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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To agree with this headteacher regarding wearing pyjamas as outdoor wear?

403 replies

MaisyMooMoo · 26/01/2016 19:18

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tees-35413153

OP posts:
80sMum · 26/01/2016 21:33

Good grief! Now I have heard it all. I saw the other thread title but didn't click on it. I thought it was a joke; I didn't for one moment think that anyone actually would go out wearing pyjamas!

I am still finding it hard to believe! A recurring bad dream of mine when I was younger was that I would accidentally forget to put my shoes on and go to school in my slippers or, worse, forget to get dressed and go out with my dressing gown on. Don't the people who go out undressed feel any embarrassment at all?

Eggnoggsnog · 26/01/2016 21:41

Nope. When you've done a week of nights, days, then twilights, while managing to keep the family warm, fed and watered, coordinating activities and homework, then and only then, I may let you comment on what I choose to wear out of the house.

Until you live my life without falling asleep in a heap in the nuddy, I won't give a fuck what you think about my attire!

FFS, I'm not going out in negligee. It's a pair of cotton trousers and a cotton top, that happen to be comfy to sleep in. After perhaps 2 hours sleep, and after the school run I will be going back to sleep, I can wear what I like.

Every second counts when you're seriously sleep deprived.

It's normal in Liverpool, as someone else said, people buy 'going out PJs'. They're just clothes, bits of cloth to cover you up so you don't get cold. There are far more important things to get worked up about that what clothes other parents wear for the school run.

I have never attended parent's evening in my PJs, but in my sleep deprived state, it's probably only a matter of time before I forget it's on, and end up there. It could well either be PJs or not go, and I'd rather parents were engaged with meeting teachers, and attending events, than be judged on what they wear.

Will everyone fuck off with judging women on what they wear.

Mine aren't PJs, they're my superwoman uniform.

SaucyJack · 26/01/2016 21:42

I kind of agree with the HT on this one, and I also agree with the other HT recently in the news who was commenting on the "state" of the children themselves.

From my own experiences of the dark days I do think that it's necessary and ultimately helpful if different agencies take a good cop/bad cop approach to basic parenting standards.

So as long as a person has (for ex.) their CPN or drug misuse worker giving them support and tolerance for their own issues, I think it's also OK for the school HT to be telling them to get their finger out their arsehole and put some fricking trousers on before leaving the house.

Too much of one or the other achieves nothing. It's about a balanced approach.

Eggnoggsnog · 26/01/2016 21:43

get their finger out their arsehole

Perhaps I should stop working, and live off benefits, so I can keep normal hours like you angels, eh?

PaulAnkaTheDog · 26/01/2016 21:45

Every parent I've ever known who worked shifts/nights still managed to pull on clothes for the school run. 30 seconds to put them on, 30 seconds to take them off.

Eggnoggsnog · 26/01/2016 21:46

Single parents?

I cannot be fucking bothered to keep the likes of those on here who judge happy.

I dress for me, not anyone else.

ForalltheSaints · 26/01/2016 21:48

I agree 100% with the school.

Eggnoggsnog · 26/01/2016 21:50

Those of you judging- why don't you offer to help these parents with the school run?

Or would that be too kind, and it's more fun wearing judgey pants instead of PJs? (I know which are comfier.)

SaucyJack · 26/01/2016 21:50

I was talking about parents in a different situation to you Eggnogg, but seeing as you clearly want to make this personal.....

Couldn't you just sleep in yoga pants or leggings if it's really impossible to get changed?

No difference to you, but no one walking past is going to identify your clothes as PJs.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 26/01/2016 21:52

Eggnog and what are your opinions on going to parent's night, school plays and assemblies in pyjamas?

PenelopePitstops · 26/01/2016 21:56

I agree with those people saying that going out in pyjamas is wierd.

Most people don't do it for a reason. It is minging.

The HT has a point. Good for her for sticking up for standards. People moan about the youth of today, they've hardly got a great example from their parents.

It's another sign of the entitlement culture. Put some clothes on and have some respect. It takes seconds to pull on jeans and a t shirt no matter how sleep deprived you are. You are using sleep deprivation as and excuse to not be arsed. If it's that bad, sleep in your jeans.

Got bugger all to do with hours worked and how many kids you have, put some clothes on.

EnthusiasmDisturbed · 26/01/2016 21:57

I too am rushing about single parent getting ds to school off to work rushing back cleaning, cooking, washing, homework, my work and so on

So should I get up earlier to pick up someone else's child/children because they haven't got 2 min to spare to put on a pair of leggings/tracksuit bottoms/jeans and a top

I haven't seen this at ds school but have at others. Because it is now a trend before people would have realised that the person was struggling but we also know it's a trend to appear slobbish

Behooven · 26/01/2016 21:58

I agree with the HT.

There have always been overworked, careworn parents (single or otherwise) and always been stressed/depressed parents too, but this pj for shopping and school run phenomenon is only a few years old.

I think it shows a self pity and lack of self respect. Just my opinion.

AtSea1979 · 26/01/2016 21:59

I don't think it's about being judgy. It's just gross to go out without a wash and change. It takes a few mins to do this. There's times I've done the school run with a baby wipe wash down and thrown on clothes in space of a minute or two. Never would it cross my mind to go out in my pjs. I felt really self conscience this evening when I put my pjs on and realised I'd not taken the in to the bottom of the drive for early morning collection and have to go out in my own garden in them.

Eggnoggsnog · 26/01/2016 22:01

No, I wouldn't go to concerts etc, or parents' evening, unless I got caught short having forgotten it was on.

I honestly don't have self pity, I'm too busy. I certainly don't lack any self respect!

I think judging others just shows what sort of person you are. If you're actually concerned, then offer to help if you can. Sneering is just nasty.

Eggnoggsnog · 26/01/2016 22:03

For me, I do the school run in the middle of the night. My shifts change frequently, and I'm permanently jet lagged. If I have a shower, and dress, my body goes into "WORK!!!" mode, esp as it's often light outside, and I struggle to sleep. Meaning I struggle more, and end up in a cycle of tiredness that makes everything harder.

Why would I do that?

EnthusiasmDisturbed · 26/01/2016 22:03

Help for what

To find another trend to follow ?

Eggnoggsnog · 26/01/2016 22:04

If someone judged me for wearing PJs, I'd just laugh at them, and avoid them in future.

If someone saw how tired I was, and asked if they could walk them in for me just one day, they'd have a loyal, kind, resourceful friend for life.

I'm a good person.

I like cotton clothes, which is all PJs are.

rebellove · 26/01/2016 22:12

Agree with HT. Ffs get dressed!

MaisyMooMoo · 26/01/2016 22:13

Eggnoggsnog you sound stressed and on the edge with your lifestyle. Do you have friends or family that could help out?

OP posts:
gabsdot45 · 26/01/2016 22:14

I live in Dublin and wearing PJs out in public is definitely a thing in my area. The local health centre put up a sign banning pajamas.
There's no need. Get dressed ffs.

2rebecca · 26/01/2016 22:16

Wearing night attire outside is a stupid recent fashion. Putting a tracksuit on takes 20 seconds and stops your nightclothes getting wet and grubby. It'll also be warmer.
There's being relaxed and there's being idle.

Eggnoggsnog · 26/01/2016 22:16

I'm actually fine.

I just like my PJs.

When the kids are home, I prioritize what they need. The rest of the time, I prioritize sleep. And I won't have anyone snotty telling me how to dress, ever!

What is the difference between PJs, and cotton trousers and top? I wouldn't chose to wear lots of things lots of people do, but they can wear what they like.

I don't think this HT will achieve anything accept alienate those from the "rough end of town".

FWIW, I'm a junior doctor, not exactly "rough", and I would laugh at anyone who said I was.

MiddleAgeMiddleEngland · 26/01/2016 22:21

DD2 said she would have died of embarrassment if I'd taken her to school in PJs.

Has everyone doing this actually checked with their DC that they are okay with it?

LightDrizzle · 26/01/2016 22:21

I think the head is bang on. It's an awful example for the children in the school who are rightly expected to turn up on time, appropriately dressed and ready to work.
It reminds me of a post I once saw on the TES forum from a teacher making the dreaded phone call to parents about a young secondary school boy's punctuality. She was relieved find that the boy's mum was totally supportive and shared her own frustration that despite ringing her son every morning to chivvy him up, he was still being late for school. The teacher began commiserating about how difficult it is to police when you are at work, only to be corrected and told that mum was ringing son on his mobile, from her mobile, from the comfort of her own bed in the same house.

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