To not want to feed DD roast dinner.

[MrsA2015]

Well not just that, but all food!

DD is 3 months and EBF at the moment and I'm fine with it but see no harm in switching to formulate if need be. But I'm sick to death of hearing "oh she's hungry for something else give her a little taste" I've had this stupid damn advice since the day she was born almost!!!!!! Just because she's started chewing her hands it's apparently a sign to shove a lamb chop down her throat. FFS! I'M GOING TO WEAN HER WHEN SHE'S OLD ENOUGH! had it up to here now, she's absolutely fine and putting on weight as she should and is clearly content with BFing . Can't even leave her with anybody inlaws/DHsfriend for a while to shower or have a sleep because I'm likely to hear " oh she loved a taste of cream/butter/jam". Just Arghhh!

And I know in "other countries they are on solids from really early stop bring precious" I couldn't give a hoot! There are guidelines for a reason!

Constantly on edge now if feeding around these people.

Btw I had same advice too from family. At Xmas dh's family asked if she was eating a xmas dinner with us. My mum and nana keep telling me to put porridge in her bottle as that's what they did with their babies from 1 day old. Also giving her rusks, I hate rusks! She doesn't eat them just sucks them and spits on floor in disgust.

Just ignore. We had the same. MIL in particular was very opinionated.

The only time I've ever commented on the choice another parent has made was when on MIL's suggestion, SIL started my dn on baby rice at 10 weeks (dn is two so not long ago).

Ignoring this unhelpful input form relatives is one thing, but the OP's problem is that these people are actually giving the baby 'tastes' of things like jam.

I don't know how you can generally stop people being pains in the arse.

When DS was a baby the advice I had (out of date Penelope Leach book) as 4 months. I would now never ever try and influence or pressurise or piss about with the choices of anyone who was observing current guidelines, I would support them in their choice.

I would be really direct with them. Say "whatever your opinion is, the WHO guidelines are XXX and as the mother my choice and decision is to stick to that. The reason I don't let you have the baby to look after is because I cannot trust you to stick to this. If you want more time with the baby before weaning you need to listen to my decision and suck it up".

Because as soon as you wean they will start on 'oh , just one chocolate button won't hurt...' unless you get them to see that you are serious and sick of the ongoing commentary about it.

One thing to remember though is most of us don't follow every single guideline, just the ones we like.

Im sticking to my guns just so exhausted at the constant passive aggressive battles! I feed her on demand and dream feed after a day out as she doesn't feed much when we're out and about.

I know what your going through. I have no idea what the rush is on weaning. Weaning is a pain in the ass and messy so the longer you hold it off the better! It's like it's a competition, madness.

I only started weaning at 4 months because the paediatric consultant told me to. Other wise dear God I'd of waited longer weaning is helll

Every child is different, you know your child best and so do what you think is best.

But every child ISNT different in the relevant way here. Your gut is only able to take solid foods once it has developed enough to do so, this is a fact. And no amount of knowing your child will change that. They might be fine - indeed the majority will be. But by weaning early you DO increase the chances of some medical conditions. It makes absolutely no odds whether so and so's dc was fine (this is accounted for in the majority of children being fine but doesn't change the probability of your child being the one with issues) or how well you know them, you can't know whether they will be affected!

I was the only person I know who actually waited until 6 months to start solids.

I don't think I've ever had a conversation about when I started weaning, apart from on here .

YANBU. Tell them to mind their own, if she's hungry YOU'LL feed her.

My exmil was the same. Tried to feed ds all kinds of crap for his first Xmas. He was 3 months. The only new thing he had was some water, due to the excessive heating in her house!

He was a very savoury based kid. Refused cake, but loved cheese and cucumber. Crisps as a treat. Toast. Garlic bread...

She was always forcing plates full of cake in his direction. As we only saw her every few months, we knew she wanted to give him nice things. So we said buy him crisps. (They were Friday after school treat at home, so an extra pack on a Sunday would be great for him! )

He loved crisps. Still does. Still not fond of cake. But every time, she stuck 1/4 of a full size, tesco special cake on his plate. Same with me, her and ex. None of us adults finished... Why would a toddler?

She is as bad with dd. oh, they only have a little bit of wheat in... They will be fine!

No, thank you. She would rather eat this dish of fresh strawberries. You can keep your cheap, greasy sausage rolls.

Trust your instincts. Maybe it's a generation thing? As long as you feel you are giving your child what they need, everybody else can butt out!

Weaning is bloody annoying, especially when they can't feed themselves. I was lucky, although I've had problems with my ILs interfering, they totally respected the guidelines - or if they didn't, they didn't say anything.

Some people in my NCT group weaned their babies around four months, one of them in particular had a baby who barely had any muscle control in its neck; the baby clearly wasn't ready and wasn't trying to eat, the puree was just dribbling back out and the mum kept shoving it back in. It was actually awful to watch but I kept my mouth shut.

Yep. Same here. Ds was started on blw just before 6mo because we got so much pressure. Mother told me my cousins ate a full xmas dinner at 3mo.
Luckily we live 2hrs away so dont have to put up with it constantly.
She also told me the gp was stupid and i should follow her advice re cradle cap, so medical leaflets dont always help.
Shes now telling me my sister was fully potty trained at 1yo. When i pointed out my brother wet the bed til age 8 she suddenly changed the subject.

Both mine I waited til 6 months. Nothing would make me do it early. What's the rush?

Same here, certain family member commenting on how much DS loved his milk then asking if I'd thought of putting a rusk in his milk at around 3 months old, just why?
Oh, and DS is number 4 DC although a big gap between you'd have thought that they'd remembered my responses from the other 3.
As it happens, DS was ready at 26 weeks and all I've heard since is 'I can't wait to give him x or y or z etc'.
My advice would be to listen but ignore, the old smile and nod too

DS weaned at 4 and I couldn't wait, the guidance was 6 months even then. Either that or he would have been attached to the breast 24 hours day to fill him. The difference in his nature after a teaspoon of baby rice was noticeable. Now 21 eats absolutely anything including things like game, oysters, sashimi. He is fit, healthy, a graduate, works full time. It didn't make the slightest bit of difference.

Maybe I did it "wrong" to some people - I don't think I did. I did however draw the line at MIL's suggestion to give him a bottle with whiskey and sugar in it to help him sleep.

Go with what is right for YOU, no one knows your baby better than you.

I started at 6 months but wish I had started at 5. He just didn't get eating for a couple of months so I felt behind.

"The signs are the baby being able to sit well, being able to coordinate enough to put food into their own mouths, and losing the tongue thrust reflex."
If I'd weaned my daughter based on these signs, she would have been about 3 months old. As it was I waited until 4 months, which was the recommended age at the time. She loved it. The only thing she didn't like was that I refused to let her wield her own spoon for another several months because I didn't want the mess.
Nineteen years later she'll still eat just about anything as long as it doesn't have mushrooms or mayonnaise in it. She didn't even go through a fussy toddler stage, lucky me.

However, I did get a lot of "helpful" advice about other things, and I definitely second (third? fourth?) the advice to keep repeating the official recommendations. In fact, specifically ask your Health Visitor, Doctor, or whoever your in-laws, etc., will listen to, and then keep repeating "I asked about that, and she/he said ''. This is why [etc.]" Then, next time, say it again.
Or have your husband say it. Even better.

My dd was weaned at 13 months and ds at 5 months. Every dc is different so tell them to "shut it".

Apparently we were all on lamb chops and gin at 6 weeks, also potty trained at 1 and were soothed by our parents' 40-a-day habit. And it didn't do us any harm, any more than being beaten regularly and sleeping in the cupboard under the stairs.

The gin bit is probably true - gripe water used to have gin in it. Aided Restful Sleep for sure.

speaking as a victim/survivor of fuckwits that interfere with your parenting, from health "professionals" to those in my private life, I can say i'm behind you on this!!!!

OP my son chewed his tiny hands from about 3 hours old. The midwife told me it's what babies do when hungry. They were right as it was (amongst other obvious signs!) something he did when he needed milk. So the theory that it means your DD is ready for solids doesn't sound right to me!

My mum in law, very well meaning was always keen for me to give water in a bottle (assume it's something she did). It started to feel like she was on a huge mission to push this. Also wasn't keen on me breastfeeding but that's an entirely other matter!

You stick with what right for you and your daughter. I don't blame you for feeling hesitant to leave her with someone likely to go against your wishes and give a taste of something. That's for you and your husband to decide only, when the times right.

Don't people behave strangely when it some to babies? Very hard to stand your ground when tired and looking after a newborn.

I wonder if the WHO advice just applies to meat. It's a very acid food so difficult to digest, esp. when combined with carbs like a steak and kidney pie!! So of course don't give a roast dinner to an under one yr old BUT IMO and E a bit of baby rice and breast milk or formula is fine if the baby WANTS it at 4 months.

Go by your instincts and the baby I would say.

YANBU. I had similar with both of mine. MIL was the worst, she weaned her children at about 8 weeks old. So when mine got to about that age she did a lot of projecting i.e. "I bet you'd love to try some of this" "wait till you can have some" "I bet you're hungry aren't you but mummy won't let you have any food yet" she never gave them anything before they started weaning, she wouldn't have dared. But it was annoying. Although both started weaning at 6months, neither child was bothered about food until about 7months.

I also don't know anyone with a child who waited until 6 months to wean.

Ppeatfruit I find it odd that you wouldn't give a roast dinner to an under 1yr old but you don't see the problem with giving a 4month old baby rice

There are three signs that show your baby is ready to wean...

They can sit totally unaided and have proper head control.

They can see food, pick it up with their fingers and put it into their mouth.

They don't push food back out of their mouth with their tongue (this is a reflex to prevent choking).

You can find this information online .....you can show it to your in laws and family.

Stick to what you want to do. My DS was chewing his hands from 2 months and it was teething. He had cut most of his teeth and was starting on his molars by the time most of his little NCT friends had their first