To be shocked by how much a tiny cute baby can fart like a 20 stone trucker

[scarednoob]

Just that really. DD is 4.5 months and absolutely beautiful. But my goodness, sometimes she has the cheesy bean infested bumoley of a mahoosive builder after a night on the guinness! Was I totally naive not to expect this? Or are they all farty little beasts?!

ugh why not in parenting or somewhere where descriptions of the farts of offspring seem less fucking disgusting

They are all farty! I remember being so shocked when my dd1 was a few days old and starting making these incredible noises.

Dd2 is 2 weeks old and has spent a large part of today farting like a grown man.

They are especially fragrant if bf and mummy has had curry or cauliflower

Hahahaaa! My middle child was just like this - DH and I were astonished! Really loud, man-sized farts that lasted for literally 20-30 seconds! My other 2 just did cute little trumps as babies (mostly)

Ds was only weeks old and being bf in bed during the night when he let out a belch that would have done a navvy proud. It was a proper man belch, not a cute baby one. I could hardly believe such a noise had come from such a tiny wee thing!

It's the burps which sound like beer drinking men crossed with hairballed cats that get me.

Why open the thread pimplucius?

OP yes they are gassy fart balls, it's quite shocking. The velocity at which newborn poop can be released at is quite something to behold.

I am laughing a lot at these descriptions (and also v relieved that my DD isn't the only one). Clearly I was naive about these things.

I miss being naive!

Yes!! I was in the kitchen yesterday and heard an absolute belter from the lounge, was about to chastise my 6'3, 18 stone hubby when he shouted that it was my 2 week old, 7lb daughter!

I have fond memories of my twins trumping away next to each other in their cot when they were tiny. So loud!

I always knew when my little baby DD had awakened in the morning as you'd hear the biggest, loudest fart emanating from her room. DH and I used to lay in bed giggling at her. She's now almost 13 and STILL does it! It's now a family joke

You are not alone, my 4month old DD wakes me up with farts in night, that she sleeps through!! HV told me that bf babies don't have wind....err this one does!

I remember DD1 letting rip when she was about 5 days old and DH and I looking at each other in shock and both exclaiming 'It wasn't me!' And then our jaws dropping as we realised it was her!!

pimplucious it's a parenting website. The whole site.

My friends baby used to wake himself up with his noisy trumps and then start crying!

I was shocked when my tiny baby did this!

😂 @ pimp, seems to have got Mn confused with Reddit.

2 month old ds sprayed dh from his face to his waist with a huge fart that followed through during a nappy change!

I had a lovely bowl of Jerusalem artichoke soup when DD2 was about 6 weeks old.

It doesn't really affect me in that way, but poor little DD about flew to the moon!

My pfb is 3 weeks old and a teeny premie, this has been the biggest surprise as a ftm. She's a 5lb whoopie cushion.

My favourite is when you lift them up and the gentlest pressure of your hands on their tummy starts them firing off a volley lasting several minutes

yes! Mine does this if I am feeding her in bed and she is lying on her stomach across me - a tiny little string of fart bubbles get popped out as a result!

She's currently snoring like father jack. I didn't know about that either...

Dc2 was known as 'trumpet trousers' when small, and still does a good impression of something that should take off and move like a hovercraft now older!

For you pimplucius

Remember being in hospital with DD1 and the curtain being drawn and the first time she did it being in total shock and disbelief - thinking omg - no-one will believe that came from her, even I can't believe that came from her...
(everyone will think it was me )
She also did the same in a shop. It was a factory shop and really quiet my mum was looking at something at the far end of the shop and I was sat on a chair next to the door holding my beautiful angelic 4 week old... just as an older man opened the door she let rip...he looked at me in horror and went into the shop. I was so shocked I didn't say anything but felt like following him and explaining 'it wasn't me honest' but thought that would be even more embarrassing...