To agree with this headteacher regarding wearing pyjamas as outdoor wear?

[MaisyMooMoo]

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tees-35413153

That's kind of different though. Any one of us would be within our rights to tell people yelling at each other in the playground to pack it in. Whether we did so would be just down to bravery/fear of consequences. I doubt we'd feel it our place comment on another parent's dress. The HT is I'm no different a position.

Wearing PJs is a fashion statement among non MC people, Itsmine. It is indeed a modern day equivalent of the shellsuit.

Conspicuous gym participation is a marker of status in the middle classes. Let's not pretend that the clothing that signifies that is anything else.

Yes there's nothing particularly less lazy about failing to change into clothes specific to the school run before /after the gym as there is before /after getting back into pjs. It's only social convention that makes them be perceived differently .

I though Samantha Brick had disappeared up her own arse. Eejit.

Schools should mind their own business imo...part of me can understand where she's coming from but the better part of me is like... what a parent wears to school is not in your remit lady... now frig off

Conspicuous gym participation is a marker of status in the middle classes. Let's not pretend that the clothing that signifies that is anything else.

Is it possible that the people wearing the gym gear are simply on their way to the gym? Maybe it's easier to simply wear gym gear than get dressed in regular clothes, pack gym clothes, and then go to the gym and change from regular clothes to gym clothes just to avoid the appearance of being excessively middle-class aspirational.

Yes there's nothing particularly less lazy about failing to change into clothes specific to the school run before /after the gym as there is before /after getting back into pjs. It's only social convention that makes them be perceived differently .

There's nothing less lazy about going to the gym than the activities you can undertake while wearing pajamas?

I didn't comment on the relative effort expended prior or after the school run but. since you asked, doing the school run and then going on to the gym sounds a reasonably leisurely way to spend a morning really, though I accept it says nothing about the business or stress in the rest of that person's life. Similarly, going back to bed after the school run may denote an easy life devoid of responsibility or the complete opposite. There's no way of knowing and no particular reason why anyone should care.

Yes of course they are on their way to the gym a lot of the time, Coincidentally everyone becomes aware that they are going to the gym.

It would be like wearing your horsey clothing to drop children off. People would notice. People would assume you were a certain sort of person.

Just because a lot of people wear gym gear doesn't mean it can't be a marker. It announces you have leisure time, a middle class preoccupation with fitness and your figure, and the money to spend on a gym membership.

The point I am making is it is perfectly acceptable to appear to be aspirational /middle class when middle class people are doing the perceiving and the judging, but not to be non-aspirational / non-middle class.

The point I am making is it is perfectly acceptable to appear to be aspirational /middle class when middle class people are doing the perceiving and the judging, but not to be non-aspirational / non-middle class.

Exercising is beneficial in a way that lounging is not. It is patently superior to the kinds of activities to which pajamas are conducive.

Do you consider exercise a middle-class pursuit?

What if these parents are running alongside their children's scooters on the school run? Isn't that a form of exercise that requires no gym membership or leisure time? Is that still middle-class signalling?

All middle class markers are middle class markers, including feeling that exercise is better than lounging, and donning special clothing to fit in your exercise while simultaneously escorting a child to school is an expression of very acceptable MC neurosis about making maximum use of time and keeping fit, killing as many birds as possible with the one stone.

Driving the child to school in the landy would be a marker. Getting the child to school by sending her there with the nanny ditto, though those two latter options would signify a different social set from the one that engages in conspicuous gym and fitness focus and conspicuous shoehorning of fitness into other tasks.

The assumption that parents dressed in pajamas spend their day lounging may or may not be accurate. You could easily run in pajamas. They are light and often elasticated. They wash and dry easily (any pajamas I have ever owned do anyway). You could easily clean a house from top to bottom and clear overgrown bushes from your garden. You could paint or wallpaper or move furniture around or cook a decent meal. But pajamas as clothing scream 'scrubber' so most MC women would rather not be seen dead in them outdoors lest the people they signal to get the wrong impression.

People signal to their own chosen group, whatever group they hope to fit in with and impress. The mums in pajamas are visually signalling to their own group. They are not on board with MC markers. They are very clearly choosing to identify with a lower class than the HT wants her school to be associated with. It sometimes annoys middle class people that those in the lower classes reference their own social milieu and don't appear to share MC preoccupations or focus. I think annoyance at this is what has got a hold of the HT.

On the days I work from home I choose clothes for comfort rather than style. Because I'm middle class these tend to be joggers though I've been nowhere near a gym. I might wear these on the school run. I don't try and pretend this is a morally superior choice to pyjamas

Who cares really? It's such a first world problem. We have clothes on our backs. Parenting is exhausting and I can see why it would happen in the morning. I spend so much time getting my dc and baby clean dressed and fed I often don't have time for myself. I've just bought a loungy tracksuit to wear to the school run. It's as close to Pjs as I can get!

While I don't think the HT has any business saying what the parents should wear on the school run, I don't buy the so-busy-being-a-mum excuse. Back in the day no woman would ever have taken her children to school wearing PJs, and it's all down to social expectation and pressure, the image projected.

The same is happening here; a social expectation has been made, improperly, by the HT.

For myself, I would never wear PJs outside the house. I don't even wear gym-style clothes or trainers when not actually doing something sporty. Do I judge others who do this? Yes, but I keep it to myself.

Plus yes, what is said above. I never sit down tbh. Baby and 4 year old. Plus am renovating a loft and sorting out new house. Often I can be seen in my onsie past midday. I have a phd, and work in a university but am currently on maternity and up lots with a baby. Figure that one out!

The point is though it's irrelevant whether these people have a valid "excuse". In this aspect of their lives they are accountable to no one. It's called liberty. It's precious easily squandered and sometimes needs a little support. Even if the price for that is having to witness some sartorially dubious choices on the school run

Pyjamas don't scream scrubber... They aren't the most sexually alluring outfits I've ever seen. I never imagine a woman lying in bed in pyjamas with a come hither look on her face. Pyjamas to me hint at a desire to curl up and get away from a brutal outside world and be somewhere you feel safe.

Anyway, why the assumption it's only women doing it? Because men more often go to bed naked?

Or are we assuming only women do the school run?

Face: washed
Hair: brushed
Teeth: cleaned
Bag: packed
Knickers: on

There are a few things that a five-year-old might miss, but mine would have been appalled if she'd seen grown-ups in their night-clothes.

Maybe we have a different idea of what scrubber means, Round.

math yes i also don't think it screams 'scrubber'

hooray for this....

we are turning into a nation of scrubs... unemployable, disrespectful, argumentative and uninspiring....

we have an ever increasing below the poverty line population....

... and it doesn't seem to be getting any better....

anyone using excuses or sending attacks about this point need to take a minute and try and imagine what their kids will be like if their kids actually follow their parents example.

OR

what will you say if your kid turns round and tell you they are embarrassed because of the way your dressed. or why don't you wash or why are you wearing pj's?

what sort of a crazy state are we in when we have to tell other adults to wash and get dressed for parents evenings or social events......

heres a hard pill to swallow people.. lifes hard... lifes full of challenges... but YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT.
Thats why sites like this are so well received, because for the most part, people want to work through the hard bits and succeed for their kids...hense the effort in BEING A ROLE MODEL.

i'm a single dad with custody of 2 kids 7 mths and 4yrs...
......what kind of day starts with 'maybe i wont get dressed this morning'.

You want to be a mate and a buddy... go find one of your own.... YOUR KIDS NEED A ROLE MODEL...NOT A LAZY FRIEND... otherwise whats the point of calling yourself a parent...

dont you want your kids to have the best start in life?
dont you want them to fit into the world and society we live in?
dont you want them to have good relationships will people in the community and outside?

Having the mentality of don't care what you think, i'll do what i want' is more than just clothes... and its proven that the wider society are sick of it now........for the sake of your kids....start behaving like a parent.

.....incase it wasn't clear.

I am phd educated, i have a refurb house i've had to put together because of a bad relationship. I work fulltime and i have arthritis raging through my hands and shoulders .

Everyone has days where they can't help it... but its the mentality behind the really lazy examples like everyday pj's or pj's to parents evening or christmas plays.

...and then its the reaction of 'I don't care what you think, I can do whatever I want to do'.

I would love to say that... but what life would i be giving myself or my kids if the core life bits revolved around 'i don't care'.....hmmmm not good.