to not offer to pick up/drop off

[mommy2ash]

I unfortunately don't drive. I attempted to learn but was much too nervous and most likely won't attempt to again.

My dd's friend has been asking to come play at ours for a while. The kids have given us the other mums phone number and asked us to sort out a day, they are nine. I work full time so don't have a lot of free time but this weekend my dd is having another girl over to stay and go bowling. I text the mum saying her dd was more than welcome and gave my address and times to drop her and said the next day she can stay as long as she likes whatever suited.

The mum text back saying her dd would love to come and was excited and said I can pick her up before lunch time on Saturday and drop her back before 12 on Sunday as they are going somewhere.

Once I explained I won't be able to collect or drop off her mum cancelled and said her dd is now very upset.

Now I feel awful but I don't have a car and there isn't a direct bus so would need to take two buses there and two buses home each time. It takes between 10-15 minutes by car.

This mum and her husband both drive.

I thought my original message was clear before she accepted and this mum knows I don't drive. Aibu?

I can't believe anyone can be that rude and entitled unless there are mental health issues. Poor kid to have a mother like that.

How old are they? It sounds as if the dd would have been home alone to need the picking up and dropping off?

Round here it is normal for the parents of the invited child to drop off and pick up, unless the inviter offers.

Good lord i'm speechless. I agree with others your going to have to distance yourself.

Although i wouldn't be able to not reply so I would say "sadly taxi fares on top of the treat I had planned for them would make the cost too great, but thank you for the suggestion. Hopefully they will get together another time"

Wait, so she expects you to get a taxi there to collect her dad then back again to your house, presumably with the other girl and your dd. and then again the next day, so pay for four taxi trips? Madness!

"I can't get a taxi as I'll be waiting at home for Y's mum to drop off and collect"

What the hell is that survey about... Bagpipes

Lewis That's a bit random!

OP, the other mother has ishoos I think. I would let the girls get together in school and give her a wide berth.

She what?

Cheeky caaahh.

Poor kid. Bet she never gets to go anywhere.

I've heard it all now!

The only mother who used to ferry DD around to play with her DD was someone who was desperate for playdates and would do anything to accommodate them.

To my shame I let her as she lived in the arse end of nowhere.

Lewis..are you sure you are on the right thread?

Setting aside the fact that this mum is a cowbag, is there any chance that the other friend's parents could help out? It would be a shame for your daughter to be disappointed because the mum is an arse.

How rude!! I think I would let the friendship die a death.

Cheeky fucker!!

lewis123456789 you need to contact MNHQ for that sort of thing, please don't just spam threads with it. There's links at the bottom of the page.

never heard of a taxi then

PMSL

"LOL you're too funny [name]. Obviously not going to get 4 taxis with the girls in tow to pick your DD up to take her for a treat. Like I said, the offer for her to come over is still on the table, but you'll need to find a way to pick up and drop off. Hopefully see you're DD soon."

At least you now have a fantastic "you won't believe the cheek of it" story to entertain other parents and friends with.

Wow, how rude is she! I wouldn't reply but would want to text back 'what a good idea! I certainly don't mind if you want pay and arrange for taxis to drop and collect your child. Just let me know the times you arrange.'

YANBU She's upset her own dd. If someone's having your dc over and is kind enough to take them bowling, you drop them off and pick them up.

This is so utterly bizarre... It almost seems like she's got the wrong end of the stick and thinks the playdate/sleepover is happening at her house, and you're being unreasonable by expecting your daughter to be picked up Or else she's just nuts.

I would text, "You want me to pay for a taxi to collect your daughter to play at my house and then pay for a taxi to return her to you? Are you CRAZY?"

How old are they and what does dd say to it all?

"Hahahahaha! I pay for a taxi to collect X, take her out, have her sleep over and pay for another taxi to return her home? I don't think so, do you?"

Definitely odd!! I can only think that maybe she is fed up with someone else using her for lifts and is taking it out on you. Doesn't excuse her of course.

I was thinking that Cel982 Did she get the wrong end of the stick? Is she coincidentally arranging a bowling playdate too and doesn't understand? Otherwise it's just so unthinkable