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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make nanny and DC travel economy?

724 replies

BooAvenue · 17/01/2016 19:10

We are planning a trip to NY in the autumn and plan to take nanny, DD who will be 6 and DS who will be 16 months.

DH and I will be flying business, partially because I am a crap flyer despite flying frequently and partly because we have quite a lot of air miles that we want to make the most of.

The plan is to bring nanny on the 5 day trip so she can help out with the travelling and babysit for us on three of the nights. I've discussed it with her and she's very eager to come, and the plan is she will have 2 days and 2 evenings completely free to do as she pleases, plus TOIL of 6 days. We will of course pay for all hotels/flights/meals out and she's welcome to join in with us on her days off if she wishes. She also gets her own room whilst we have a 2 bed family room.

The difference between economy and club is about 2.5k per ticket, which whilst we are not poor is still a fair chunk of money.

So AIBU to fly business whilst she flies economy? And will DS need his own seat or will he need to go on one of our laps?

OP posts:
AlisonWunderland · 18/01/2016 11:39

If the toddler has a seat, there is at least somewhere for the parent to sit if they deign to leave Business class to check on the underlings

AppleSetsSail · 18/01/2016 11:42

I don't think I would do this because it has for unknown reasons failed my smell test - but I don't think there is anything specifically wrong with it.

Personally, I would compress the trip a bit and leave the kids & nanny at home.

user838383 · 18/01/2016 11:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ravenmum · 18/01/2016 11:57

I can't see what the problem would be with anyone travelling economy; it's not like you are making them ride in the cargo hold or something. The only trouble would be if she if she's not a nanny, but an inexperienced, untrained au pair whose job description does not involve her taking on full responsibility for the children in a difficult situation.

Birdsgottafly · 18/01/2016 12:06

"" Also nanny isn't a parent and in an emergency would probably save her own skin first. ""

If a plane goes down (Sorry OP), who lives and dies is a matter of luck.

However, like a teacher, the Nanny and the Cabin Crew would take their responsibilities seriously.

My DD trained in Childcare, she's now going to Uni to eventually become a HV, her friends have taken up Nanny posts, some haven't been successful and a few of them Dream of this sort of Post.

They love their roles and are happy with the Wage Structure. They aren't 'young girls' being exploited.

We all don't aspire to going to Uni and working 'in the City', there's a very patronising attitude on here towards people who are happy to choose jobs that are Min Wage and just above, because it fits in with what they want to do, or their lifestyle.

It makes sense to book a Nanny when one Parent is away, it means another consistent Carer and there's people who want the position.

I agree with booking a seat for the youngest and picking the flight time carefully.

MissBattleaxe · 18/01/2016 12:07

I think that's very much down to personal experience, though, MissBattleaxe. I doubt we're in the OP's economic circumstances, but circumstances have meant my three year has flown regularly since he was about three months old, and isn't remotely excited about flying (other than a current mild obsession with flight safety cards in the seat pocket) because it's something he's so used to

But the DD can't remember flying before so it will effectively be her first time. What if she's a nervous flyer? No business class for her to help quell possible nerves like her Mum.

From the OP later post DD hasn't been on a plane within living memory so she is excited enough about going economy

chrome100 · 18/01/2016 12:10

You know what? It doesn't actually matter what any of Mumsnet thinks about the situation. The only person whose opinion matters is the nanny's. If she views the trip as a great experience for her and considers the flight and babysitting as paid work, then there's no issue.

Yes, even being able to afford NYC, never mind business class is completely out of my social and financial sphere. But if that is what's "normal" and the nanny is happy, go for it.

SoupDragon · 18/01/2016 12:19

No, it doesn't matter what MNers think but the OP doesn't seem to have flown with children before, let alone a toddler, and from the description I doubt the nanny has either.

Since becoming a parent I have flown with an assortment of children aged 6 weeks to 15yrs, single handedly for the most part, and I can safely say that around 18 months was the worst age. Even DS1 who was lovely and placid was a PITA. We flew to Florida when DS2 was that age and, as it was just after 9/11, we had two banks of 3 seats between us. It was still awful!

MissBattleaxe · 18/01/2016 12:22

No, it doesn't matter what we think, The OP asked for opinions and we gave a variety. All decisions are her own.

AppleSetsSail · 18/01/2016 12:25

Sorry OP if you've already addressed this but - I wouldn't even consider not getting your 16 month old a seat with the intention of him sitting in the nanny's lap. This is a misery that's reserved for parents alone.

AppleSetsSail · 18/01/2016 12:27

Are you able to get a red-eye to NYC OP? I don't think they exist from the UK? If you are, the plan is otherwise viable.

ShhhBeQuiet · 18/01/2016 12:28

OP , if you are a nervous flier then you should know that the rear seats are generally considered to be the safest. Wink

Anotherusername1 · 18/01/2016 12:29

Premium Economy on Virgin is very nice and not all that pricey OP

this was my suggestion too but the OP hasn't responded to it.

chrome100 · 18/01/2016 12:30

And wow, a nanny earns 35K? I need a new job!

JaneAustinAllegro · 18/01/2016 12:30

If you put the nanny in economy, you should stick to (what I think are pretty) usual work rules about time off following a transatlantic economy flight - she shouldn't have to work the following day - and that includes not having the children in her room the night immediately following.
The reason most companies shell otu on the expensive seats is so that the employee is fit to crack on with work straight away, being properly rested. SInce that's not going to be the case, you need to let her sleep properly to start with (I assume you're sticking the children in her room in the hotel?)

I rather agree with whoever said that you haven't really picked a family holiday suitable for the ages of the kids anyway, so really the better option is to leave them for this one and take them somewhere they'll want to go, involving a bucket and spade rather than endless walking and museums / restaurants.

cleaty · 18/01/2016 12:35

If I was the nanny I would be worried about the children constantly wanting to go and see mummy and daddy in first class. It sounds like your nanny has no idea of the reality of doing this kind of flight with the parents close by, and the children knowing that. I would suspect your nanny is in for a rude awakening. Don't make her job harder by giving her a toddler to sit on her lap. That sounds a hellish journey.

Longislandicetee · 18/01/2016 12:35

SoupDragon, you have just reminded me of a 7 hour flight we did when dc2 was 18 months! The thought of which can still bring me out in a cold sweat. Truly horrifying experience. I wasn't sure I was going to be persuaded to get in the return flight. What was worse was the BA agent had erroneously told us we couldn't pay for a seat for the wriggler so he was on our laps the whole time.Hmm

DeoGratias · 18/01/2016 12:36

We flew with twins and had one on each of our knees. No point in paying more for a seat. The nanny will be delighted to go and economy is fine. She can sit the child on her knee. If it gets too much one of you can come back and take over for an hour. It will be fine.

MissBattleaxe · 18/01/2016 12:40

Deo- the baby is 16 months, not a light sleepy newborn. Very uncomfortable and probably unfair on the passenger sitting next to them.

cleaty · 18/01/2016 12:41

Nanny will be delighted to go? Lots of experienced nannies either refuse to go on holidays or dread them. An experienced nanny knows that this kind of work can be very hard. Only inexperienced nannies are delighted to go.

AppleSetsSail · 18/01/2016 12:45

Only inexperienced nannies are delighted to go

I think this is probably true.

Holidays with toddlers are hard for parents. They must be infinitely harder for nannies of toddlers, who are not only under an uncomfortable microscope of observation and but also dealing with the absolute worst parts of international toddler travel (sick bags, jet lag, disrupted routines) without the benefit of being madly in love with the toddler.

OfaFrenchmind2 · 18/01/2016 12:51

YANBU, just give the toddler his own seat. The nanny is getting a free trip and 2 days in NY for herself. This is a really good deal, and she is in service. No shame in that, it's a good job, but that does not mean that she absolutely deserves all the perks of family adults.
For the children, Business or economy would not make that much of a difference, so get the less expensive option.

Catphrase · 18/01/2016 12:52

My 6 year old did her first flight last year.
She was repeatedly sick on landing (as were other children). She also had a fascination with the toilet so kept wanting to go. i couldn't imagine doing that with a toddler on my own

LagunaBubbles · 18/01/2016 12:59

The nanny will be delighted to go

Its a long flight, maybe not!

ShhhBeQuiet · 18/01/2016 13:00

And wow, a nanny earns 35K? I need a new job!

Pretty sure that wasn't the OPs nanny. Quite sensibly the OP hasn't mentioned her nannys pay.