To be shocked by how much a tiny cute baby can fart like a 20 stone trucker

[scarednoob]

Just that really. DD is 4.5 months and absolutely beautiful. But my goodness, sometimes she has the cheesy bean infested bumoley of a mahoosive builder after a night on the guinness! Was I totally naive not to expect this? Or are they all farty little beasts?!

[HappyIdiot]

DD is 17 mo now and if she burps, she points in her mouth and giggles. And if she farts, she points at her bum. Very funny but we might need to discourage if she's still doing its when she's at school.

I had terrible wind after my c-section. I was quite glad she was a farty baby, so I could blame her

[Rebeccaelizabethxo]

He hasn't yet eaten a nappy, but has been known to lick the remnants off her bare bottom before !
Not all dogs have the taste for baby poo, I think it's lovely for children to grow up along side a dog.

[MoonDuke]

at exploding baby

DS1 never used to fart much (too busy being sick multiple times a day) but my god DS2 would let rip!

He still does, and at age 20 months he finds it funny and holds onto his bottom saying "bot bot" or when he burps he points to himself and proudly says "bup"

Having said that, DS1 did fart very loudly on one memorable occasion - in a waiting room. Cue a deafening silence then everyone burst out laughing. (fortunately it was obviously the baby)

[MummaV]

My DD farts horrendously in her sleep and it echoes on the baby monitor. Every 20 minutes or so for the first few hours of her going to bed!

Her burps also rival my large, military, rugby playing uncle.

Babies are cute but so so gross!

[Karanka]

I love the way a baby can cough, sneeze, fart, burp, laugh, cry and hiccup ALL AT THE SAME TIME - your baby just sort of EXPLODES in your arms :)

[Andthentherewasmum]

Your title made me snort out loud!

DS was silent but deadly, at least you get a warning noise!!!

[liz70]

Oh, yes, I remember snuggling in bed with DD3 when she was a few months old. She'd let out these long, low, sonorous guffs that near lifted the bloody duvet up an inch or two.

[scarednoob]

(Context: I'm desperate for a dog, and with DP giving up work to be a SAHD it's the first time I'd be able to have one. But he's not keen. Because "they shit everywhere and eat shit." Gah!)

[scarednoob]

Oh noooooo, bad dog!!! Does the dog eat nappies then?

[Rebeccaelizabethxo]

My lovely 9 week old does the loudest wettest farts I have ever heard. So much so everytime she does one, wherever he is, the dog comes running in to sniff her bum in hopes of a tasty baby poo treat...

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

Oh I remember the shock of that first baby trumpet! Magnifique! Horrific! Terrific!

[Topseyt]

I have news for pimpluscius. We love a good fart thread on here

My three were great farty fuckers too. They could fart for England, especially during and after a feed.

[AgentZigzag]

Hahahaha great title

And at pimplucius' outrage at such horridness and at 'My friends baby used to wake himself up with his noisy trumps and then start crying!' that's so lovely and should be saved to re-tell at meeting his first serious girlfriend

[BillBrysonsBeard]

Oh my god yes! No-one warned us of the trucker trumps We were lying in bed next to the cot holding our sleeping 2 week old and he did the loudest fart! We had to go out of the room as we were laughing so much I learnt it's not about the size of the bum that matters!

[UntilTheCowsComeHome]

DS2 was a really farty baby, a constant little wind bag.

He still is.

He can fart on demand, and being a 10 yo boy he's very proud of this skill.

[Cloppysow]

Just pimplucius then? Jolly good.

[WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant]

Just wait until they are all big enough for beans, in a plastic reverberating high chair...

[ThroughThinkandThing]

Yes! A friend of mine (just had her first) exclaimed in shock on this matter when I saw her a few months ago.

[peggyundercrackers]

Our ds has the loudest longest deepest burps, I think he gives himself a fright sometimes. He's getting better though (I mean it's not as bad as it used to be :))

[SilverBirchWithout]

DS had the rest of the cubicles in the maternity ward laughing at his man-size trumps from just a few hours old.

I think nappies have acoustic reverberation properties.

DH always maintained he inherited this trait rom me. Guilty, as charged

[unlucky83]

Remember being in hospital with DD1 and the curtain being drawn and the first time she did it being in total shock and disbelief - thinking omg - no-one will believe that came from her, even I can't believe that came from her...
(everyone will think it was me )
She also did the same in a shop. It was a factory shop and really quiet my mum was looking at something at the far end of the shop and I was sat on a chair next to the door holding my beautiful angelic 4 week old... just as an older man opened the door she let rip...he looked at me in horror and went into the shop. I was so shocked I didn't say anything but felt like following him and explaining 'it wasn't me honest' but thought that would be even more embarrassing...

[CrystalMcPistol]

For you pimplucius

[mineofuselessinformation]

Dc2 was known as 'trumpet trousers' when small, and still does a good impression of something that should take off and move like a hovercraft now older!

[scarednoob]

yes! Mine does this if I am feeding her in bed and she is lying on her stomach across me - a tiny little string of fart bubbles get popped out as a result!

She's currently snoring like father jack. I didn't know about that either...

[RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime]

My favourite is when you lift them up and the gentlest pressure of your hands on their tummy starts them firing off a volley lasting several minutes