PIL won't give us their house...

[JapanNextYear]

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/jan/22/my-parents-in-law-have-gone-back-on-a-promise-to-give-us-their-house

TLDR

pIL offered to move out of their lovely house with garden to let family living in pokey flat in London move back to Midlands. How would this have gone on AIBU?

Noooooo, swop is not right!

Please don't tell me that this is some further bastardisation of the English language.

Swap swap swap swap swap.

She talks about 'wanting to own their own home'. Well no, actually she wants to take over the ownership of her husband's parent's house. Not quite the same thing when you're talking about building a legacy for your children.

She does not come across well in this.

Sorry for the derail but here is the "my son got a tattoo and I'm heartbroken article".

My son's tattoo hurt me deeply

gu.com/p/39h9n?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Copy_to_clipboard

We're they talked into it, or did they dangle the house in front of them? I think it must be a big disappointment, even though they aren't remotely entitled to it if you thought it was happening and then it didn't... And they don't even explain why. Plenty of people seem to get houses and money handed to them on a plate.

Agree with pp that "these people" is such telling terminology for this twunt to use. Poor PILs.

The in-laws promised the family a better life and have taken it away without telling them, but still want them to move close by. I would lose all trust in them

That's not actually what the letter said. The pils "agreed" and there is no suggestion at all the move to the Midlands is at pils' instigation.

The writer says "we have various reasons for wanting to move back to the Midlands " including being near her mother.

The pils seem to be the mechanism of enabling the move, not the reasons for it.

I agree. It's just the not telling them I'd be cross about. We don't know if the in laws were strong armed in the first place. But I would just choose to then not move near them.

Lass that tattoo mum is PATHETIC!

Yes rafflesway, this may well be the start of a family fued. Well assuming it is real that is.

GruntledOne yes, not on at all to discuss this with the PIL.

A councillor, or even a close friend who can tell her to get her head out her arse, is who she should discuss this with.

I think the advice was spot on re pathological fear of renting and her mother's situation after divorce. Those appear, to me at least, to be driving forces behind the attitude displayed in the letter. Her PIL are responsible for neither.

I think the ILs may have had it pointed out to them that should the offspring divorce it's likely their DIL could have a judge postpone the sale as her family home and live there until the kids are 18, which would leave them and there son with nothing while she let rent free.

Someone with that attitude is going to end up divorced sooner or later. Why take the risk?

I live in a fairly pricey bit of the Midlands and I'm certain that they could rent or buy a very reasonably sized house here for the same cost as a 2 bed flat in London and still fork out for a train pass.

If that article was a thread on mn, op would be accused of being a troll. Flame grilled and the words "entitled", "grabby" and "rude" would definitely feature in the responses and lots of

Sadly, I'm sure people like that dil do exist and are just as disgusting irl.

Forgot to call a "Reverse"

Sorry got distracted by tattoo mother. Whose entire 21 year relationship with her sun is in tatters because he got a tattoo.

Is the Guardian now just written by people with massive issues around control and entitlement?

The Guardian is increasingly full of madey uppy troll 'letters' like this one. They're no different to the endless DM 'I love my husband more than my kids' pish that gets published daily.

It's just click bait. These people either don't exist or have had their words massively twisted.

I mean really, your PILs piss you off so you take your grievance to the liberal press? What a load of shite.

I can understand disappointment and frustration that the lovely new, more relaxed life they thought they were getting has been blown out of the water. If I was offered a beautiful house and got all excited and started planning for it then I would be gutted to be told actually you can't have it after all, and I imagine most people would be. Hell I get like that nearly every week when I apply for a job and then get rejected (I immediately start dreaming about a better life, having money, being able to move out of my parents even though I haven't got it yet. Stupid but I think it's human nature).

So I can kind of see where she's coming from.

Taking it to a national paper though is stupid on such a monumental scale I'm not even sure how to quantify it. It's not wrong to be upset. It is very wrong to try and guilt PILs and to make out they're evil.

Oh my word! You think you've heard it all and then something new comes along....

Yes, of course, it's perfectly reasonable to expect PILs to give you the house they've probably spent their entire working lives paying for and move in to a rented flat or bungalow - completely giving up the security of having a home for life.

I wonder if PILs have any other DCs? Maybe they thought it unfair to give what would be most people's major asset by far to one child alone and their grabby selfish mare of a DIL.

If a couple can afford to rent a two bed flat in London, I struggle to believe that they can't afford something a bit larger in the Midlands, even with commuting costs. OK, so the Midlands is a large area and we don't know which bit she means but even so, it's nowhere near as expensive as London. As a Midlands dweller, I'm always at the price people pay for small flats in London.

YY Morris and misleading titles on the 'problem pages' plus a recent habit of publishing the responses but not the problem itself (There was an absolute doozie about donor gametes recently, represented as being about 'IVF'). One would almost suspect them of doing it on purpose

God I lol'd so hard at both these articles, the tatoo mum is in a league of her own..

But the grabby dil, wow, so much wrong there.
I don't blame the pil for not wanting the grabby cow in their precious family home, if she divorces their son she's in that house with the children she so graciously provided for them and they are left with nothing!

OMG, people like her really exist? Awful.

Just read tattoo mum. Another

She sounds like my arse of an neighbour. Her mother died recently and her brother suggested to the father that he moves out of his big house and closer to him. She went into meltdown, demanding that he stays, because she wants the house when he dies. he's only lost his DW and she's already thinking about what she's entitled to when he dies. Never mind that he also has sons and he's already said that being in that big empty house, without his wife, breaks his heart.

Brilliant.

"We struggle in this poky flat while every day these people who haven’t worked a day in the last 10 years swim around in space and a garden they don’t need."

Clearly, they worked in the many years before the last decade in order to be able to afford this! What a stuck up, self righteous knobhead- she should be ashamed of herself.