To hate hiding how odd i am

[Faye12345]

Hello all. Hope youre all ok. I wondered if anyone else hates hiding how bizarre they are? Im in a new job and its tiring because im having to adjust my personality to fit in. Anyone else with me?,

I think everyone is a bit odd in their own way. Sometimes I see a lot of similarity between myself and dd who has Aspergers. Although I don't encourage her to hide her oddness.
Do you want to work there?

Having a professional persona is normal. Few people are exactly the same person they are at work as they are at home. I bet you aren't all that weird. Most people have quirky personalities - you just don't see them until you get to know them well.

I think it's pretty normal to have a work persona and a private persona.

How much distance here is between the two depends on what you can cope with.

I know lots of teachers who are straitlaced in the classroom but swear like troopers, do stupid things when drunk, stay up partying in a way which would surprise their pupils.

OP can you give examples of what you have to curb? What do you want to say and do?

I was always useless at office politics and team work and discovered I was seen as odd by other people. I work from home alone now, and though it gets lonely, it is less stressful. Clients love me as I am obsessed with their projects and very focused. But I could never do that and switch back to office bantz.

Hello Faye you have my sympathies. I'm odd too but now I know I'm autistic I'm happy with that, and have severely limited my social interactions. I've been told I "try too hard" so if you're the opposite of that I think you'll be under most radars! But as mentioned above, our work personas are necessarily very different to our home personas. I just don't get "normals" - their conversations bewilder me in that I don't understand how they can waste their own time discussing such inanities. Not much help to you I know but wanted to say you're by no means alone.

Wow, it's like reading about myself. I can't stand being around people I don't know and have always been a social misfit. The few who do know me well say I'm hilarious and are always shocked and disbelieving when I try to explain I'm shy. It really is exhausting to try to bend into the social mold that seems to fit all these "normal" people.

I agree with VulcanWoman (and Dr Seuss) though! The rest of the world will catch up eventually.

People seem to think I'm a bit eccentric. DH likes to think we're an odd family. I think we're all pretty normal and dull.

Don't hide yourself away. Your colleagues will all have their oddities. I do understand being quiet in a new job, not jumping in with both feet, you've got to get to know people a bit better and see how you fit rolewise too.

Beware the "I'm fascinating and different, the rest of them are dullard conformist drones" narrative that some people seem to be guilty of on here..... It's very self absorbed and I agree with a PP; you are likely much less odd than you think and other people are probably more so.

I do wish someone would say what they mean by "odd"

"See I read that as, 'Yes i am a penguin!!!!'"
So did I Worra! I though, yes, that's pretty weird

I'm itching to know what the odd people on this thread are like. Can you give us some examples of what makes you "odd"?

In my workplace we have recently had a new start.

After her interview our editor described her as "bubbly"...

What he should've said was that she talks non-stop, isn't afraid to voice her opinion loudly, is loud and obnoxious and we can't hear ourselves speak when she's on the phone (open plan office)

She allergic to milk, tea, coffee, biscuits, even bring near a tea bag will set off her allergies allegedly

She's hard work. But outside of work.... she's quiet, pleasant, not obnoxious - we have lots of nights out and group things were we meet in a pub - and she's totally fine!

I have no idea what goes on in her head.

My dd is going through assessment for Autism (she's a teenager) but my work colleague is in a whole other league.

My colleagues think I'm weird but only because my interests, friends & life experiences are different from theirs. I live a conventional life; work, kids, husband, pets etc. They do too but they're mostly younger & into different things. I'm not weird, neither are they but we are different from each other in many ways. Nowt wrong with that!

For me,it's my belief system that makes me odd. My opinions on,eg. the monarchy,the church,politics,spirituality,mainstream media,fashionable fads,schooling,the forces,wars,working practices....etc, are not mainstream,and have developed over 3 decades. I'm now at the point where they are far removed from what is considered 'normal'. I do not voice my opinions because I am very aware that they would be insulting to many people,and I wouldn't want that. It would also alienate me at work! Hope that helps bertrandRussel!

I'm an oddbod too, and can relate. I don't know why I'm odd, but I experience it as 'not fitting in'. It makes me very unhappy and I have wasted time and energy trying to 'be accepted'. Somehow it means curbing my personality, but I couldn't really say which bits...

I'm a reader and a thinker, very imaginative and like to do my own thing: I enjoy exploring the healing properties of plants, swimming in the sea in all weathers, walking by myself. I'd rather walk then drive, buy organic than standard, think that Rudolf Steiner has some interesting things to say.

There's someone locally who endlessly describes herself as the 'weird' one. If she knew how lonely it was, she wouldn't be bragging.

Also, for some obscure reason, I don't really enjoy the company of other oddbods, unless they are more accomplished or accepted than me. My closest friends are very normal, but really enjoy the quirky bits of me. I don't hide anything when I'm with them.

Go on, NotOne- share an opinion or two!

"Odd" is hard to define when it's others' perception. For my part all I can say is that when I've been in workplaces and engaged in conversations that are going on I get the side eye and afterwards I know I'm being talked about... similarly in social situations now (I don't work anymore but used to try to socialise where I live) I get the sense that either people are bored with me, and I do understand that I can bang on a bit, or they are keeping me talking just to see what I'm going to come out with next! And I know very well that I'm talked about as this has been reported to me (the "trying too hard" thing). A lady above makes the very valid point that it's a mistake to think in terms of "fascinatingly different/dull conformist" but it's very confusing and even painful to be so at sea with socialising and what's considered normal - and even though we can say there's no such thing as normal until the cows come home I do see that most other people can do this "normal" and personally I don't even know where to start with it.

Noooo Bert! I don't have a flameproof suit!

I agree curiousyellow. It's not that I think other people are dull and boring - I know if I got to know them better, many of them wouldn't be, and I'd find some who share my passions. But, you're expected to have dull and boring conversations, and somehow not stray from that script - so I don't quite know how to get from a to b.

My best friends have been made through activities – music, writing, crafts, work, etc - so that makes sense because you have a ready-made thing to talk about. But I do find it very hard in a playground situation. I know if someone asked how I am and I launched into what's really on my mind – my joy over finding a particular piece of vintage fabric on ebay, whether I should stay playing with the band I joined, the hassle I'm having finding the right AD for my anxiety, recently going NC with my mum, my feminist and atheist opinions on stuff related to the curriculum, my enthusiasm over the latest space probe's findings, etc etc. - I would get that look - that "back away slowly" look. Even really nice, friendly people who would not be mean about it, get that look. I've just learned not to do it, a long, hard lesson. But what does it leave you with? I can't do the surface-level chit chat. I just can't. I hear myself trying and it sounds sarcastic.

From my vast experience - those that say 'I am Crazy me' are usually dull as...and those sitting there being all dull and stuff are the ones with the most outrageously amazing stuff going on.

Noooo Bert! I don't have a flameproof suit!

It's the internet - nothing will happen. We're all ears.

OK- the monarchy- for, against, up against the wall, lizard people.

Can't think of another option...........

And like a PP, I do know that many of my views are unusual, almost unheard of, among people round here.

Once the school had a Christmas play, one of those modern versions, that was blatantly, shockingly racist. I mean me and dp were like Afterwards all the parents were going "Awwwww, wasn't that lovely, so cuuute" etc. I voiced my opinion that it was a bit dodgy in parts - quietly and very tentatively - to one other dad. He looked puzzled and said "but it's just a bit of fun". He couldn't see my point at all and I came across as a humourless overly PC killjoy, which I'm really not.

I've just learned that I really am different from a lot of people around me. It doesn't mean I'm more interesting - but just that it's hard to get that "Yes! I know what you mean!" moment where someone gets you. And you get tired of trying and failing, and getting "the look", so you kind of go back in your shell.

But this thread is making me think. I couldn't be doing any worse, so maybe I might as well brazen it out and just start saying what I think. I'll get talked about and get funny looks but I might find the like minds.

"I'm a reader and a thinker, very imaginative and like to do my own thing: I enjoy exploring the healing properties of plants, swimming in the sea in all weathers, walking by myself. I'd rather walk then drive, buy organic than standard, think that Rudolf Steiner has some interesting things to say."

Honestly? All pretty mainstream, sorry!

Alconleigh, I think you're missing the point. It's not that OP or many other people on this thread are saying they are special and the rest of the world can't rise to meet their snowflakery. It's that they have learned over the years that when they try to fit in, they don't. There are things you are supposed to say and not say, things you are and are not allowed to talk about in certain social groups and for some people (myself included) it can be very hard to fathom what they are and why the taboos are in place over fairly innocuous things, such as your genuine opinion of a film. (I tried once to say why I couldn't stand Slumdog Millionaire to a group of (ex)friends who loved it. I didn't think I was being heavy handed or judgemental, just giving an opposing viewpoint, but no opposing viewpoint was allowed. The atmosphere froze over. There's a lot of this towing the line, having no opinion stuff in office politics.

dancingDuck You've put it better than I could. Often no opposing view points are to be voiced. In a normal setting, my non mainstream opinions would be considered goady and full of fuckery.