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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make nanny and DC travel economy?

724 replies

BooAvenue · 17/01/2016 19:10

We are planning a trip to NY in the autumn and plan to take nanny, DD who will be 6 and DS who will be 16 months.

DH and I will be flying business, partially because I am a crap flyer despite flying frequently and partly because we have quite a lot of air miles that we want to make the most of.

The plan is to bring nanny on the 5 day trip so she can help out with the travelling and babysit for us on three of the nights. I've discussed it with her and she's very eager to come, and the plan is she will have 2 days and 2 evenings completely free to do as she pleases, plus TOIL of 6 days. We will of course pay for all hotels/flights/meals out and she's welcome to join in with us on her days off if she wishes. She also gets her own room whilst we have a 2 bed family room.

The difference between economy and club is about 2.5k per ticket, which whilst we are not poor is still a fair chunk of money.

So AIBU to fly business whilst she flies economy? And will DS need his own seat or will he need to go on one of our laps?

OP posts:
ShhhBeQuiet · 17/01/2016 20:31

I've travelled business or first with my DC for years. There were very often other kids. However, now my DC are adults I'm horrified when I'm flying and there are kids in the same cabin. Grin Wink

OP, I think it's ok but your reasons are a bit flimsy Confused. There is nothing wrong with just saying you don't won't to travel with your DC and want to enjoy business class with your DC.

I'd say 16 months is the absolute worst age for a DC to fly and I would feel sorry for your nanny having to deal with the youngest especially if she/he doesn't have her own seat. Would it really be that bad if your DH and you shared the baby between you and you left your Eldest with the nanny. That seems much more practical and would be inexpensive. 1 DC between you and your DH is nothing and you can still enjoy your flight.

Could you leave the baby at home with grandparents or someone else?

LHReturns · 17/01/2016 20:31

PandasRock absolutely! Our nanny gets hours and hours off every day because I love being with my DS. Truthfully most of our holidays are beach / pool holidays, or visiting family...so I have no need to be away from him for long.

But having her there is fabulous e.g she can take him in for lunch and lunchtime nap - means we can go for our long boozy lunch....or she can take him in for supper while we enjoy sundowners, before coming in to do his milk and story.

As I work full time this is far far more time than I have with him during the week, and for me is the perfect family holiday.

wickedwaterwitch · 17/01/2016 20:32

Op, just thought I'd tell you that I asked my children (18 & 12) and Dh about this over supper and they all agreed YANBU. The children also said the kids wouldn't remember the flight in 2 months.

When I said ok, so they could all fly economy later this year and I'd go first though, they howled. Smile

Original poster
BooAvenue · 17/01/2016 20:33

Can I also clarify that we do around 3 shorter child friendly trips a year where we go to CP/Disney etc and nanny doesn't come.

OP posts:
LeaLeander · 17/01/2016 20:34

My parents vacationed without us - long weekends, etc. - almost literally from birth. My grandparents and a couple of younger aunts loved having us come to stay even as toddlers so we never developed much in the way of separation anxiety. I can't imagine us screaming for mom on a plane if we had a known caregiver with us.

When I was little our next-door-neighbor was a flight attendant and she thought it was amusing that I could speak clearly at a young age, so she used to take me to the airport to have lunch with her colleagues and some pilots - I'm talking three-years-old or less, back when airports had nice restaurants and there was no security, you could go there just for a drink or a meal. (1960s) My aunts used to take us all over the place - zipping about in their Volkswagen Beetle to shopping, friends homes, hair salons, amusement parks, etc. - almost like a pet now that I think of it, LOL. Not all kids are uber-dependent on their parents even in unfamiliar situations.

Cavaradossi · 17/01/2016 20:34

Even the most loving parents I know would choose Option 2 99 times out of 100.

I'm completely unapologetically Option 2. Or would be if I had a nanny and enough airmiles Grin..

And I'd have been more than happy with the trade-off of free time during an all-expenses-paid trip to NY in my au pair days, assuming the toddler and six year old aren't demons and have their own seats. (I used to have to share a room with the children on holiday, which the OP's nanny isn't.)

Pommes · 17/01/2016 20:35

You mentioned your DH has been away for 3 months, doesn't he want to see his DC? Maybe you and the Nanny could sit in business; she can calm your nerves and he can enjoy quality time with his children...

TheWomanInTheWall · 17/01/2016 20:36

YANBU

Agree that the toddler needs his own economy seat and you should pay any extra for seat selection so they are altogether. This is better for the toddler than a business class lap, even without any concerns on anxiety transmission.

A six year old is perfectly capable of going to the toilet on a plane on her own.

Nanny can take toddler with her to toilet just as I assume she does if out at a cafe or play group.

PurpleHairAndPearls · 17/01/2016 20:36

I once knew someone (in a business capacity, not a friend) who bought their own and family's food from Marks and Spencer, and their nanny's food from Kwik Save They were very, wealthy. And a complete and utter tool.

Let us know how the conversation goes with your nanny won't you? And what will you say to your DC when they ask why you aren't sitting together (serious question, what would you say?)

wannabestressfree · 17/01/2016 20:36

Mmmmm like that's going to happen Hmm

onlyslightlyinterested · 17/01/2016 20:37

I'm assuming you're not forcing this poor girl to come on this all expenses paid holiday?? For the love of god, she's a nanny. It's her job to look after the kids. You don't get a dog, and bark yourself... Grin. As a nanny myself, I'd have no problem being asked to do this, and no problem saying no if it didn't suit.

TheWomanInTheWall · 17/01/2016 20:37

"You mentioned your DH has been away for 3 months, doesn't he want to see his DC? "

They are about to spend several days together though! Time on a flight isn't quality time, it's "get through it" time; all bets are off on screen time etc. TBH, that's just as true in business and first.

wannabestressfree · 17/01/2016 20:37

That was in response to pommes......

Andrewofgg · 17/01/2016 20:38

YANBU - but you will have to wait for her to disembark and go through immigration together.

If you can - fly via Dublin. While you are on the ground you clear US Immigration and Customs and arrive domestic. Worth the extra time and faff not to have to queue at the other end.

Devora · 17/01/2016 20:40

YANBU Smile

Gwenhwyfar · 17/01/2016 20:40

"I have had it happen once in where I was travelling and the mum and child travelling first class and she asked me to explain to 3 year old why I wasn't sitting with them shock

Funnily enough the last of any respect I had I completely lost there and then!"

She made you explain what was her decision? Sounds awful. Children shouldn't see their nannies as being inferior to them.

DixieNormas · 17/01/2016 20:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheWomanInTheWall · 17/01/2016 20:41

Which is why paying for seat selection makes sense - get her as close as possible to the front of her section to minimise the wait for her.

And take as much of the hand luggage as you can - see if you are allowed to keep the buggy as hand luggage in business so you can pop it up and wait for her on the air bridge.

nbee84 · 17/01/2016 20:41

As a nanny I would be fine with this - I would explain about using airmiles to upgrade yours and dh's seat.

I would want your 16month old to have her own seat - a lot more practical to have the space to entertain 2 children for 7 hours or so, would be difficult to do with the little one on my lap.

Merguez · 17/01/2016 20:41

I once knew someone (in a business capacity, not a friend) who bought their own and family's food from Marks and Spencer, and their nanny's food from Kwik Save

That's not nice. It's also completely irrelevant to this thread.

Samantha28 · 17/01/2016 20:44

Why don't you put DH , nanny and the kids in economy together ? You didn't say your DH was a nervous flyer, so I'm guessing he doesn't need to travel in business . Then Fh can have his own toddler on his lap and you will save £2.5k.

You and your DH will have 5 days to spend time together , so the few hours on the plane won't make any difference . And it will give your children time with their father, after he has been away for 3 months .

Simple .

rosewithoutthorns · 17/01/2016 20:45

I have a problem with "make" a nanny.
I have a problem with people that have so much money that they believe others are still servants.

KP86 · 17/01/2016 20:46

The poster who said DS won't get a meal if he isn't in his own seat is completely incorrect. You can request infant or toddler/child's meals for kids under 2.

NerrSnerr · 17/01/2016 20:46

I have a 16 month old, she will sit on my lap for the maximum of two episodes of Peppa pig before she wants to get down. She would spend a lot of the time trying to walk around, stealing everyone's pens and earphones and generally doing whatever we don't want her to do.

I think you need two adults to the two children, I know some people fly with multiple children alone but there will be three of you on the plane.

Toughasoldboots · 17/01/2016 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.