is very non confrontational and quite a gentle person. I can just picture her standing there blinking quickly thinking of how to get away fast.

She thinks it's all as crazy as I do. We have had a good laugh today.

It's such a shame big I won't be forthcoming with invites again as I know I will just have he same response and I won't ever be able to accommodate transport.

I wouldn't mind but I spent over 100 euros yesterday entertaining them so it's not like I'm being cheap it's just not practical.

So she contacted your friend and arranges a change of heart without okaying it with you?
She must have got her wires crossed and thought that the norm is for the host to do the running about. Your other friend seems a bit wimpy tbh for not putting her straight. Why on earth didn't she tell her she was being out of order?

when it's your friends turn to host, will she quite happily do the running around? Even though it would be bonkers to?

I would thank her for the wine and chocs she sent for you with your friend and see what she says to that. She can hardly say they were not for you. I wonder if she will ever say thank you. I doubt it.

Will you be having the child over to play again?

Have you heard from her at all? Even a quick text to say "Thanks, X had a nice time"?

I won't be making arrangements for this girl to come over again. It's too much hassle for something that is supposed to be a fun day out.

I really can't blame my friend it was a really awkward situation she didn't know what to say,

Glad your DD had a lovely time with her friends but definitely avoid this incredibly rude woman as much as possible! I can't understand how she hasn't thanked you but has ranted about you again!

Even if your friend was not confrontational, I would hope at some point she said something like, 'wasn't it kind of OP to have our children for 24 hours and pay for them to do X y z!?'

Unbelievable. I'm half expecting a text complaining about the lack of sleep, or quality of the food you gave them.

Really?
I'd text back "you're welcome"

Doesn't this child ever get invited to full on, village hall type birthday parties?

If you host the child the other parents pick up-drop off. They sound bizarre. Yanbu.