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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have told her got names are very common at the moment

122 replies

pinksaltlamp · 19/01/2016 08:49

I bumped into a old workmate yesterday, was catching up with her as we haven't seen each other since I left the job.

She told me about her last year, she had a child and moved house. All lovley, then she said the name of her child. First thing I said is "is that a got name", she replied yes and I said " nice, they are really common at the moment". She looked devastated, checked her phone and said she had to get her train.

I keep replaying it in my head and wonder if I really offended her. I didn't mean common as a derogatory term, just as in popular.

Did I say something wrong? She must of known some character from the biggest TV show at the moment is not going to be unique?

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 19/01/2016 08:51

What on earth is a got name?

DisappointedOne · 19/01/2016 08:52

Guessing Game of Thrones.

I think you saying "popular" rather than "common" may have been less upsetting for her.

kelda · 19/01/2016 08:54

Only common on the internet. I have yet to meet anyone or even hear of anyone with a child with a GoT name.

You were a bit rude to try and put the name down like that.

redexpat · 19/01/2016 08:54

I think in this situation it is better to say oh I know a few Xs, its a lovely name. Maybe she thinks you called her name common as in (please excuse the rough terminology) chavvy.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 19/01/2016 08:55

I think you came across as rude. To say her childs name is common is very different to saying it's popular (although that would have been a bit rude too imo) You should have left it after 'nice'.

Leelu6 · 19/01/2016 08:55

yeah, probably should have said 'popular'. it's not Daenyrys (sp?) is it?

iciclewinter · 19/01/2016 08:55

It sounds like she might have taken it the wrong way. Do you have her number so you could text her to say you're sorry if you offended her?

redhat · 19/01/2016 08:55

Yes, you were rude. It was very likely that she would interpret your use of the word "common" as being meant in a negative way.

wigglesrock · 19/01/2016 08:55

Well you could have just said "lovely", or not passed any comment. To be fair its a bit of an arsey comment to make. You didn't mean to be snide but it was a bit. Sort of like if you asked someone where they were going on holiday and you replied with "Christ its supposed to be shite".

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 19/01/2016 08:55

Oh dear, a bit of a 'foot in mouth' moment then?

'Common' was probably seen as a derogatory description by her.

What namd was it?

RiverTam · 19/01/2016 08:56

Yes, that was pretty tactless of you. You should have known that just as she should know that there's a spike in GoT names, though they're stulk hardly two-a-penny.

Rule of thumb - if you can't think of anything nice to say about a name don't say anything at all!

redhat · 19/01/2016 08:56

I know of a couple of Aryas

RiverTam · 19/01/2016 08:57

Stulk??? Still!

Birdsgottafly · 19/01/2016 08:57

You messed up on the way you put it.

It's useful to think ahead, when it comes to a reaction for a Baby name announcement, so you just say something generic and nice.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 19/01/2016 08:59

I haven't watched GoT for ages.

Cersai
Arya
Sansa
Brianne

Can't think/ don't know any others now.

PurpleDaisies · 19/01/2016 09:00

Oops. I think common wasn't the right choice of word and I can understand why she was a bit upset.

WizardOfToss · 19/01/2016 09:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Unremarkable · 19/01/2016 09:01

'Game of Thrones' name perhaps? Like Jon, Tyrion, Arya, Sansa. I think the use of the word 'common' can be a bit fraught.

Leviticus · 19/01/2016 09:05

If you meant popular you should have said popular. Better still, complimented her and kept your thoughts to yourself.

It sounds like you were being a little bitchy and are now trying to justify it.

redhat · 19/01/2016 09:05

Arya (also Aria) was apparently number 59 in the girls name list last year (according to the GOT website)

Original poster
pinksaltlamp · 19/01/2016 09:06

Yes it was very foot in mouth, I'm just going to stear clear of the word common.

I don't have her number, have found her on linked in was thinking about sending an apology.

It was arya, I be met a handful of aryas, one khaleesi and one tyrion. So maybe I didn't even meen popular, more just I've heard of a few people.

I'm thinking about just saying "lovley" in response to everyone I meet. Far less problematic.

OP posts:
whatsoever · 19/01/2016 09:07

I'd be offended if you called my child's name "common" too.

Might as well have said chavvy or tacky or any other not-complimentary variant.

CakeFail · 19/01/2016 09:09

Agree with leviticus that if you meant popular you should have said popular, but even if you had I don't think it was a particularly necessary or nice thing to say... You should have kept your thoughts to yourself really and I have no idea what made you think you needed to comment at all, but you could have said worse.

Fabellini · 19/01/2016 09:10

I can still remember nearly 40 years ago, when I was speaking to a girl at my new school who was trying to be nice to me, she told me she was going to Spain on holiday and I said "it's getting to be really common to go there, isn't it?". I genuinely meant popular but obviously she took it the wrong way, told all her mates, and I was bullied for months and months by them for being so snobby and "up myself".
Poor choice of word op, and now I want to know the name too!

AppleSetsSail · 19/01/2016 09:13

It seems pretty obvious you were rude. Do you not like her?