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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have told her got names are very common at the moment

122 replies

pinksaltlamp · 19/01/2016 08:49

I bumped into a old workmate yesterday, was catching up with her as we haven't seen each other since I left the job.

She told me about her last year, she had a child and moved house. All lovley, then she said the name of her child. First thing I said is "is that a got name", she replied yes and I said " nice, they are really common at the moment". She looked devastated, checked her phone and said she had to get her train.

I keep replaying it in my head and wonder if I really offended her. I didn't mean common as a derogatory term, just as in popular.

Did I say something wrong? She must of known some character from the biggest TV show at the moment is not going to be unique?

OP posts:

LaContessaDiPlump · 19/01/2016 09:14

Ouch. While I would normally think an apology via LinkedIn would be OTT, in this case I'd make an exception. Maybe something like:

"It was lovely to catch up with you yesterday. I wanted to apologise for my foot-in-mouth moment about GOT; I meant to say that the names from the series are popular, which makes sense seeing as they're pretty cool names. I'm really sorry if I hurt your feelings, it was the opposite of my intention!'

Cavaradossi · 19/01/2016 09:14

Yup, you essentially told her her baby's name was downmarket and faddy. Which, in fairness, would be a lot of people's private opinion - God knows, I tried with GoT, but it was woeful and featured some notably silly character names - but they might have managed 'How nice'... Practice your polite smile the next time you meet a baby Khaleesi.

CakeFail · 19/01/2016 09:15

YY to lacontessa's message. I'd send that verbatim.

shovetheholly · 19/01/2016 09:15

Awwwwww, you sound lovely and it was clearly completely unintentional. But I can see why she might have been hurt. (If it makes you feel better- a colleague was once telling me that she was getting life-sized pictures of her kids installed in her hallway - the way she said it was a bit bashful but I misinterpreted this and thought she was joking and I laughed uproariously, only to find that she was deadly serious).

I would just send a brief apology along the lines of 'I feel terrible about what I said about GoT names being 'common'. I meant 'popular' in the sense that these beautiful names are occasionally being used now, but it came out wrong. It was just the first word that came to me, but not what I meant to say at all. Talk about foot in mouth disease! Hope you can forgive me. It was great to see you, and you looked absolutely amazing'.

rollonthesummer · 19/01/2016 09:16

I keep replaying it in my head and wonder if I really offended her.
Yes, you really did. What you said was rude and tactless.

RedMapleLeaf · 19/01/2016 09:24

I'm thinking about just saying "lovley" in response to everyone I meet. Far less problematic.

Or you could just trying being polite and kind!

BatMobile · 19/01/2016 09:28

Ruuuuuuuuuude.

We all know the only acceptable place to pass judgment on other's baby name choices is the MN baby name board

BarbarianMum · 19/01/2016 09:33

Why on earth is it rude to comment that a child's name is popular? Do people really think they've got the only Jack, Ellie, Isobelle or Harry in the country?

Waxlyrically · 19/01/2016 09:34

When I first read this I thought it was rude and a put down but now I've read your reasoning I understand what you were saying completely and can see it was meant well. I'm sure if you explain to her in the same way it'll be forgotten and you can have a laugh about it.

BarbaraofSeville · 19/01/2016 09:40

Barbarian surely you know that any MNetter worth her salt would never give her child a top 10/100/5000 name .

CakeFail · 19/01/2016 09:40

I don't think popular is a rude thing to say but it is unnecessary and sometimes people say it to be bitchy as they privately think the name is overused / unoriginal / boring etc.

BatMobile · 19/01/2016 09:43

I find 'common' more rude than 'popular'.

AgathaF · 19/01/2016 09:47

I'm sure your comment did come across as rude. People can be very touchy (understandably) about criticism over their child's name. I think LaContassa's apology sounds perfect.

Branleuse · 19/01/2016 09:54

yeah you were retty rude

HeavyFrost · 19/01/2016 09:55

I've got very good at the 'how lovely' face. I swear, every under-five in this village is called Harry, Louis or George, or some variant on Isabella (Izzy, Bella/Belle/Lily-Belle etc). There was once talk of a couple calling their son Arlo, but such originality was considered a bit attention-seeking, so they called him George.

I'd positively welcome a little Khaleesi.

LaContessaDiPlump · 19/01/2016 09:56

surely you know that any MNetter worth her salt would never give her child a top 10/100/5000 name

I have cleverly circumvented this by giving them incredibly old-fashioned names which abbreviate to names in the top 5 win!

Karanka · 19/01/2016 10:03

If only my DCs were younger, I'd have a little Davos and Bronn running round the place....

Original poster

pinksaltlamp · 19/01/2016 10:04

Apology sent (-:

I need to get better at my oh lovley face and saying nothing. It is difficult for foot in mouth people.

I've just read that peanut is one of the top names in Ireland for a boy. I'm going there next month, so glad to found this out now so I don't offend anyone else. I would of thought it is a joke.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-33964762

OP posts:

redexpat · 19/01/2016 10:08

Oh good. Lets hope she accepts it.

rollonthesummer · 19/01/2016 10:08

I think if you'd said popular, it wouldn't have seemed nearly as rude, but because you said common, it did.

Obviously, you might have used the word common to mean popular, but it also has another, less positive, meaning.

LuciaInFurs · 19/01/2016 10:10

I think you were inadvertently impolite. I have perfected my 'oh, how lovely', face for 'interesting' names.

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 19/01/2016 10:14

Peanut? I honestly don't know how I'd react if someone told me tgat was their DC name. I'd probably automatically assume it was a nickname & put my foot in it by asking what the 'real' name is

1 of my younger DDs name is common I'm used to being told that now because people think I live in a hole. It was my great great Aunts surname (her first name was awful, she hated it), I used to visit her in Wales every holiday & always said if I ever had a DC they would have the name & it suited DD it just so happened it was a popular time for the name.

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 19/01/2016 10:18

*My younger DDs not 1 of. Don't think I have an extra one

DisappointedOne · 19/01/2016 10:21

I swear, every under-five in this village is called Harry, Louis or George, or some variant on Isabella (Izzy, Bella/Belle/Lily-Belle etc).

My 5 year old daughter has one of the most popular names of the year she was born. She's the only one in her class, and there are only 2 in the whole school.

Ironically another child at her swimming class (5 students) has not only a variant of her popular first name, but the same more unusual middle name too!

NeedACleverNN · 19/01/2016 10:26

I can see why you didn't mean to be rude but yes it was slightly.

Let's hope you don't say anything about the name khaleesi...since it really means the whore of khal

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