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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to feed DD roast dinner.

129 replies

MrsA2015 · 27/01/2016 13:06

Well not just that, but all food!

DD is 3 months and EBF at the moment and I'm fine with it but see no harm in switching to formulate if need be. But I'm sick to death of hearing "oh she's hungry for something else give her a little taste" I've had this stupid damn advice since the day she was born almost!!!!!! Just because she's started chewing her hands it's apparently a sign to shove a lamb chop down her throat. FFS! I'M GOING TO WEAN HER WHEN SHE'S OLD ENOUGH! had it up to here now, she's absolutely fine and putting on weight as she should and is clearly content with BFing . Can't even leave her with anybody inlaws/DHsfriend for a while to shower or have a sleep because I'm likely to hear " oh she loved a taste of cream/butter/jam". Just Arghhh!

And I know in "other countries they are on solids from really early stop bring precious" I couldn't give a hoot! There are guidelines for a reason!

Angry

Constantly on edge now if feeding around these people.

OP posts:
getyourselfchecked · 27/01/2016 20:08

That's not to the OP, obviously!

Original poster
MrsA2015 · 27/01/2016 20:21

Such a shame that new mum's have to go through this nonsense as if we don't have enough to deal with! On top of that the puree Vs baby led weaning is a new argument. I don't know what I want to try yetSad

OP posts:
Pyjamaramadrama · 27/01/2016 21:00

My fil starting saying to me "oh I suppose you've got to get signed off by the midwife to give him food have you?". This was despite me not having seen a midwife or health visitor since day 10.

Re blw or purées. I decided against blw in the end. He just didn't seem interested and I was getting worried.

I didn't do purées though and I didn't make hard work of it. I just steamed a load of different veg, mashed it with a normal potato masher and put it into normal ice cube trays with freezer bags around them.

Once he would eat from a spoon I just mashed up portions of our own meals so chicken and veg from our roast, a casserole, I freeze bits for nights when we are having a takeaway. He's eating it quite lumpy now and managing.

Original poster
MrsA2015 · 27/01/2016 21:12

pyjama this is going to sound so stupid but I thought puree was same as mashed really well? Or am I that dim...

OP posts:
NorthernRosie · 27/01/2016 21:21

I never understand the concept of 'you know what's best for your baby' when it comes to weaning - especially as this argument is always used to justify early weaning.

You may know your baby best but you can't see inside their gut of kidneys to see if they're developed enough to wean can you?

Would you extend the 'I know my baby best' principle to diagnosing medical conditions it deciding how much Calpol to give them? No - you would listen to experts and the research behind the recommendations

GoldPlatedBacon · 27/01/2016 21:22

I posted earlier. Blw doesn't do it for my dd but she will eat some finger food and mash off her spoon/fingers. For me purees are very smooth whereas my mash has some small soft lumps. I was given a cow & gate pouch recently and that was much much smoother than my mash.

bumbleymummy · 27/01/2016 21:25

maizie, weaning can mean introducing solids rather than stopping milk feeds.

Allthatnonsense · 27/01/2016 21:39

People do spout some absolute nonsense about feeding babies.

Mil used to bang on about warming baby milk as it's "not good for them to have it cold". One day I asked why exactly it wasn't good for them. She said that she didn't know but that of just wasn't!!

Just ignore them! Especially the ones who had babies 40 years ago.

shatteredmama · 27/01/2016 21:46

Op, I really do feel for you, I've been battling with overbearing, interfering relatives too. I've no idea why people feel the need to do this. I can't go along with the 'smile and ignore' approach that most new parents in this situation do any longer, it boils my piss. To interfere and undermine is just plain rude imo, I don't know why so many tolerate it. Sorry, no advice to give, just had to say you're not alone (and get a rant out of my system).

OrangeNoodle · 27/01/2016 21:53

Just do what's right for your child OP.

The signs are the baby being able to sit well, being able to coordinate enough to put food into their own mouths, and losing the tongue thrust reflex. These signs of readiness make perfect sense if you take away baby jars and blenders. Which you won't need if you wean at the right time.

^^

If I'd stuck to the 'signs of readiness', I still would be waiting to wean DS, aged nearly five. YEARS. Not months. He can't do any of those things, but he absolutely needed nutrition from actual food from about 7 months...

Kewcumber · 27/01/2016 22:03

WHen anyone tired this kind of "well I did XYZ and it was good enough for me" ridiculousness I developed an approach which baffeld them... I just cackled really loudly and gleefully and said "the joy of having your own baby is you get to do things the way you want to not the way someone else wants to!" and wander away muttering "my baby! Mine all mine..."

Works a treat as they can;t work out whether you're joking or not and tend to steer clear of the subject again.

It doesn't matter if they're guidelines or if it was OK 10/100/1,000,000 years ago, you get to do what you want to with your own baby. They had their chance with their babies - it's your turn now.

Pyjamaramadrama · 27/01/2016 22:08

Ah yes of course sorry MrsA when people say purées I always imagine people blending the food in a food processor. I've probably got that wrong.

Pyjamaramadrama · 27/01/2016 22:14

Kewcumber I love that "you've had your turn", I think people get really strange over babies.

They get really over invested in other people's babies but over such silly things too. Relatives get really invested about what you should be doing in a way that they just wouldn't over anything else.

kippersmum · 27/01/2016 22:26

OP, please don't get sucked into the mush vs BLW weaning debate, it is the only food choice possibly harder to make than BF vs FF. (For the record my 2 DDs are a mix of both options in each case).

My DDs had a mix of mush & BLW, before BLW had even been invented (I'm old!) Bit of mush to start the meal, if they show an interest in my dinner they can have some!

I had 2 DC very close in age, it was survival tactics more than anything else but it seemed to work really well.

If you choose to do BLW my only advice would be to get a dog. The amount of mess is incredible (some of my friends are big fans of it) & my dog works far better than a hoover or brush at clearing up wet rice stuck to the floor :)

Original poster
MrsA2015 · 28/01/2016 01:35

Argh honestly I can't get my head around it! Eating and drinking is one of the easier subjects to do with parenting IMO just bloody get on with it according to common sense and follow what's been put there to help along the way, unless your DC has certain dietary requirements etc that does make it really tough to tackle. I don't see anybody jumping in to help with the difficult bits, sometimes I feel like saying "by all means come over and hold her upright while she sleeps for the next 6 hours" or "yes I'll call you to sort her poonamis and wash all by vomited on bedding and clothes". No, no blinking help when it comes to that just a barrage of nonsense advice followed by a large helping of intolerance to crying.

As far as blw vs puree I've just been told " sod all that mess just mash it and shove it in my kids will eat anything I give them " Smile

OP posts:
Rinceoir · 28/01/2016 08:09

If I ever have another baby I'll be more relaxed about weaning. My DD wouldn't eat anything for months- wouldn't feed herself but wouldn't be fed when we eventually tried. Next time I'll offer a mix of mash and finger food from the beginning and go with the flow. Although I think DD was just awkward to be fair. At 21months the nursery tell me regularly that she's very "independent" which I assume is code for "stubborn and awkward"!

SparklyTinselTits · 28/01/2016 08:14

Rinceoir Grin love that!! I guess my DD is "independent" stubborn and awkward too. She's all of a sudden decided at 9mo that she no longer wants to eat from a spoon...instead she will yell until she is handed the yoghurt pot and allowed to scoop it out with her fingers into her mouth and hair, and trousers and the wall and occasionally the ceiling

tobysmum77 · 28/01/2016 08:33

Mil waffled on about how she started weaning dh at 12 weeks and he was fine. I was Confused as he has multiple allergies and asthma..... Which may or may not be connected.

imwithspud · 28/01/2016 08:46

People seem to equate 'fine' with being alive. Forget about any other health implications.

mincebloodypie · 28/01/2016 08:47

I'm going to sound smug here, but I have good reason

certain members of my family and my then partner's were obsessed with weaning. Obsessed with feeding the baby, making them as fat as possible. My aunt was having children around the same time as I had DD, and her babies were all clinically obese by age 2. Of course the doctor who told her that "didnt know what he was talking about"

I was young and impressionable, but I was stubborn, and the daughter of an NHS nurse. The more i was bullied, the more i dug my heels in.

Just shy of 6 months, I tried DD with some sweet potato. She vomited it up. She ended up being almost 8 months before I tried weaning her again, and we had no problems. She is now 8 years old, chose to be vegetarian age 7, and eats everything except meat. Last night, I kid you not, she was munching away at a kale, melon and black bean salad.

As a baby, she was always a perfect healthy weight, yet I was told I was abusing her by not feeding her bowls of cheesy pasta, piles 8f toast, rusks in the bottle etc, all by 3 months old. It didn't help that she was exclusively breastfed, which they found disgusting.

tldr: people go utterly batshit over weaning. I never understood why and I still don't. Obviously a kid isn't going to be on milk when they are 18. But i could tell you so many stories about how utterly mad these family members glgot over it

bumbleymummy · 28/01/2016 09:08

Very true spud. Any health problems they do have they are unlikely to attribute to early weaning anyway.

I do wonder if there's a link between the trend to wean early and the huge numbers of coeliacs/IBS sufferers these days...

RuthSaunders · 28/01/2016 09:12

We tried some bits early on as we were a bit worried did might be hungry but really she didn't start properly eating until 7-8 months. Tell them to relax, everything is fine and to only pipe up to say something positive.

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 28/01/2016 09:16

I just don't get the obsession. My parents were happy to follow our wishes but my ILs? SIL was giving DD ice cream at 4 months old behind my back (I intend on giving her PFB chips as his/her first food when she has a baby). It's not even like she doesn't know the guidelines because she's young; she's older than me and definitely knows better. MIL giving her chocolate cake at a party when she was 5 months old. What is the obsession with undermining the parents??

leedy · 28/01/2016 12:27

I am still baffled at the idea of a "taste window". Neither of mine were on solids til around six months and DS1 in particular is mad about olives, anchovies, curry, etc. What would he be eating if he actually was open to flavour? Industrial strength chilli sauce? Fermented fish paste? Neat vinegar?

MrsLiamNeeson · 28/01/2016 12:53

Oh god, MIL used to be the same with mine. We constantly heard that they, "just need a nice roast dinner!" and she was always trying to talk us into weaning.

We nodded along, and then ignored her Grin