to not offer to pick up/drop off

[mommy2ash]

I unfortunately don't drive. I attempted to learn but was much too nervous and most likely won't attempt to again.

My dd's friend has been asking to come play at ours for a while. The kids have given us the other mums phone number and asked us to sort out a day, they are nine. I work full time so don't have a lot of free time but this weekend my dd is having another girl over to stay and go bowling. I text the mum saying her dd was more than welcome and gave my address and times to drop her and said the next day she can stay as long as she likes whatever suited.

The mum text back saying her dd would love to come and was excited and said I can pick her up before lunch time on Saturday and drop her back before 12 on Sunday as they are going somewhere.

Once I explained I won't be able to collect or drop off her mum cancelled and said her dd is now very upset.

Now I feel awful but I don't have a car and there isn't a direct bus so would need to take two buses there and two buses home each time. It takes between 10-15 minutes by car.

This mum and her husband both drive.

I thought my original message was clear before she accepted and this mum knows I don't drive. Aibu?

[NoSquirrels]

Good lord. Unless there is something more to this (she has given you and your DD lifts to and fro lots of times, for example) then she is ridiculously rude and no wonder her DD is upset.

As the whole entire thread has said, etiquette is the child invited gets dropped off and picked up, unless it's otherwise convenient to the person hosting to drop them back. Blimey.

Don't feel bad for not driving - you're not the one depriving anyone of anything in this situation.

[bloodyteenagers]

I would text back
I think you are sending me texts for someone else. I messaged initially you can drop off a x time and pick up whenever Sunday..
Now I received a bizarre message about a taxi!?

[Jezebel555]

She wants YOU to pay for a taxi for
HER KID even though she drives??
Cheeky bitch!

[Pipistrella]

Oh wow. I'm not sure what to say.

[RainOhJoyus]

Fuck me, you get 4 taxis to pick up her daughter for the night? Bizarre. Have a good time with the one friend staying over.

[hootatoot]

I would ring her and say 'i think we've got crossed wires so I thought it better to ring' then make your original offer again. It's much more difficult to be rude in person actually speaking to someone than it is by text!

[CauliflowerBalti]

YANBU. This is all.

[LovelyBath]

YANBU, very rude of the other mum. A shame for the children. I agree it might be an idea to ring as 'it might be easier to make arrangements on the phone' something like the other poster said. Maybe there's some kind of problem with lifts that day and something can be sorted out.

[PuppyMonkey]

This thread is brilliant. Text back:

" Lol"

Then run for the hills.

[MrsGrumpyG]

Wow how bloody rude is she?! No love lost I'd be replying with something like 'of course I've heard of taxi's but as it was an invite for (your daughter) to attend, it's not my responsibility to get her either here or home on top of the treat I was planning for them. If you didn't want her to attend you could have declined instead of upsetting her and being incredibly rude to me. I don't drive as previously stated yet I have never expected others to run about after me to facilitate getting my child anywhere.'

Honestly I can't believe how rude some people are

[ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged]

I believe the official MN response is "are you on glue?"

[arethereanyleftatall]

There are only 3 possible options here;

1. There is a background you haven't mentioned.
   
2. She's absolutely bonkers.
   
3. This didn't happen.

[MargotLovedTom]

I actually prefer to do the drop off when friends have been over as it avoids standing in the hall chit chatting with the parents who don't take the hint that you want to crack on, and the dreaded parents who stand there for twenty minutes bleating "Come on poppet, time to go now," while their child completely ignores them and I then have to wade in otherwise we'd never get them out.

Everyone lives very local though so it's not a big deal to drop them off.

[Pepperpot99]

Unbelievable! some parents are massively entitled though and will try and get what they can out of people. Either she has somehow got confused and actually thinks the sleepover is at her house, or she is bonkers. I suspect it is the latter!

[sunseeker66]

YANBU, she's bonkers.

[MackerelOfFact]

Deliberately misunderstand her text and pretend you think you're now dropping your DD at hers.

'No problem, I'll book a cab and drop both girls round to yours instead, thanks so much for offering to take them all bowling!'

[mommy2ash]

The other mum who is my friend has rang me on my lunch break. This mum called her at school drop off this morning to complain about the situation. She has said she is fed up if people who don't drive expecting everyone else to ferry them all over.

The kids have never played together outside of school before and she had never given me a lift so it must happen to her a lot with other people.

My friend offered to get the other little girl but the mum declined saying that way I win.

I won't offer again but at least I know it's nothing to do with me. My dd was fine I just told her child x couldn't make it. She will still have her day out and sleepover

[notenoughbottle]

I've had this happen to me before. I pick up, entertain the child and then drop them back. I've refused to do it again which unfortunately means that my ds doesn't have any friends over. She is being totally rude. Unless there is more to it u would have to text her something back to that!

[AppleSetsSail]

She sounds mad as a box of frogs.

I wouldn't attempt any clever texts, I'd just say something like: "We'd love to have your daughter for a playdate, but I won't be sorting out her transport. Thanks."

[Pipistrella]

That way you'll win?

[KatharinaRosalie]

she is fed up if people who don't drive expecting everyone else to ferry them all over.

you are not expecing her to ferry YOU all over, are you? Or was she complaining that her 9-year old does not drive and expects lifts?

I drive but if I ask someone over for a play-date, I certainly expect that they are dropped and picked.

Reply that 'Yes, of course you can also drop your DD off by taxi if you prefer not to drive'

[Pooseyfrumpture]

that way I win

So not so much that her DD gets a play date but your sort (them non-drivers) win the argument.

Riiiiiight.

[notquitehuman]

Thank fuck she's shown her true colours already. That way you can avoid becoming friends with her and dealing with worse shit down the line. Ignore her texts. I hope DD enjoys her sleepover!

[JellyTotCat]

The mum sounds barking and bloody rude. You've done nothing wrong and were kind to offer the sleepover. Completely normal to take your own kids to a sleepover.

[NightWanderer]

Ok, so this way she wins?

So strange! I can understand her point if you asked her to pick up your daughter but it doesn't really work the other way around.

I wouldn't reply either.

For what it's worth, I drive. I don't mind driving friends around at all.