To pull up my neighbour for noise, even though we had people over last night...

[rockabella]

My DP invited some friends around to watch a sports PPV last night that started at 1am. They are a nice bunch, had a few beers between them etc but nobody was overly drunk or particularly rowdy. I was asleep in the bedroom next door so would have woken up if this was the case and they knew I was up early hence another reason for keeping the noise down.

I WAS woken up though by the son of the couple upstairs who must have been jumping up and down on his floor, and hammering at it in a response to what my DP said was them cheering at the TV. The banging continued for the next hour to the point it was shaking the light fittings and has now continued sporadically throughout today.

We are generally quiet people, rarely have people over and are in the process of moving house. We've never had any run ins with the folk upstairs and they've always been pleasant to us. Their son however has never spoke a word to us so I don't know much about him other than he is in his late teens/early 20s.

AIBU to want to pop a note through the door or have a word even though we were the ones who had people over last night and may have woken the son up? I can understand he might be a light sleeper and the one loud cheer might have stirred him, but to continue for another hour, and then today seems ridiculous.

It's not ok when you are 'chatting' loudly enough to wake a neighbour.
What might be chatting to you is a row to others.

Yes the neighbour was being an arse to complain for so long by stamping but I think the op can't really complain too much.

thanks ziggy

Neither me or DP has a problem with apologizing, just a bit confused by the dramatic reaction, and now by completely ignoring my DP and his attempts to apologise.

We live in a very large, older building with a living room that could easily accommodate 20 adults if we wanted to so it's not as if we had a crazy number of people crammed in. Have accepted noise may have woken him up, understandable, and have attempted to apologize.

I hope he keeps you awake until 4am with random banging, then you might actually get why he's pissed off with you.

like being a good bunch of people is an excuse

I hope he keeps you awake until 4am with random banging, then you might actually get why he's pissed off with you.

Yes, because the last 18 hours of banging hasn't been quite enough!
What on earth is wrong with you?

AIBU? - yes

No I don't think I am

Yes you are (Ad nauseam)

Lone voice - NYANBU

OP - thank you, just what I thought!

Furiosa

Furiosa

Already accepted DP and friends were being a bit unreasonable, have made attempts to apologize.

I wasn't thanking Ziggy for saying YANBU but for other points made.

is the banging still going on now?

So because they have jobs and stuff its okay for them to cheer in the middle of the night Wow. Just wow.

Well however weird his reaction is I bet your DP will think twice next time.

Desired effect then?

I'd have been livid if I was your neighbour.

I'd say it was a pretty standard response TBH. A lot of people react to being disturbed all night by making sure the person who disturbed them can't have a nice quiet lie in the next day. It's often the advice given on here, do some DIY or put loud music on the next day to give them a taste of their own medicine.

BTW, saying 'Oh, we only had 7 people over, we could have had 20 and REALLY disturbed them so they should be grateful' is an appalling attitude.

I can see both sides.

7 adults "talking", drinking & yelling for 3+ hours at 1am is going to create more noise than you think! Even if they were trying to keep it down. This is where you have to realise that it is pretty impossible to be quiet in a flat, with 7 people, drinking & watching a PPV.

You slept through it because you expected it to happen! I can't tell you how many times I have slept through parties at a friend's place, yet if my NDH were to have one that I didn't know about it, it would wake me. It's just what you get used to.

Yet his banging woke YOU up, because it was noise you weren't expecting...see, it's what you get used to!

Your neighbour wasn't excepting to be woken at 1am, and to continue to hear noise for 3hrs. Once you have been woken up, if that noise continues, it is hard to get back to sleep, and that just makes you even more angry! It doesn't matter if he had an exam, or an interview, or was just meant to be studying from home, to wake someone at that time of night is unreasonable. His plans for today don't even come in to it.

However, instead of being PA all day (although I do agree with him banging at the time, he was trying to get you lot to shut up) he could have come down & complained & told you exactly what was on his mind.

It's his prerogative to not speak to your dh & accept his apology too.

If I were you, I'd leave it. And perhaps be a bit more respectful of those around in future.

7 men, plus booze (no matter how little), plus TV noise, plus cheering is NOT going to a quiet night in, no matter what you think, op!

It's often the advice given on here, do some DIY or put loud music on the next day to give them a taste of their own medicine.

Exactly!!! Like the time I sent my dd's outside at 6am with whistles because the morning before my neighbour woke the street up with music at 6.30am!!!

Well said different. I couldn't have put it better myself.

And you say that you haven't had any other complaints?

Perhaps people are just too scared to complain? There had been plenty of cases where complaining about noise has triggered neighbour disputes that carry on for years and escalate.

This makes people just hide in their homes & put up with crap & noise "for an easy life"

I would place a bet that other neighbours were disturbed that night, but didn't want to confront 7 drinking "rowdy" men at 4am!

None of them were rowdy, just talking and then one loud cheer at the end, I've already stated we usually forewarn neighbours, and it's only every 7/8 months this actually happens. We are in very good terms with our neighbours in general, they wouldn't think twice to ask us about noise or to "Turn or down" if they had an issue.

Upstairs only moved in at the start of college term after the Summer. No complaints from them and we have helped the parents on numerous occasions with wee things to do with moving in to a new place. We seem to also get on well.

I'm not upset about being woken up myself, my problem was that he started the banging at 4am, at the end of the PPV show when the cheered. One loud bang etc I could accept but this went on until 5am, so an hour after everyone left, and with enough force to shake the light fittings. This then carried on throughout the day until yesterday night when DP went up to apologize and had the door shut in his face. He did stop after this though.

I never had a problem with apologizing for wakening him up.

'I never had a problem with apologizing for wakening him up.'

He stopped once you'd apologised. Yes, he was being OTT, but if you'd apologised earlier, his protest would probably have stopped earlier too.

Exactly OP! He started banging when the event finished and everyone presumably went to bed and continued banging throughout the day so the people who were up all night (and kept him up too) didn't get a nice quiet sleep. Just.like.him.

Who cares what you normally do. A student (and they're supposedly the noisy inconsiderate ones!) moves in and gets woken up and kept awake all night by 7 people talking and watching tv in the dead of night. Sounds travel in night. Even 7 people chatting with no TV will wake one up because it's not normal noise. Our brain will continue to tell us something is wrong, don't fall asleep. Tv noise we have gotten use to.

So once again - his plan was to make sure the bastards that were up all night couldn't get a peaceful sleep in during the day. Hence why he's kept the banging up.

Oh fgs of course that's not a normal reaction to your neighbours having people round as a one-off. What a little prick.

It's surprising how people react when others are being a prick though, look at all the threads advising a passive-aggressive response when someone's baby can't sleep. or their children have been kept awake. Everything from noisy play at 6am and up.
If the OP's OH had apologised sooner, say 5am, then everyone would have had a calmer and easier day.

No, if the twat upstairs had stopped being a passive aggressive idiot then everyone (including him probably) would have had an easier day. Two wrongs, especially when the second wrong totally outweighs the first, don't make a right. A small child knows that.

If you have seven people watching a sports event in a flat in the early hours it will generally disturb your neighbours - no one has even mentioned the noise of these people leaving the flat, closing doors/stairs etc. It's really selfish behaviour to do this and not have the courtesy of warning people either. The upstairs has been a knob in his reaction - perhaps none of you are suited to living in flats?

Honestly none of you are coming out of this very well.