To make nanny and DC travel economy?

[BooAvenue]

We are planning a trip to NY in the autumn and plan to take nanny, DD who will be 6 and DS who will be 16 months.

DH and I will be flying business, partially because I am a crap flyer despite flying frequently and partly because we have quite a lot of air miles that we want to make the most of.

The plan is to bring nanny on the 5 day trip so she can help out with the travelling and babysit for us on three of the nights. I've discussed it with her and she's very eager to come, and the plan is she will have 2 days and 2 evenings completely free to do as she pleases, plus TOIL of 6 days. We will of course pay for all hotels/flights/meals out and she's welcome to join in with us on her days off if she wishes. She also gets her own room whilst we have a 2 bed family room.

The difference between economy and club is about 2.5k per ticket, which whilst we are not poor is still a fair chunk of money.

So AIBU to fly business whilst she flies economy? And will DS need his own seat or will he need to go on one of our laps?

My parents always holidayed with us and showed us the world. They were very child focussed and had the attitude that they only really had us for 14-18 years to holiday with so why waste it. They've been married very happily for almost 50 years now and this lack of couple time during our childhood doesn't seem to have done them any harm.

And yy to BudgieGirl too -- you should be sitting close. Forget the quality time alone with DH. Would you not feel concerned if the children were upset or sick and you were nowhere near?

Think of it as quality time with the whole family.

I've flown to San Fran on my own with my 18 mth old on my lap (actually manges to have 2 seats as empty plane) & it was hard work.

How about you, dh & dd & ds are in business & nanny is alone (enjoying the peace !) in economy.

Christ there are some martyrs on here. There's nothing wrong in principle with parents wanting to go away without their kids. My parents split up partly because they never had any time alone as a couple.

I am about this purely because it seems a bit daft taking your kids on holiday when you won't be spending much time with them - what is the point?!

If you generally have a good relationship with the nanny and she has said she'd love to go on holiday with you, and you have the self-awareness to be asking yourself whether or not it's OK, which indicates that you are not a high handed or thoughtless employer, then it is probably OK - with the exception of expecting her to have a heavy 16 month old on her lap for hours whilst simultaneously dealing with an over-excited 6-year old.

I am chuckling at those who are perplexed about the OP not wanting to sit with her kids.

Let's see - travel transatlantic with two squirming, restless, bored/scared/hungry/needing lavatory kids in economy seats

OR

Sip champagne and enjoy peace & quiet in biz class while someone else wrangles the kids and their needs.

Even the most loving parents I know would choose Option 2 99 times out of 100.

I would say it would be the exact other way around, LeaLeander.

Even the most loving parents I know would choose Option 2 99 times out of 100.

Rubbish.

Although 99 out of 100 might prefer the dream of that, the reality is, they have children and would recognise the obligation to look after them and spend time with them if they were bothering to take them away.

My Mum and Dad used to put my DSis and I in economy and they'd sit in business or first on long-haul flights when we were little (ten and sevenish onwards). I remember being quite miffed. On the other hand meant we could watch unsuitable films/ play mariokart unmolested for the whole flight. No nannies involved though she couldn't get permission to leave China.

Totally pointless input but when I was a kid on short and long-haul flights, my brother and I sat in non-smoking by ourselves while my parents sat in smoking. Not cool.

How on earth do you cope with school out nursery trips?

Nursery trips tend not to be on planes and have the factors that mean I would want to sit with my children, like I said, turbulence, oxygen masks etc. Like I said, I know the risks are small, but when it does occur it's horrid (unless the cabin loses pressure and everyone is unconscious I suppose)

DS has been to London himself. Thinking like this doesn't stop us doing anything, but if we're on the same plane anyway we might as well be together.

I have anxiety (can you tell!) like OP and OCD, but I have no idea how business class helps. I'm a fucker for feeling the fear and doing it anyway as I do not want my children to get my hang ups.

Stick them on a boat hun, that takes 5 days so you can have 10 whole days without them bothering you.

Gosh, some very judgemental people on this thread! I think very young children get nothing out of holidays and certainly won't remember them in later life. I also think it is a great idea to have holidays with your OH without the children - helps keep your relationship alive.

OP, just ignore the howls of outrage and accusations of treating your children as second class citizens. I think you should get a seat for your youngest though so that nanny and children have enough room.

Go and have a lovely time!

My 5 yo dd flies all the time with us. She would find it well odd if we were sat separately.

To be fair to the OP, we don't know that she won't be spending much time with the dc on his holiday. Just because the nanny is coming too, it doesn't mean that they won't see the dc at all.

We take our nanny with us on holiday. We may have one afternoon without the children, and one or two evenings (post bedtime routine). The rest of the time, we are all together (or split up if the interests/needs of the dc mean it makes more sense).

Having our nanny along is great - an extra pair of hands when we really need it. We have 3 dc, all under 12, and all autistic. Even the simplest of days out is complicated. Bringing our nanny along means that we can be 1:1 adult and child all the time. Even things like grabbing lunch at the café at the zoo, for eg, are so much simpler with another adult. One person juggling 5 meals (6 now that nanny comes too) whilst the other sits with 3 children who all struggle with waiting is no fun. At least now we have one person waiting and two fetching meals/cutlery/whatever.

Honestly, just because a nanny is coming along, it doesn't mean parents loving the high life and nanny stuck with all the children. Sometimes, hiring someone to make your life easier means just hat - an extra pair of hands to help out. Another adult present to ensure that family life can run as smoothly as it ever will in our family.

Hey lealeander, there are the parents of the little emperors and then there are the rest of us (who would jump at the chance presented to the OP)- i know whose offspring i'd prefer my kids to hang out with!

You're not making nanny do anything, though, are you? a) she can say no b) she's getting a trip to NY out of this and c) she's getting TOIL. If it's not a problem for her, go for it.

At 16 months both my kids would have screamed blue murder if I had disappeared off into business class and left them with a nanny not that we have a nanny

I guess if the nanny says she's happy with it then that's ok. I just wonder what your plan is when one of the kids starts crying for their mum or dad.

Could you ask your nanny? Perhaps even offer £500 for her doing it in economy? Def a seat for the baby though.

We went to Canada when dd was 2. She still remembers things we had forgotten 3 years on. And even if she didn't, she had a fab time on the holiday. You don't just do things for what they will remember - it's the pleasure of the moment.

I don't actually object to the op having a holiday with her dh. I just think she could give her kids a wider experience when she does take them away.

I think this is what that blonde woman that sells cerial and can't present and her floppy haired husband did.

Thanks for the replies - seems pretty much 50/50 which isn't helping!

To clarify, children will be with us all 5 days, with nanny accompanying 3 days. This is more for the fact I am sure she will enjoy the trips were going to do and I'd feel mean asking her to fly across the world and then leaving her to do her own thing for 5 days.

The main reason we are asking her to come is because of the flight and because I want someone I trust to look after the kids whilst DH and I eat out in the three particular restaurants we want to eat in.

It's also to test the waters for potential longer trips/further afield.

My experience of business class and mixed parties is that the flight staff usually allow a bit of swapping especially if the flight isn't full. I think the 16 month old should be on a business class lap. I think the six year old and one adult should be in economy. I think you should all share the children on the flight and all some of the nice bits. That is fair on all three adults and on both children.

Let me get this right. Your nanny works 5 days as per her usual contract, she's getting 2 of those to explore NY for free, then getting another 6 days paid leave for doing it?

This, what Youvegot said.

It's a no-brainer, YANBU. Don't listen to anyone telling you differently, do what's best for you and your kids.

(I can only dream of first class or a nanny btw)