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Original poster

DD hates her name

118 replies

lemonbanana · 19/01/2016 15:38

She says it is ugly everyone laughs at it and can't pronounce it and I must hate her as I gave her an ugly name??? Has anybody experienced this, she is 12.

OP posts:
icanteven · 19/01/2016 17:50

The only name I can remember wanting was Bronwyn, because there was a teen novel with a witch in it called Bronwyn and she was beautiful with auburn hair. I thought she was amazing.

My own name was the most popular name in my country the year I was born. THERE ARE SO MANY OF US. I like it now, because it's a perfectly nice, classic name, but I felt it was v dull at the time.

My older daughter has a very old-fashioned name (almost trendy in its dorkiness?) and I fear that she may rebel at some point, but names are so weird and wonderful these days, esp. at her school, so maybe she won't notice too much.

Twinklestein · 19/01/2016 17:57

I was embarrassed of my name when I was your daughter's age - it's long and posh.

I shortened it when I went to senior school - to its root which is unisex and I always liked it.

However, as an adult I got fed up being addressed as Mr so I went back to using the full length name on documents etc to underline that I'm a LAYDEE. It's a beautiful name, I don't mind being called the long version now.

ShhhBeQuiet · 19/01/2016 17:58

I'm known by two very different names and it's simply never an issue. It occasionally confuses people for a moment until I explain that my Dad has always called me by my middle name While my mum uses my first name (they are married Smile ) . My middle name is short and easy to spell and my first name is long, pretty and difficult to spell so I use both names in different circumstances. It sounds complicated but it really isn't.

OP, I'd tell your DD she can use another name if she likes. It's not a problem and she might be surprised at how quickly everyone gets used to it.

Rumplebelle · 19/01/2016 18:00

OP, has your DD had problems with bullying?
I agree with others that it sounds like the hate for her name sounds like a symptom from the bullying which needs to be addressed.

If it is a case of she just really does hate her name, she might grow out of it, she might not. Posts on here show both happen.
I hated my name at that age and felt spelling it with a J would change my life Hmm
I hated it because my birth mother had named me but not actually raised me so I sort of took it out on my name, IYSWIM.

PrimeDirective · 19/01/2016 18:33

Are there any variants or shortened version of the name she could use?

Original poster
lemonbanana · 19/01/2016 18:41

Thanks for the advice, I am still a bit unsure of all this. It was a very weird start to the thread.

She's found the adjustment to secondary school very tough, and unfortunately has been victim of some unpleasant bullying. I'm looking into alternative schools as while I do genuinely feel her school have tried to deal with it, it's the type of bullying that's manifesting itself quite subtly and she has felt that because of her name she stood out and became a target originally and unfortunately she's holding me responsible for this.

There aren't any variants of the name and the only shortening is a sound which none of us like.

OP posts:
CamdenTownie · 19/01/2016 18:54

I hate my name too - I always have done. It's very short, boring and common, a typical 80's name. I always wanted to be Lucy, although I didn't name any of my dd's Lucy Hmm.

Like lots of posters I changed the spelling when I started at secondary school, it didn't last long though and everyone continued to spell it the 'English' way!

I hope you managed to find a solution X

JuxtapositionRecords · 19/01/2016 19:03

The beginning of this thread is like being in a bullying school playground. Now all the cool kids have had their fun with the 'in jokes' I hope op you have got some reassurance from the genuine post.

I was bullied about my name at school. It tore my confidence to shreds and I used to feel sick when the teacher would do register and the bullies would snigger. It seems like a trivial thing for your daughter to get upset about but honestly it made my life hell. Please speak to the school or look for alternative help if you think this is what is happening

Best of luck Flowers

GloriaHotcakes · 19/01/2016 19:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
lemonbanana · 19/01/2016 19:07

I don't want to say Gloria, it may reveal who I am. It isn't a common name.

Thanks juxtaposition, I wish something could be done about troll hunting.

OP posts:
Nataleejah · 19/01/2016 19:08

Address the bullying issue with the school. Or switch schools. Name is just a tip of the iceberg.

Babymouse · 19/01/2016 19:15

Don't most kids who hate their names just ask everyone to start calling them something else?

(The bullying is a separate issue and needs to be dealt with - the name thing is just a distraction from the really issue I think)

emotionsecho · 19/01/2016 19:35

When I went through the 'want a different name' phase (as I said earlier due to reading lots of books with heroines who had exotic sounding names) my mum told me how much she loved my name and why she and dad chose it and that pretty much stopped me overnight from wanting another name.

Could you perhaps tell your dd why you loved the name you gave her so much that you gave her that name? Does it hold a particular significance for you? Is there a special 'story' around the name, or someone who has it who you could tell your dd about? If you instill a sense of pride in her name into your dd it may help.

It's hard because at 12 children want to 'fit in' but in later years an unusual name is actually something that is more admired. There is nothing wrong with being different in fact some of the most successful/remembered people are exactly that because they are/were different, unfortunately at 12 it's not easy to see or believe that particularly when people are laughing at you.

I think this may be the final straw on top of all the other insidious bullying your dd is experiencing. I hope she can come to embrace her name and stick two fingers up to those who are laughing at it/her. Good luckFlowers.

BrushtheHeat · 19/01/2016 19:51

Could it be as simple as using initials op? As in 'D' for, for example, Danni or "CeCe" for a name beginning with C? Maybe Elsie for LC initials? I always think girls with those names are quite effortlessly cool iyswim. Feminine yet kind of feisty. My DDs both have old fashioned names (one of them is now on trend, it's Edith-I hope she becomes a D or Edie- and the other one is very old fashioned indeed and elicits oohs and aahs when people hear it) so I anticipate my girls going through this stage. Bit their names are special to me so I will encourage them to personalise their names using nicknames if they like.
Some derivatives are actually quite dissimilar from their roots such as Tansy for Temperance or Greta for Margaret, Vita for Victoria etc. But still have the essence of that name. Best of luck op, ignore the troll hunters too!

ForalltheSaints · 19/01/2016 19:56

Gideon Osborne felt the same way. Maybe your DD will be the first female Chancellor of the Exchequer!

BrushtheHeat · 19/01/2016 19:59

Yeah, he goes by the name Twunt on my house now.

BrushtheHeat · 19/01/2016 19:59

*in

theelephantknownasnell · 19/01/2016 20:13

Sorry you've been getting a hard time op.

We had something similar to this a little while ago. Dd disliked her first name, she'd disliked it for some time, dd has been using her middle name for around 6/7 months now.

I feel for you and your dd, if she's being bullied, changing her name could just make things harder for her.

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