That consultant said this word...

[Ozwizard]

I went to the hospital to see my results from my consultant. Result of this is that I will have to have surgery that has a six to eight week recovery time. As he was explaining my condition he said that it is very common in " Negroid ladies"!!
The nurse in the room looked at me and shifted uncomfortably in her seat! And I took a second to register if he really did say that. Then I did a nervous laugh and said to him " you must not use that word" he said "what, that is what you are" " what is wrong with Negroid"? I said " stop, use another word". He said " oh I didn't know that Negroid would offend you"
Aibu that he should not have said that word?

He was giving his opinion as a person on those subjects. I'm sure he's not stupid and has lots of time to think about many things. wonders if he MNets Just not using the most appropriate biological terms. Although it's certainly common use.

And sorry again for the jargon. I got a bit riled up earlier and decided to skip on the wider public-friendly language.

Don't apologise!

Having someone it is possible to disagree with fairly politely is one of life's joys. As it was my post that set you off I am equally to blame, should there be any blame, that is!

That we are both splitting hairs to disagree makes this even better! I am fairly certain we agree that the OP could have been much more robust and that the consultant she saw was clumsy and should think twice before speaking in such an unfiltered manner again.

We just have, a possibly semantic disagreement on how/if our species is stratified (your meaning). And that is, to me, an interesting point of debate.

And yes, I am prevaricating. I am supposed to be printing out advertising blurb and starting a business for god's sake

Blanche

OP could have been much more robust

A person being 'over sensitive' is a very overused comeback in defence of racism

Along the lines of 'having a chip on your shoulder'

Lagoon, I meant here. She could have been much more robust here.

Telling him, more than once, he had upset here was a good thing. No one could argue against the fact that, whatever the merits or demerits of the word, the consultant repeatedly made a patient feel uncomfortable.

Had she been more robust here the thread may have had more merit. Instead of splitting into some interesting debate and some people simply calling other people racists or defenders of racism!!!

I was so disappointed in how this thread was going and ultimately how it was dealt with - the silence from MN appeared dismissive to me considering how many people aired their concerns. Similar to another thread in relationships about gay parents. It seems these debates are too difficult for MN to deal with/remind people of respectful debate etc. Either way very disappointing.

I have however enjoyed reading the reasoned opinions of adult posters so thank MN for not deleting the thread.

OP, I don't think you were being U. The word, whilst not intended to be offensive in medical terms derives from a word that now has negative connotations from the worst times of black history. I hate that it is used by black people too, completely undermines everything that black people fought for. This is why many professionals state it is best avoided. The consultant may not have meant to offend you but him repeating it is offensive.

People that don't understand (refuse to understand) the negative connotations are a waste of energy to reason with. End of. The veiled attempts to antagonise were pathetic.

Good luck with your operation

Yes Blanche its very common for white people to have lots of opinions on how things should go/how people should act/what they should say/how they should say it, when black people discuss racism

Yes, Lagoon. It is also very common for all sorts of people to have lots of opinions on how things should go, how other people should post, when racism, sexism and any other sensitive issue is being discussed.

Let's say you are 100% correct. I am a raging racist. How do you think it would be best to deal with me?

Ban me?
Tell me I am a naughty girl?
Discuss my posts with me, engage in discourse?
Or just make some snide comments?

You seem to have gone for the latter. Had you been more robust this
could have been a reasonable and interesting discussion.

For you maybe
I've had variations of this discussion a million times over
Sometimes you have the inclination to educate. Sometimes you really can't be fucked

Whatever your thoughts are on individuals (race) I think your arguments are balanced and delivered respectfully OurBlache.

We all have our opinions, it's how they are delivered, I like it when they are rationalised and not generalised.

Thanks Peyia. I do try not to get personal and have even changed my mind, sometimes. I do like a decent debate, even with people I wholly disagree with. It's the main reason for posting here, in AIBU, isn't it?

I suppose it is the equivalent of calling a white person Caucasian.

The main point here is that he continued to say the term after she had made it clear she was offended. Most people would, if they were acting in good faith, stop immediately.

OurBlanche it's not up to Lagoona or anyone else to educate you about racism. It's your responsibility.