To make nanny and DC travel economy?

[BooAvenue]

We are planning a trip to NY in the autumn and plan to take nanny, DD who will be 6 and DS who will be 16 months.

DH and I will be flying business, partially because I am a crap flyer despite flying frequently and partly because we have quite a lot of air miles that we want to make the most of.

The plan is to bring nanny on the 5 day trip so she can help out with the travelling and babysit for us on three of the nights. I've discussed it with her and she's very eager to come, and the plan is she will have 2 days and 2 evenings completely free to do as she pleases, plus TOIL of 6 days. We will of course pay for all hotels/flights/meals out and she's welcome to join in with us on her days off if she wishes. She also gets her own room whilst we have a 2 bed family room.

The difference between economy and club is about 2.5k per ticket, which whilst we are not poor is still a fair chunk of money.

So AIBU to fly business whilst she flies economy? And will DS need his own seat or will he need to go on one of our laps?

Totally fine.
Especially if you are sharing ds between you on your lap x

OP, you are definitely not being unreasonable. Sounds like a good solution all round and I would do it without hesitation. (And I always feel "safer" in business, simply because there is usually a clear/easy path to the exit and the back of someone else's seat isn't 6 inches from one's face...)

In your position I would buy DS a seat, to minimise frazzled nerves. If you and DH are happy, the nanny is (more than) happy and the kids are excited, it's none of anyone else's business. I suspect the green eyed monster features in a lot of comments on here.

I would probably not take DC in the business cabin. I know that people do this and with well-behaved kids, it's fine. I think that shouting/screaming kids should be removed, however - purely out of respect to the adults who may wish to work and/or have paid several thousand pounds for the privilege. (DH and I are frequent fliers - mostly in cattle class, but we fly business for an expensive treat. It's not a treat with a fractious baby or child).

Why are people stretching for comparisons with single parents? As another poster, a single parent doesn't have those options, but that's not the OP's fault. The OP has enough money to fly to NY and bring a nanny with her, another parent on the scene and the airmiles to upgrade herself and DH. She (possibly disingenuously because she intuited the shriekingly self-righteous responses she would get) has given various reasons about a fear of flying/a desire to see her DH for her choice of flying Business, but she doesn't need reasons.

She can just choose to fly business, as long as the children are reasonably likely to be well-behaved - and, if there's trouble, that the nanny knows she can call on a parent - have a seat each, and the nanny is agreeable and fairly compensated, which she sounds as if she is. I'd have taken an employer's hand off for two free days and evenings solo in NY, with flights, food, and hotel paid for!

I honestly don't see what is 'shitty' about it. The handwringing about the parents not spending enough time with their children seems to come from the same place as complaints on a thread about only going to Disneyland Paris for a day out of a longer stay in Paris, where lots of posters frothed martyrishly about how parents needed to only go on completely child-centred holidays, and derive their pleasure from watching their offspring greet Mickey Mouse. Which is fine, go for it, but other people do it differently.

I suspect the green eyed monster features in a lot of comments on here

I'm not jealous of anyone who can fly Business Class and leave their kids in economy. I would hate not to share the excitement of the flight with them, and hate it more if someone else was doing that instead of me.

This thread has made me laugh SO much. Oh, the sanctimonious judgey jealous parents!!

YANBU.

In fact, you're being brilliantly generous!

If we had a nanny I'd definitely do it. We also holiday without our dc (SHOCK HORROR ) and I fly Premium or above because I'm a nervous flyer too- it's a million times better for me.

Ignore the internet. Have a fantastic holiday

"I think that shouting/screaming kids should be removed, however -"

Where to?

#ist world problems

Should nanny and tabitha fly first class or coach

Lol

Could I buy my new rain coat from boden or joules

What a dilemma

I read the thread title and thought 'nanny' alluded to the OP's mother. Somewhat relived to find out it isn't!!

I'd never do this (though I'm never going to be in a position to do it). I'm just not one for segregation, especially where one is considered superior to the other. But the OP seems to feel business class helps her cope with flying and she needs time with her dh alone.

My YABU is because I don't see why the same consideration can be imparted on the nanny or children. The unreasonable part in my opinion is the 'I find flying stressful so...' But not considering if her dc might be stressed by the new experience of flying, nor seeing to give a fig if the Nanny is stressed or uncomfortable.

I know a few people who would do this and in both cases the children seem more comfortable and happy with their nanny. Which strikes me as sad. Though it might be in appearance only. Hopefully.

I would hate not to share the excitement of the flight with them, and hate it more if someone else was doing that instead of me.

I think that's very much down to personal experience, though, MissBattleaxe. I doubt we're in the OP's economic circumstances, but circumstances have meant my three year has flown regularly since he was about three months old, and isn't remotely excited about flying (other than a current mild obsession with flight safety cards in the seat pocket) because it's something he's so used to.

I would never have my children anywhere other than with me. I had my children and I chose to bring them up myself. My kids have only ever done long haul flights (except a trip to Lapland last year) only ever in economy and once in premium economy. They've always been impeccably behaved. I can't imagine dumping them on someone else. But that's just me.

I haven't read all 21 pages but I would say it's not fair for her to have both kids on her own when there's the two of you chilling in business class! she could have older ds and you and dh can have the baby on your knee for the whole flight - not to share with her there's two of you one of her? Having said that I wouldn't intentionally seperate myself from my dc on a flight even though they drive me mad! can't you all just sit together in economy - save the air miles for another time? Can't you use air miles in economy? Sorry I don't know about these things!

The woman I meant removed to the cargo hold the economy cabin, the space at the end of the cabin or away from people as much as possible. I don't mind screaming kids in economy but when I fly business on Emirates I think it's reasonable to want to enjoy the menu, wine and ambience. It's a bloody expensive treat and I don't think it's unreasonable to expect people to pipe the fuck down.

Moln the only thing that would STOP me doing the same as the OP is the fact that our childcare will be provided by my DM and she would throttle me!

There are unlikely to be two free seats together in economy though.

And the space at the end if the cabin is usually a thoroughfare for airline staff or to the loos.

It's reasonable to request parents/responsible adults to do their best to calm their children but not to chuck them out of seats!

Still going I see?

OP, while I think it's a wind up, here's some serious advice l....

if we were doing your trip, I would have the family in business class and the nanny in economy. fans the flames of the threadYou can have tablets switched on, on take off now, so we tend to stuff the iPads with their favourite programmes and DVDs and give our dcs each a headphone. You can do that for your 6yo. They will either do that or try and watch what's going on outside. If relaxation music will help you, stick some on your phone/tablet and put your headphones on. I would then have your baby strapped to your dh. If your 6yo is suitably entertained (both BA and Virgin have full programme of choices for kids) they should be no problem at all.

By the way I would go BA rather than Virgin. While Virgin's upper class is nicer than BA's business class, the formation of the seats in BA is better for family travel.

Also, think about the timing of the flight. If we are going to a non-holiday destination, we tend to book the flight for when other passengers are least likely to be working.

Finally, if you're coming back on an overnight flight best for your 6 yo to be in business class with the flat beds. We turn the seats into beds as soon as the lights go and our dcs fall asleep straight away for the whole journey now.

And as others have said it is normal for nanny and kids to fly economy (we have never taken our nanny) but the age between 12 months and 3 years is the worst for flying with kids and so I would never inflicted that on our nanny.

If the child is in economy they are not going to let him go and sit in business.

You want to do it so do it - just stop with the silly excuses and get your ds his own seat

OldFarticus I actually know someone who wanted to upgrade her, and her dh, to business class while her parents stayed with their children in economy. The parents were paying for the entire trip too. It didn't go down well.

Moln now that is rude! I can imagine it going down like a poo sandwich in our family! I have flown economy in similar situations to the OP's as a "junior" staff member with my boss (and sometimes clients) in business. It didn't bother me in the least. Family is a bit different though and that is pretty offensive if the DGP's were paying!

The woman I think the onus is on parents in business class to remove the source of any disturbance from the cabin out of consideration, yes. It's certainly what I would do. As I said, I have no problem with well-behaved kids in business class but since it is about 10 times more expensive to fly business then I do expect a bit more consideration from parents regarding the sights/sounds/smells of their DC. In my experience (flying at least twice a month for the last 3 years) it's the cabin crew who encourage the noisy kids (or adults!) to be removed if they are causing annoyance. It rarely bothers me because I go deaf within about 20 seconds of take off, but DH has complained about noisy children in business (and got a shitload of airmiles for his trouble - enough to upgrade to First on the return flight!)

As your DH will have been away from his DC's for 3 months would it not be better to go on a family holiday rather than one which is more adult focused?

flat

Why be a nanny?

£35k pa and free trip to nyc- not many jobs as good as that these days!

Premium Economy on Virgin is very nice and not all that pricey OP...couldn't you all fly premium and use the air miles another time when it's just you and DH?
My DD is grown up and we're flying to NY as a family in November.
I can be a bit nervous on take off and I know I'd feel alot worse if we were all separated on the plane....and she's in her 20s!! We're all flying Upper by the way OP ( sorry, that was too tempting)

In fairness to me, we spent all of DDs childhood holidaying in the midlands in my ILs caravan because we were skint!!....lovely as that was

Totally fine for the nanny and children to fly economy whilst you and DH fly business.

However you are being super U not to pay for a seat for the little one - it will be very hard for the nanny on her own with one on her lap and one on a seat. Much better if they have a block of three seats.