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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make nanny and DC travel economy?

724 replies

BooAvenue · 17/01/2016 19:10

We are planning a trip to NY in the autumn and plan to take nanny, DD who will be 6 and DS who will be 16 months.

DH and I will be flying business, partially because I am a crap flyer despite flying frequently and partly because we have quite a lot of air miles that we want to make the most of.

The plan is to bring nanny on the 5 day trip so she can help out with the travelling and babysit for us on three of the nights. I've discussed it with her and she's very eager to come, and the plan is she will have 2 days and 2 evenings completely free to do as she pleases, plus TOIL of 6 days. We will of course pay for all hotels/flights/meals out and she's welcome to join in with us on her days off if she wishes. She also gets her own room whilst we have a 2 bed family room.

The difference between economy and club is about 2.5k per ticket, which whilst we are not poor is still a fair chunk of money.

So AIBU to fly business whilst she flies economy? And will DS need his own seat or will he need to go on one of our laps?

OP posts:
TheWomanInTheWall · 17/01/2016 23:29

Want2be, according to SAS website, 2-11 year olds get 25% discount in business and it's just let me route an Oslo/Newark flight for one adult one child in business.

Maybe certain flights are child free in business but I can't believe any airline would 100% rule itself out of a lucrative group.

Thornrose · 17/01/2016 23:31

For once I'm justified in not rtft, due to my strong sense of deja vu I don't need to! Wink

wickedwaterwitch · 17/01/2016 23:32

This thread has been interesting!

LittleBeautyBelle · 17/01/2016 23:35

I'd have the holiday with just the family, all of us flying economy and use the extra money elsewhere.

Just out of curiosity, why do you need all the nights out with just you and dh? Out for a drink? You can do that anywhere. A special show I understand though, but I'd choose family friendly shows to share the experience with the dc. So much to do in NY that dc can enjoy.

It seems from your post you're mostly interested in you and dh going to NY. You want the nanny to do most of the child minding while traveling and most of the child minding during the holiday itself. I don't get it. Leave them at home if that's the case. I'm sorry, I just don't get the mindset of having children and then hiring a nanny to raise them, especially in situations when it's not necessary, when the mother is right there not doing anything. I don't want to miss all the good stuff, those moments that will never come around again.

Just take your children to NY and enjoy your family holiday. That includes the child minding part. You don't know what you're missing. There are many things about the culture of refined living I like and enjoy, but having a nanny doing most of the raising and loving and tending and caring of my dc would not be one of them.

ShhhBeQuiet · 17/01/2016 23:42

PandasRock
That's the unaccompanied minor service, Shh

I know but it says you can use it while you are on THE SAME FLIGHT. Shock Grin

Want2bSupermum · 17/01/2016 23:48

Woman I wish that were the case. We bought business tickets (3 of them as I was on my own with 2 kids) and when I got on the plane they refused to seat me in business. I was put in economy extra and told my children were too young for business. The real sting was that we got zero refund because they took the cost of same day economy seat against what we had paid 3 months earlier for our business tickets. I was furious and would have walked off the plane and taken the KLM flight (with delta) if there had been enough seats on the KLM flight.

I try my best to avoid SAS but as they are the only airline with direct flights to Copenhagen from my local airport I am stuck with them. United cut the route a few years ago sadly. They code share but SAS doesn't recognize United frequent flier status. It's all based on their (SASs) whims with them accusing DH of having a fake frequent flier membership when he presented his platinum (whatever it's called) card. Another time he showed his credit card and they waived him through to the lounge! They really are the worst airline and are one to avoid IME.

TheWomanInTheWall · 17/01/2016 23:51

God that's shit! So they sold you the ticket but didn't honour it?

Want2bSupermum · 18/01/2016 00:04

yes. Worst was that I thought they should have fully refunded the flight. DH flies a lot with them and called up to complain after they had 'refunded' my ticket. The bitch had the nerve to say that if I had told them who my husband was they would have let me sit in business. DH was beyond furious when they said that to him.

TheWomanInTheWall · 18/01/2016 00:10

Crikey!

nooka · 18/01/2016 00:16

My parents holidayed without us every year, and although they also holidayed with us, I'd not describe our holidays as particularly family focused (for example we never went to theme parks or beaches). I've also flown a couple of times with my father in business class when we were in economy. I bear them zero resentment for any of these things.

Nannies are family employees, so yes of course there is an element of 'upstairs downstairs' to the scenario. So what? We had a nanny when our children were very small. It was cheaper than a nursery and a great arrangement for all of us (including the nanny who loved working with children, liked being in control of her days and was well paid). I'd not be unhappy if either of my children wanted to nanny for a while, it can be a good way to travel/work in different countries.

Ericaequites · 18/01/2016 00:23

No one wants a toddler and a six year old at a Broadway show. A local theatre in the states bans admission to under fours except for certain family matinees. It's not fair to the other patrons to put up with distracted and screeching small children.

Headmelt · 18/01/2016 00:25

My suggestion is: Book three seats on Easyjet or Ryanair's finest economy class for nanny & dc and op and her dh take the private jet.Grin

Admittedly, I'm a little giddy from reading the thread and think this is one big wind up.

If Steph & Dom weren't as old as they are, and not so sozzled most of the time I would imagine this being a dilemma for them Grin

Stormsurfer · 18/01/2016 00:29

pandas even with 2 of you doing that it sounds daunting! Respect.

Wdigin2this · 18/01/2016 00:43

I don't think you are being unreasonable to buy the nanny a seat in economy....but to leave her on a long flight with 2 small children, who will inevitably be wanting their mummy?! I don't think I could do that!

Caterina99 · 18/01/2016 01:11

Just flew alone with my 6 month old to and from US for Christmas. Wow I'd love a nanny (or anyone!) to look after him while I drank champagne in business class. The air hostess held him while I went to the loo. And he slept most of the way to be honest so it could've been a lot worse.

However if I were you (and you were actually a real person) then I'd suck it up for the flight itself but get the nanny to deal with the jet lag afterwards. Not fun.

threewords3 · 18/01/2016 03:25

I live abroad, where pretty much every family has an nanny, and many people take the nanny on holiday with them. The OP would be considered fairly normal for suggesting dc and nanny fly in economy whilst the parents fly business.

When I lived in a different country a few years ago, it was normal for parents to fly business and leave dc unattended in economy, until BA stopped it being allowed.

MistressMerryWeather · 18/01/2016 03:43

Sorry, it doesn't make any sense for a nervous flyer not to want their children within arms length.

I would be shitting myself worrying about how the kids are, nanny or not.

This is clearly a case of wanting an easy long haul and trying to justify it.

Baconyum · 18/01/2016 03:53

“Wtf, why did you have children OP? Clearly you aren't fussed about spending that much quality time with them”

“The more you post the more detached as a parent you sound.”

In the first few pages I was thinking OK nanny in economy, she's an employee and is also getting a trip and extra days off out of it but why not have YOUR OWN CHILDREN with you? Now I know. Frankly yes book a seat for youngest as that's unfair on nanny to have him on her lap for several hours and may not necessarily be comfortable for him either, but yes seeing as nanny likely spends more time with them than you do and frankly is probably more of a parent to them, they'll be happier with nanny.

Seriously , why on earth DID you bother having kids if you barely spend time with them?

“so I do actually spend a fair bit of time with my kids” nope sorry don't believe you.

Feel sorry for your kids to be honest.

SeoulSista · 18/01/2016 04:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mathanxiety · 18/01/2016 06:04

LOL at the certainty of 'the toddler will sleep for half of it'. It is continuously daylight on the westbound leg, and noisy, and some toddlers do not sleep. Some 6 yos need to go to the loo and that means toddler has to go too. Some nannies have to use the loo, come to think of it.

LOL too at 'nanny is a professional'. Maybe she is but she still has a bladder and still needs to have hands free to eat and to take care of the other child, and she needs to be able to move her legs. She is not a machine.

On the return leg you get about two hours of sleep max, with dinner served late, and loud idiots who don't settle down, and then more eejits up at the loo at the crack of stupid o'clock chatting noisily in the aisles. If the early birds don't disturb everyone the cabin crew does, with hot towels and cups of awful tea and lights on very brutally.

You feel the jetlag much more keenly when you land in Europe, partly because of getting so little sleep on the way back, so I hope the nanny gets a day off when she gets home.

SeoulSista · 18/01/2016 06:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tram10 · 18/01/2016 06:59

We see it all the time flying from Middle East, parents in the front and the kids and nanny in the back. Not unusual at all.

Years ago, I was on a flight and there was a very famous, would imagine very wealthy, singer on the flight, she was in Business or First, her nanny and her little kids were in economy. Friends of ours do it all the time on transatlantic flights. We also have friends, who put their older kids in economy and they travel business or first.

Personally, I want my kids beside me on a plane, I hate flying and always fear the trip will be my final one ever, so I would not leave my kids in the back with the nanny, DH would in a heartbeat !

Janeymoo50 · 18/01/2016 07:09

As an ex nanny this wouldn't bother me, I'd be made up going to New York (plus no parents contradicting my methods). But, it would be useful for mum or dad to help out at certain times (toilet breaks/meals) if possible. But I say that having taken 3 year old twins alone on an 10 flight to Calgary once in economy. My biggest concern would be making sure the 16 month old had a seat of their own.

Katenka · 18/01/2016 07:14

I would feel a complete twat leaving my kids with someone else in economy. Personally we would all be flying together. But I have always been like that with my staff. Not at home in my business. I

But it's between you and your nanny.

Just wondering what happens if the 16 month old kicks off and ends up in business class, wailing. Bet the OP and her dh will be popular

ZanyMobster · 18/01/2016 07:21

Nanny and DCs going economy fine but at 16 months theye need their own seat for that length of flight, it would be a nightmare for both of them IMO and uncomfortable. At least make sure the nanny and DCs are comfortable and have plenty of space.