To make nanny and DC travel economy?

[BooAvenue]

We are planning a trip to NY in the autumn and plan to take nanny, DD who will be 6 and DS who will be 16 months.

DH and I will be flying business, partially because I am a crap flyer despite flying frequently and partly because we have quite a lot of air miles that we want to make the most of.

The plan is to bring nanny on the 5 day trip so she can help out with the travelling and babysit for us on three of the nights. I've discussed it with her and she's very eager to come, and the plan is she will have 2 days and 2 evenings completely free to do as she pleases, plus TOIL of 6 days. We will of course pay for all hotels/flights/meals out and she's welcome to join in with us on her days off if she wishes. She also gets her own room whilst we have a 2 bed family room.

The difference between economy and club is about 2.5k per ticket, which whilst we are not poor is still a fair chunk of money.

So AIBU to fly business whilst she flies economy? And will DS need his own seat or will he need to go on one of our laps?

Fluffy24 Car accidents are more common, luckily my kids don't drive yet so I'm there with them via default. Also, car crashes can be more instant for want of a better word, no oxygen mask, turbulence, plummet and eventual fight for survival against hundreds to the doors.

On the child free thing - I don't see any difference in what the op plans and those holidays people go on with kids clubs, evening babysitters etc. I never had the opportunity to take one of these, but had I then I'd have done so - it sounds ideal!

YANBU to fly business while nanny and kids fly economy. And you're being very reasonable with the experience she will have in NY - own room, toil, time off to explore.

I do think it's a lot for her to have both kids for the whole flight. What if your daughter gets scared while your son is restless? It will be hard for the nanny to cope with both and dd may have a bad experience that puts her off flying. I think you need three seats in economy and you and dh pop back to sit with her and dd/ds regularly.

The plane going down is neither here nor there - is so unlikely I wouldn't consider it an issue and if it does happen, nothing you do or don't do will make a difference. You'll either live or die, it's out of your hands! (Sorry that's not great for your fear of flying! )

I was a nanny, my employer did this when we went to Florida - it was fine. I was happy enough to be going to Florida for free (though I got bronchitis when I was there and she had to pay for the doctor and I was for for nothing, so didn't do much)

As far as I was concerned it was my job to have the kids on the flight, mum and dad went business, I had the kids in coach. I can't recall it being a problem for me at the time.

It depends how long you've had the nanny and how close the kids are to her. Are they likely to get upset when you leave them to get to business class? I do think it would be nicer for the youngest and your nanny too if baby has his/her own seat. I imagine the baby would get sweaty and uncomfortable on nanny's knee.

If I could afford to fly business class I'd be more than happy to leave my lot in economy, even though they're aged between 20-25yrs.

I agree with MissBattleaxe and others that it would be nice for your nanny and your DS if you got a seat for your DS - sitting on nanny's lap for 7 hrs seems a lot to ask of them both.
This will also seem like a generous gesture from you by the nanny - that you are considering how to make things comfortable for them all too.
I've worked as a nanny BTW, but didn't get the opportunity to travel with either of the families. Most people will definitely see that as a nice bonus I think
Hope you all have a great trip!

No I think it is fine you have money so enjoy it !

no fluffy doing your own thing is fine in moderation.

Taking the kids but treating them like second class citizens is not fine IMO.

You're either all going away or it's an adult trip- I can't be doing with all this 'I need time with my DH' to justify such a difference in travelling style.

Also that means if your six year old needs the toilet all three have to get up and go, and cram in the small toilet. What a faff. I know single mums do it. But, she isn't a single mum is she! If you decide to do this, a seat for your ds is a must.

Personally I'd probably of just taken my six year old and left the baby at home with the nanny, but then that would mean no alone time for you and your DH eh so no benefit to you.

And good point by pp - what about when she goes to the loo?

As a nanny, I would have no problem with this 'holiday'. However I would want a seat for the toddler and I would strongly suggest that the parents stay up front for the whole flight. Mum popping backwards and forwards every so often to see if we're ok would just unsettle the kids and make keeping the kids calm and entertained very difficult for the nanny.

Oh for fucks sake, go for it OP, if your Nanny is happy get on and book them into economy.

I'm sure she'll have a great time in NY.

I've flown business when I wasn't on business - should I call 101 and report myself

I think it's fine for the nanny to fly with the kids as long as you buy a seat for DS. I think that is really a minimum.

For those suggesting the OP/DH/nanny 'swap out', that would be frowned upon by the cabin staff.

I do wonder though, as you're comfortable holidaying without the DCs anyway, why you don't just go with DD and leave the baby behind with the Nanny?

"Treating the kids like second class citizens" FFS kids don't need leg room.

As soon as my kids are old enough I am booking them into economy while I travel business.

I completely disagree and think that OP has it spot on !

The absolutely rock solid marriages I have known in the last 30 yrs have ALL been amongst couples who focus on each other as a priority. The strongest ones being where one parent works away and time together is extra precious. There are obviously many pro's and cons of this life style. The main pro is the amount of money one or both parents can earn, allowing them to have frequent, child centred breaks such as the ones the OP has mentioned. (Most of my friends had bloody centre parc/ski holiday season tickets when mine were young... ) the downside was that mum was often left alone with kids for weeks on end, but this was tempered by sufficient income for live -in nanny or au pair, leaving mum free to enjoy a fairly relaxed lifestyle, or pursue equally high flying career with commensurate income.
Focussing on children at the expense of each other, is a) completely normal and b) the fastest way for your marriage to fail. Nothing wrong with making sure that the rock your family is built on, remains in tact, and if you can afford to do that whilst children are looked after by someone they know and trust, then in my mind it's a win win. IMHE women who live this kind of life are not detached from their children. Far from it, they are very very hands on, when they are with them.

It's a life few of us can dream of, but it has its compensations. As a twenty something I was a nanny to such a family. I would have been thrilled to go to New York , have six days toil and 2 days 2 nights free of a five day trip. All for having to look after children that I already knew and loved being with ? Nothing would have stopped me !

You say you are going for five days, and that the nanny will babysit for three evenings. You then said she will get 2 days and 2 evenings free. What will she be doing for the other days? Trailing round with you, or looking after the kids whilst you do your own thing?

I can sort of see why, if you can afford it, it would be nice to take a familiar child carer on holiday to help with the travelling, and to allow you some adult focused time in the evenings. What does baffle me is the idea that you won't even be taking care of the children during the day.

Buy youngest a seat. Aim for bulkhead/door row for them for extra leg room for nanny and floor space for kids.

Spare a thought for expat mums in economy flying home with 2/3/4 kids, ALL of my friends fly home for the summer without their husbands and you just get on with it.
The nanny is being paid, the kids know her, very little chance of any thing going wrong. Parents will be available to relieve her periodically. There will be jealous expat mums on that plane. Enjoy it.

OP, if you are a nervous flyer how will you feel being on a plane and knowing your children are on there too, but out of sight?

I appreciate I have totally missed the point of this thread. My DH is a nervous flyer too and I know he feels better with DC in sight, knowing they are safe/calm/happy.

Secondly, is this your daughter's first flight? Don't you want to experience it with her?

It's fine to do this, agree you will feel less guilty if you buy the baby a separate seat. But it is a bit weird to never do a long holiday with your dcs, yes, holidays with dcs can be challenging but they are also imo/e what really bonds you as a family.

Our nanny regularly travels with us and often she is in premium economy whilst the rest of us are in business/first. She may not have such a comfortable seat but at least she has peace and quiet for the journey which is essential on a long haul flight if she is going to have to work the next day.

There is no fucking way that I would leave my nanny alone in economy with the kids whilst DH and I swan around in first.

And FWIW people rarely bat an eyelid at kids in business. We flew back from South America a couple of weeks ago and more than half the business class cabin were kids. It was unusual - crew said they'd never seen anything like it - but it made for a fun journey home.

OP, have you checked to see if there is availability (in whatever class) to get seats your frequent flyer miles? It can sometimes be pretty difficult to get more than one seat. I would suggest keeping the 16 month old with you and let your nanny just have the 6 year old to look after. Any children, including infants, have to stay in economy if they are booked there. They cannot just come up to see you in business class.

I get that you are a nervous flyer, but allowing your nanny to look after two young children whilst you and your husband Lord it up in business class would piss me off, she isn't your skivvy, they are your children. I can't help but feel your nervousness gives you an excuse to shirk parental responsibility for 7hrs. Only your 6yr old would notice if you were nervous, so why don't you have your DS and leave your DD with nanny.

What time are your flights? If you get night ones it may make the nannies life easier.

So if anything above premium economy is BUSINESS, and for CERY IMPORTANT BUSINESS PEOPLE, as a pp insists, how come BA call it ClubWorld, and Virgin call it Upper Class, and so on.

Utter bollocks.

People travel in those classes. They buy tickets, and they take their seats. Those VERY IMPORTANT BUSINESS PEOPLE would do well to remember they are just on public transport, where, shock horror, other members of the public, even small ones, may also choose to travel.

I've flown with my dc in business/club/whatever many times.

The only time there has ever been a problem was when an absolute arse of a businessman refused to swap seats so that my 2 year old could sit next to me rather than out of sight (travel agent cock up meant our seats were not reserved as they should have been). All fine and absolutely his choice to not swap seats. But he then got extremely nasty with my 5 year old (who has severe ASD) when she got upset as she could hear her sister crying for me.

Obviously people make a lot of fuss about different seats on aeroplanes but it will be easy to downplay it to the DC really I think - it's just sitting in a different part of the same plane. Not really that big a deal.