Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make nanny and DC travel economy?

724 replies

BooAvenue · 17/01/2016 19:10

We are planning a trip to NY in the autumn and plan to take nanny, DD who will be 6 and DS who will be 16 months.

DH and I will be flying business, partially because I am a crap flyer despite flying frequently and partly because we have quite a lot of air miles that we want to make the most of.

The plan is to bring nanny on the 5 day trip so she can help out with the travelling and babysit for us on three of the nights. I've discussed it with her and she's very eager to come, and the plan is she will have 2 days and 2 evenings completely free to do as she pleases, plus TOIL of 6 days. We will of course pay for all hotels/flights/meals out and she's welcome to join in with us on her days off if she wishes. She also gets her own room whilst we have a 2 bed family room.

The difference between economy and club is about 2.5k per ticket, which whilst we are not poor is still a fair chunk of money.

So AIBU to fly business whilst she flies economy? And will DS need his own seat or will he need to go on one of our laps?

OP posts:
Philoslothy · 18/01/2016 07:25

I have no issue with couples taking holidays without their children - we do it.

This does not sound like a family holiday and if I were the OP I would go alone and return to the US for a more family centred holiday later in the year.

Anotherusername1 · 18/01/2016 08:15

I've not RTFT but have you thought about all of you going premium economy?

Original poster
BooAvenue · 18/01/2016 08:16

Ok, apologies for the late reply, nanny is british, this is her first nannying job apart from in nurseries (aware this will get me another pasting!), but she is wonderful and DD adores her, to the point where we kept her on over my ML with DS.

To the poster who mentioned forces, my DH is forces which is why, whilst we are not rich by many standards we have a nanny so I can keep working.

I am more than happy to pay for DS to have his own seat and I would be more than happy to have him on my knee, apart from the fact (and I appreciate this will make me sound like a bit of a twat) the lie flat beds make it difficult to hold a baby on your knee for landing on a 747 as the seat in front isn't quite arms length away if you're strapped in facing forwards.

OP posts:
lostinmiddlemarch · 18/01/2016 08:17

It's so cold hearted. Your children might have needs that one person will struggle to meet. I don't get how parents could settle down elsewhere and not give a damn if their kids are crying, over excited, needing a lap to sleep on etc. It's just so selfish to choose a scenario that gives your kids a harder time for no other reason than that you can't be bothered to lift a finger for them.

Original poster
BooAvenue · 18/01/2016 08:21

To the poster who asked why flying business helps me as a nervous flier, partially because I can get on first and "set up" so to speak. The ratio of cabin crew per person is higher so I feel less guilty asking them if it's going to be ok every 5 mins Blush. And embarrassingly enough it feels less like the air crash investigation shows I watch so almost makes it less real if you know what I mean.

OP posts:
Cleo29 · 18/01/2016 08:24

I don't understand at all your point about the lie flat beds. When they are not flat, they are just seats, so i don't see how that would make it difficult. I have flown on several airlines and can't think of one where it would be hard to have a baby on your lap. In fact it is far easier as the seats are roomier and wider and there is space all around you.

I think you should all travel together, but if you are going to separate then nanny and your daughter in economy and you and baby up front.

Cleo

Only1scoop · 18/01/2016 08:27

The bit I can't believe if you are a seasoned traveller is even questioning whether to get the 16 month old a seat and that you even entertained having your childminder stuck with your 16 month old on her lap for the duration?

Osmiornica · 18/01/2016 08:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Katenka · 18/01/2016 08:29

Sorry I just don't get the nervous flying issue.

I am a terrible flyer. Stop watching air crash investigation, it doesn't help. Trust me.

Also there have been plenty on private jets and shown business class.

You can for priority boarding with lots of airlines.

Also, tbh, why is economy good enough for the kids and not for you?

I flew with virgin and using the beds. No problem having ds on my knee, for take off. He was 12 months.

BYOSnowman · 18/01/2016 08:30

Sorry but your point about not being able to have baby for landing is rubbish. Talk about scraping the barrel of excuses!!

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/01/2016 08:30

If it was a short flight say to Spain ie 2hrs then fine to leave nanny with 2 children all on own seats

But 7/8hrs alone sounds awful

If you must do business class then would you /dh pop back every hour or so to check nanny didn't need anything?

This is a trip for you and dh. Tbh kids will get nothing out of it

Leave them at home with nanny. Enjoy your holiday and also have a child friendly one

Ps the poster who said a child fell asleep in their seat and mum wouldn't budge them - no way would I stand for a flight and sure Crew wouldn't be happy with this either

I would have moved child to own seat 9pr
Plonked on his mums

Original poster
BooAvenue · 18/01/2016 08:39

I fly frequently with work but never with our babies and to be honest have never seen other babies in business. I fly to the US reasonably frequently, to various states but not to NY as I imagine they have rather a lot of me!

OP posts:
Original poster
BooAvenue · 18/01/2016 08:42

And by me I mean my line of work!

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 18/01/2016 08:45

So do you think it's acceptable to have your childminder with your 16 month old on lap?

Because part of your Op was 'do I need to book a seat for 16 mo?'

varicoseveronica · 18/01/2016 08:47

I really don't see the problem.

The nanny is obviously capable of looking after your DC, it's her job and she's being paid for it. Plenty of passengers fly solo with children. Economy is the norm for most passengers.

You and DH can upgrade to the comfort of Club, why on earth wouldn't you?

Buy an extra seat for the 16m, maybe forego the Lounge and enjoy your trip. The DC will not suffer for 10 hours without you when they've got the whole holiday with you.

LaurieMarlow · 18/01/2016 08:57

I fly frequently for work and have seen plenty of babies/young children in business so it's not an issue of expectations.

OP your point about the seats making it difficult to have your young son in business makes no sense to me. It's a normal seat for takeoff. Just with more space.

MummaGiles · 18/01/2016 08:57

I know people that have flown to Japan and Australia in business class with their child. The whole annoying other passengers thing is not an excuse - if you've paid for them to be there then they have just as much right as anyone else to sit in business.

It's a long flight to have a 16 month old on your lap. You should get them their own seat.

nilbyname · 18/01/2016 09:02

I don't think you can swap seats and wander back from economy and business willy nilly.

I think book four seats in economy and 2 in business. Take it in turns to sit in economy with children and nanny.

I've been a nanny holidaying with employers- it was fun!

A 16month old on a longish flight is the stuff of nightmares. It really is. op you cannot leave the 16m old with the nanny and the 6 year old. The 6 year old will be largely ignored and the 16m old will be running rings round anyone. Small space, 7 hours of enforced sitting and waiting. I can think of nothing worse and have flown with both my children with Dh regularly since birth. It's hard work. It's constant. You need to be on your A game!

Katenka · 18/01/2016 09:03

I think you would have more positive responses if you admitted you fancy a child free flight in business class.

Kids do travel in business class. I have travelled with mine. It's not uncommon. Although I do find a look of surprise when you get on with a small child. I do think a lot of people think it doesn't happen.

Personally I know my kids wouldn't enjoy New York. I would go there without them, if I had someone who would take the kids for that long.

As it stands I could ask mum and dad but would feel bad. So we are waiting until they are older. Dd is 11 so I may take her, just the 2 of us, in the next few years as she would love it.

Dh isn't that fussed about going.

MissBattleaxe · 18/01/2016 09:03

Buy an extra seat for the 16m, maybe forego the Lounge and enjoy your trip. The DC will not suffer for 10 hours without you when they've got the whole holiday with you.

Well not really the whole holiday, they're going out without them on 3 of the 5 nights and only having them sans nanny on two of the days. But each to their own.

ShhhBeQuiet · 18/01/2016 09:03

OP
What airline do you fly? I'm baffled that you don't see babies on business. I have 4 DC and they all flew business when they were babies (or virgin upper class)

Don't look for excuses not to take your baby into business with you - if you don't want to then that's fine but it's silly to pretend there is some tangible reason that you can't.

KitKat1985 · 18/01/2016 09:07

Good lord how the other half live!

It does sound a bit 'Upstairs, Downstairs' to be honest. I also feel a bit sorry for your kids who I imagine would want to be with their parents for the flight. You will have 3 nights alone with your husband when you are in New York, so surely that's plenty of couple time? Can't you be with your kids for the flight and all travel in economy? I'm sensing that they don't get to see a lot of your DH as it sounds as if he's away a lot, and it sounds like you are out of the country / working a lot as well, so I'm sure they would love to spend some time with you both.

To be fair though I think overall the Nanny has a pretty good deal out of this trip, but the expectation to deal with a tired and fidgety 16 month old and over-excited 6 year old on her own for a 7-hour flight is a bit harsh.

ShhhBeQuiet · 18/01/2016 09:07

I've been on planes where you are not allowed to wander between business and economy. I'd check with the Airline before assuming that this is possible

BYOSnowman · 18/01/2016 09:09

Dh travels business long haul one week in three and often sees babies. Last flight we were on had three who must have been under one. It's much cheaper to fly with a baby after all!!

You don't want to fly with your kids - just admit it and move on but stop coming up with ridiculous arguments as to why you can't!

redjoker · 18/01/2016 09:10

If the nanny is put out i'd happily take her spot?!