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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To pull up my neighbour for noise, even though we had people over last night...

137 replies

rockabella · 25/01/2016 17:18

My DP invited some friends around to watch a sports PPV last night that started at 1am. They are a nice bunch, had a few beers between them etc but nobody was overly drunk or particularly rowdy. I was asleep in the bedroom next door so would have woken up if this was the case and they knew I was up early hence another reason for keeping the noise down.

I WAS woken up though by the son of the couple upstairs who must have been jumping up and down on his floor, and hammering at it in a response to what my DP said was them cheering at the TV. The banging continued for the next hour to the point it was shaking the light fittings and has now continued sporadically throughout today.

We are generally quiet people, rarely have people over and are in the process of moving house. We've never had any run ins with the folk upstairs and they've always been pleasant to us. Their son however has never spoke a word to us so I don't know much about him other than he is in his late teens/early 20s.

AIBU to want to pop a note through the door or have a word even though we were the ones who had people over last night and may have woken the son up? I can understand he might be a light sleeper and the one loud cheer might have stirred him, but to continue for another hour, and then today seems ridiculous.

OP posts:
differentnameforthis · 26/01/2016 09:08

Wow...a prick & a twat because he made some noise, after having been woken & kept awake for a few hours?

So the op & her dh are what then? Perfectly justified?

I can guarantee that 7 men were not as quiet as they think they were. Add to that, your dh did not intend to apologise until forced to go upstairs (because of noise) at 11pm!!! No wonder he got the door shut on him, neighbour rightfully assumed your dh was there to moan, and add an apology as an after thought!

If either of you intended to apologise genuinely, you wouldn't have waited until 11pm!

lornathewizzard · 26/01/2016 09:18

Watching wrestling in itself is noisy, add in 7 people for 3hrs and a cheer at 4am and I would have pretty noisy the following day aswell. I say that as a WWE fan, but also as a neighbour of a UFC fan. At the end of the day none of us know what are neighbours are dealing with at any one time.
Lessons to be learnt for next time I guess, although as you're moving I suppose it will be different next time.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 26/01/2016 09:24

if he thumped on ceiling all of next day I wouldn't assume it was in retaliation but something else. maybe he got a new Wii game or something and was stamping around?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 26/01/2016 09:24

I agree it would definitely be noisy though. our upstairs neighbour has friends round every Saturday evening to watch sport and it does disturb us, but thankfully doesn't go on until early hours.

MidniteScribbler · 26/01/2016 09:29

Anyone who watches wrestling is pretty much already tagged as a dickhead to me. Anyone who thinks that they should invite six friends over at 1am to watch and cheer on a match is a fucking dickhead and deserves to be kept awake by their neighbour seeking retribution the next day.

snowymountaintops · 26/01/2016 09:45

Mmmmmm......

Your DH and his mates were unreasonable to think no-one would hear them esp as others have said doors closing etc as they left.

Your neighbour was unreasonable to carp on about it so long although I do sympathise with him.

Fabrica is the most unreasonable though to be so dismissive and sneery about adults watching sport.

7 Hail Mary's and 2 Our Father's each please.

YouGottaKeepEmSeparated · 26/01/2016 10:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
rockabella · 26/01/2016 12:29

Accepted DP and his friends were unreasonable however I don't see how being a wrestling fan makes you a dickhead...

OP posts:
HelpfulChap · 26/01/2016 12:33

Because the result is predetermined?

Obviouspretzel · 26/01/2016 12:47

I can't believe how people are carrying on about a bit of noise and cheering for one night. If my neighbours did that, I might think "fucks sake" for a second, but then I would just think "so what". If it's not all the time, then I think people should get over themselves to be honest. If you don't want to hear any noise, don't live in a flat.

I live in a flat and I sometimes hear kids crying or playing, or furniture being moved. Sometimes a baby cries in the night. Should I complain ?

To suggest that someone is in the right who responds by hammering on the floor for hours afterwards is ridiculous. Just go and ask them to keep it down if you're that desperate, most people in my experience will tone it down if you ask nicely.

snowymountaintops · 26/01/2016 12:54

Of course it doesn't make you a dickhead, these things happen. I would have given notice possibly though and not do it again for a long time.

Hamiltoes · 26/01/2016 12:57

Obvious most people wouldn't get worked up about a baby crying or furniture being moved, that kind of noise can't be helped. Its classed as everyday living noise and most people expect it as part of living in a flat.

Would I expect to hear the type of noise described by OP? Yelling at 4am? Absolutely not. I've lived through that and its fucking enraging.

HermioneJeanGranger · 26/01/2016 13:04

"If you don't want to hear any noise, don't live in a flat."

Wow, really? If only life was that easy Hmm

Obviouspretzel · 26/01/2016 13:05

I would class the sports event as everyday noise as well. My neighbours are entitled to ruin my night once in a blue moon in my opinion, that's a price I'm willing to pay in exchange for them being able to enjoy themselves in life. To be honest, if a baby was crying, it would be most likely for multiple nights, so more annoying. But again, I wouldn't have too much of a problem with it, as it cant be helped as you say.

Of course, it's a completely different story if you're talking about constant, inconsiderate behaviour.

fabrica · 26/01/2016 15:52

Well Obvious, that makes you as childish and uncouth as the OP's partner. How immature are you, for god's sake, that you would find it necessary to whoop and yell at the television like a drunken brainless idiot?

GruntledOne · 26/01/2016 18:21

No, if the twat upstairs had stopped being a passive aggressive idiot then everyone (including him probably) would have had an easier day. Two wrongs, especially when the second wrong totally outweighs the first, don't make a right.

And everyone would have had an easier day if OP's husband had gone round there first thing to apologise; we haven't been told why he didn't do that.

And actually the second "wrong" doesn't totally outweigh the first. The initial conduct was (a) a total failure to warn the neighbour of what was planned; (b) talking and laughing for several hours after midnight - I'm prepared to bet the friends came round well before the programme started; (c) letting out a loud cheer at around 4a.m.; and (d) failing to apologise. I'd say that's at least equal to what the neighbour has done, without the excuse of being justifiably pissed off due to having been kept awake most of the night.

GruntledOne · 26/01/2016 18:24

I can't believe how people are carrying on about a bit of noise and cheering for one night. If my neighbours did that, I might think "fucks sake" for a second, but then I would just think "so what".

Seriously? That would be your sole reaction to several hours chatting and laughing culminating in a loud cheer at 4 a.m., Obvious? And you seriously think that your neighbours can only enjoy themselves by conduct of that type?

Or are you on here just for the fun of being goady, by any chance?

Pipbin · 26/01/2016 18:29

I would class the sports event as everyday noise as well.
During the day or evening yes, 4am, no.
For example, nextdoor have three teenagers. There is a lot of shouting and noise that goes along with three teenagers. I have no problem with that during the day at all. However I do get annoyed with it at 4am.
Mowing the lawn or putting up some shelves is everyday noise. I'm sure it would piss you of at 4am though.

Original poster
rockabella · 26/01/2016 18:49

They were supposed to be watching it at another friends house, which feel through last minute. They arrived at 12.30am so not exactly appropriate to start knocking on doors etc. My DP didn't go up and apologise when the banging started because it continued for a while and it didn't seem appropriate to go up in case he was pissed off to the point it could get out of hand. My DP wasn't drunk, he had 2 beers.

When the banging continued today my DP held off, we figured okay we were a bit unreasonable, let it calm down upstairs before apologising but it didn't and he didn't want to hear an apology anyway.

The sons parents are home, we bumped into them today and apologised, and they said it was fine, the husband likes to stay up for the Superbowl and knows what its like. I mentioned the banging from the son and the response was "aye he can be a bit stroppy" and laughed.

So situation is remedied, yes DP and friends were a bit nosier than it seemed, and a tad unreasonable however calling them dickheads for enjoying Wrestling isn't exactly fair. Would they still be dickheads if it was another sport?!

OP posts:
Original poster
rockabella · 26/01/2016 18:50

not my DP being pissed off, the guy upstairs*

OP posts:
bellaSorela · 26/01/2016 19:35

He has obviously done this because your noise woke him up, I understand you may not have people over very often but you still disturbed him. Maybe he had a big exam or something the next day?
YABU to post a note through the door. You made noise, you upset him, he reacted.
Next time dont make so much noise on a weekday.

Pipbin · 26/01/2016 19:53

Did you read the thread Bella

Glad it sounds like it's all cleared up op. I would leave it that you both agree to be pissed off with each other over what happened but at least the air is clear.

Obviouspretzel · 26/01/2016 21:21

I just honestly wouldn't mind it. It seems to me that a lot of people on here get seriously wound up over something that is hardly a big deal.

And when did I say it was necessary to do that, or even that it was something I would do? It isn't btw, especially over any sport played in the middle of the night. I simply stated that if my neighbours DID do that, as long as it was a rare occurrence, it wouldn't particularly bother me.

pictish · 26/01/2016 23:05

Neither me. Live and let live.

differentnameforthis · 26/01/2016 23:17

The other thing to consider is that watching competitive sport is NEVER just "one cheer at the end"

I imagine with wrestling that you would cheer when your 'guy' got a good shot at his opponent, the same way you would when your team scores a goal. That can be loud.

I also think that you would collectively sigh when the opponent got one over on your guy, like you would when the other team scores against yours.

I also imagine that you would yell a bit, when the ref makes a choice you don't like. That can get loud too, with people yelling at the TV what they would have done differently, or that the ref is a wanker etc.

So, all those saying it was "one cheer at the end" haven't watched a competitive sport that they are really into.