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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

DD hates her name

118 replies

lemonbanana · 19/01/2016 15:38

She says it is ugly everyone laughs at it and can't pronounce it and I must hate her as I gave her an ugly name??? Has anybody experienced this, she is 12.

OP posts:
GoringBit · 19/01/2016 16:25

There's a lot of bullying in the world.
And a lot on MN.

This.

OP, if you're still around, I'd pick out the not cuntish helpful comments, ignore the rest, then run away from this thread and never look back. Or better, have it nuked.

LagunaBubbles · 19/01/2016 16:26

Is it an easy name to pronounce OP?

BonesyBones · 19/01/2016 16:28

Just wanted to put out there that I had a hugely unusual name (only one recorded birth of it in the country - me!) and I absolutely hated it. I started using a very simple common name at 17 and officially changed it 2 years later. Never regretted it for a second.

MNHQ
DawnMumsnet · 19/01/2016 16:28

Just stopping by to say can we knock it on the head with the references to other recent baby name threads please?

We've checked, and as far as we can see, this OP has nothing to do with the other threads - which is why all these in-jokes (aka troll hunting, ahem) have left her baffled.

Many thanks.

sugar21 · 19/01/2016 16:28

I have 3 first names and a hyphenated last name but you can call me Al

AlmaMartyr · 19/01/2016 16:29

OP - I hated my name at about that age too. Grew out of it eventually. I wanted to use my middle name instead but wasn't allowed. I still wish I had a more unusual name and that I'd changed it when I was younger.

Must be tough for you though, I hope you and your DD find a solution.

MidnightVelvetthe4th · 19/01/2016 16:30

Hi lemonbanana,

Is it possible to elongate or shorten the name at all?

Is it an unusual name?

:)

hellsbellsmelons · 19/01/2016 16:30

Can it be shortened certain ways?
My DD gave herself a completely different version of her name and it caught on very quickly (I hate it).
The only people who call her by her proper name are Family.
She's happy with that.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 19/01/2016 16:33

The responses of people on here have been awful. A parent came to shock horror a parenting site for advice and people completely disregarded that and proceeded to take the piss. You should be ashamed. Stop your shitty troll hunting. In this case it's left someone upset when all they wanted was advice.

What an awful attitude here, it's embarrassing to read some of the comments.

cakedup · 19/01/2016 16:35

I've always hated my name. I was never taken seriously as a child even though I begged my mum/dad to get it changed. I continued to hate it as I grew older and when I was about 20 I gave myself another first name which some of my friends would use. I am now in my 40s and finally I changed by name by deed poll (to the name I picked in my 20s) about 5 years ago.

It's hard to know whether your dd is going through a phase or genuinely hates her name and will continue to hate it like I did.

My only advice is to be supportive. My parents still call me by my birth name and were very offended about my changing it. Which is silly really because it's just a name they picked, I can't help not liking it!

LemonBreeland · 19/01/2016 16:36

Is it an unusual name? I think it is just a 12 year old thing tbh and she will get over it.

MetalMidget · 19/01/2016 16:36

Lemon - could it be that she's getting bullied at school? It might be that her name is unreasonably the focus of it, just because kids can be dicks (I had a friend who was bullied because she played the clarinet!), so that's what she's focusing on.

firesidechat · 19/01/2016 16:37

Names are a bit of a lottery, some like their given name and others hate theirs.

I have a normal, if dated name, that I hate. I quite like the shortened version that everyone uses apart from my parents and siblings use. My husband uses an even shorter version that no one else uses and I like that purely because it is particular to us.

My grown up children have normal names too and they both seem to like theirs.

Sorry I didn't read the whole thread because of the "taat" posts, is your daughter's name especially unusual and does she have an alternative name that she can use instead?

hiddenhome2 · 19/01/2016 16:38

Let me guess, her name is Slmesnaaormticuynepwmgbc?

I'd let her change it if she's struggling with it to that extent.

bodenbiscuit · 19/01/2016 16:38

Absolutely - people have been very rude to the OP. It is very common for people not to like their name. I know people who have changed their name or who use their middle name.

LadyStoicIsBack · 19/01/2016 16:38

ShitBlush

Sorry OP but I genuinely genuinely thought you were the OP of the other thread that many folks on this thread have also unwittingly referred to and you were sock-puppetting. My bad. Here, have some Flowers

Will ask for my post to be deleted.

firesidechat · 19/01/2016 16:40

My mum also hates her first name, but loves her second. I bet if you did a poll 50% would like to have had a different name. 12 is a tricky age and she will probably come to terms with it later (or change her name).

Twinklestein · 19/01/2016 16:41

Ignore the piss-artists OP, they spend too much time online.

I remember a couple of girls who changed their name when they went to secondary schools. One changed from Fanny to Becky for obvious reasons, the other changed from Joanna to Sybille for less obvious ones.

The time to change was when she moved school. It's too impractical to change now. For the moment I would put it down to feeling uncomfortable with herself and her new school. But if she still wants to when she's 18 she can. In the mean time you can call her any nickname she chooses and her friends can call her that too.

Clawdy · 19/01/2016 16:42

Hullygully it is lovely to have you back. Missed you.

AcrossthePond55 · 19/01/2016 16:45

I've always disliked my names (first and middle). It never occurred to me to actually change my them but at your DD's age I acquired a nickname that I loved and still use to this day.

Call her whatever she wants. But I'd put off legally changing her name until she's legally able to do it herself.

officebairn · 19/01/2016 16:49

Haven't RTFT but I was about 10 when I started really hating my name, ended up changing it to a similar sounding name which has stuck with me ever since, I barely recognise being called my birth name these days. If it's going to bother her that much just let her change it, but don't feel bad OP you couldn't have predicted this and you probably love the name!

seafoodeatit · 19/01/2016 16:49

I think there are two issues - (sorry if someone else has already covered this)

  • one is her age, nobody likes being different when going through hormone changes - I had the piss taken out of my name at school! it is becoming popular now as more people are going for 'Victorian' names. This phase won't last forever.

My second issue is that if this is troubling her enough to want to change school then I think the school should be getting involving with tackling the comments she is receiving, I would think this classifies as bullying?

JetSetSleepless · 19/01/2016 16:51

I remember having an argument with my mum when I was about 12 -14 about hating my name. I'm sure I was being teased about it, but kids will tease about anything. Now I love it and I'm proud of being who I am - I don't have a teenage daughter (just a toddler!) so I don't have parenting advice for you - but I do remember being a difficult teenager about the very same thing, so hope that helps.

emotionsecho · 19/01/2016 16:51

I think it's awful that people at school are calling her name ugly and I too wonder if there is more to this and your dd is being badly bullied as she has said she not only wants to change her name but also change schools.

I went through a phase of wanting a more exotic name as a result of reading lots of books with heroines who had unusual names I soon grew out of it but I think for your dd this goes much deeper than a passing fancy.

I hope you can find a solution your dd will be happy withFlowers

kittykarate · 19/01/2016 16:52

For 99% of my life I have liked/not minded my name. But there was that 1% when my friend's kid brother started coming up with nicknames based on it..

for example Smelly Melly (not actually my name). That really made me hate my name in the short term and I wanted it gone.