To hate hiding how odd i am

[Faye12345]

Hello all. Hope youre all ok. I wondered if anyone else hates hiding how bizarre they are? Im in a new job and its tiring because im having to adjust my personality to fit in. Anyone else with me?,

I'm quirky and eccentric but I do try and hide this at work and I got a new job almost 2 months ago now.

But eg I am assertive at work (maybe more than some others would be) because I don't see the point in bullshitting anymore, only in about 2 areas though and that's it.

There is someone who's been at the firm for 7 years, she's great, a personal assistant/legal secretary like me but she doesn't socialise, hates her job, has a hobby that's different (DJ) and seems quirky, she's also an oversharer too, she's nice and welcoming but as she's so down on her job and the people (I got friendly with her) I'm almost taking a step back due to her moans (not the quirks).

I think you just have to see how things go in this role and let out what you need to, when you need to.

People have always called me "weird" and I do.find it hurtful. I have few close friends and no partner, but i have mainstream interests, politically aware, polite, hardworking, conscious (environmentally and emotionally), generous - but I don't fit in much. I just stay pretty quiet now, and avoid mixing work and socialising - as once people seem to notice that I don't fit in well, I can become a scapegoat/bullied in workplaces.

You should come to my workplace, it's Competitive Weirdness Central. Everyone's constantly trying to outdo each other with how original, non-conformist and bohemian they are.

They think I'm a right old square with my boring husband and child. I just smile and nod.

I think it's fairly normal to suppress your personality a bit at work, especially at first till you've got the measure of the place. After a while you'll meet a few people you think have a few quirks themselves and feel more comfortable letting go a bit.

I would put money on none of you being as odd as you think you are- and everyone else being odder then you think!

Go on, try some of your oddities out on here and see what happens!

madam croquette I think we could have been office buddies - I often think freelance would suit me much more than office life.

I relate. It's SO hard socialising that I avoid it a bit. I also work from home because fitting in is so exhausting. I probably have Aspergers.

I hide my real personality at work as well. Being myself means having lots of opinions, but I'm no allowed opinions in my jobs:(

OMG Durham. Hit the nail on the head! My smile always turns into a rigidly forced one when someone introduces themselves as mad.
It's never endearing.

I agree most people reserve their true personalities at work. For me odd, quirky and too full on just doesn't work . Maybe because I'm an introvert it's not something I can handle. Do you think your family and friends are more reserved/introverted?

I have AS and generally I'm considered a bit eccentric. So I totally get where you're coming from!

I tried being straightlaced when I was training and in my early days of working and it was exhausting and did nothing for my performance.

Being myself is much better. I've finally found a workplace where we're all quite distinctive individuals, but rub along well. I've felt in many places that I just haven't had the right face that fitted. It seems to be a work thing as I've had no trouble making and retaining friends.

Being yourself is important within professional expectations.

Yep same here. Sometimes I just think God I can't be arsed talking to people and force myself to be polite but I think thats normal. I like spending time alone too. I find I struggle with filters and am careful not to overshare and make myself a target

You do know that everyone has a personality, don't you?

I think I'm weird, always have been, I hide it well though, especially at work.

Why do you think you are weird?

I love the odd people, I'm really dull. Some people will like you, some people won't. Don't exhaust yourself with trying to please everyone

We all have different faces for different places. From earliest childhood we adapt and adjust our behaviour according to where we are and who we are with.
For example, how many of us would openly fart in a meeting room full of people at work? I suspect none of us would. But at home, with ones family? Possibly a different story!

I dying to know what you do that makes you weird?

Everyone is different, the world would be boring if we were all the same! There's no such thing as normal.

I would put money on none of you being as odd as you think you are- and everyone else being odder then you think!

I agree. I have a professional persona for work & I am a successful professional, so it isn't a complete lie. But, like many, I have a rich and interesting life outwith work that I have gradually shared with liked colleagues as I have got to know them. But I don't blurt out my 'quirks & oddities' to everyone - because why should they care? They have their own lives/interests and personalities.

I am not sure who can judge what is odd & what isn't anyway. As a PP said, we all have personalities, no one is 'normal'. Normal doesn't exist.

We all do it to an extent. When discussing my student days with some of my colleagues and the sort of things I got up to - which I never thought were particularly extreme - you could have knocked many of them over with a feather.

I find it amusing what surprises other parents, though. It seems if you don't spend weekends swimming with the kids, enjoy shopping, have an admin job or do aerobics it's considered a bit odd (nothing wrong with any of these things, just that they don't apply to me particularly). I don't feel the need to pretend I fit in with the expectations, but I do smile and nod a lot (as others would if I said 'I'm taking DD to a reggae weekender and we can't wait!')

Erm I'm not sure egging you on to be eccentric in a new job is that wise. I think it's better to get a feel for the place first and maintain a level of professionalism and politeness at least while you are finding your feet. Everyone modifies their own behaviour at work to help keep a comfortable working environment. You don't want to alienate people when you still might need help getting to grips with the basics of the job. Within a few weeks you'll find people you get on with and then you can relax more. Quirks are fine but going full on with your eccentricities can be quite selfish at work. Far better for your colleagues to think you're pleasant but a little dull than annoying.

I'm itching to know which industry you are in Juniper. Can you give us a clue?

Yes i am penguin!!!!

See I read that as, 'Yes i am a penguin!!!!'

In which case I agree that's odd and I wouldn't blame you for hiding it from your colleagues.

Especially if you work in an aquarium for example.

I don't think I'm weird but many others do. I'm frequently told so (why they feel that is appropriate I Dont know). I'm also told I'm really funny, except I'm not and I'm not trying to be. I understand the feeling of finding being around people exhausting. After social occasions like work or seeing anyone really my whole body hurts. Only way to describe it is like a feeling of too much. I can barely move and can feel every single part of my body at the same time, noises are too loud and lights are too bright. Its like a complete overload. Hence why I now work from home and avoid going out as much as possible.

Oh penguin! Hello!