to ask if you would consider home education?

[SundayBea]

Have read a lot of articles recently on how the numbers in home education have 'exploded' and it's on the rise by 80% a year apparently. I know of three families I think quite highly of, two of whom are ex-teachers whose children have never been to school and their children seem to be having an exceptional upbringing and education with so many fantastic experiences and opportunities. Also know of two other families who have withdrawn their children from school because of problems with their respective schools and I'm less certain of how successful it is going to be for them. Also know of several colleagues and DH's cousin who have DC under 5 who are debating not registering them when the time comes. Is this a big thing now or is it just coincidence I know of so many families like this? I was just wondering what the general consensus was.. when I mentioned socialisation one of my ex-teacher friends showed me the Facebook group she is in for her local home education community and I was amazed at the plethora of groups, classes, meet ups and outings with hundreds of members.. just for her local county! Have been debating with DP what to do about schooling at private school is unfortunately out of the question on our current salaries.. I'm now feeling like I've discovered a whole new option I hadn't considered? Sorry if this is rambling, only getting a 5 minute lunch break today!

That made me laugh Bertrand! (I'd agree with you!).

I seriously considered it but actually am really pleased we went the school route. I'm still friends with quite a few who home educate and on the whole prefer the education my daughter is getting. Lots of AP types with very few "rules" or boundaries. Suits them which is great but would drive me potty.

What are the limits cleaty? I don't understand. You said in your post that they can go to college or back to school. So what are the limits exactly? Or do you mean that they're limited up till the point they return?

Fwiw I could send my ds to formal GCSE studies for most subjects right now if I wanted to, there are loads running. I receive notifications in my in box daily, run by qualified teachers who chose to HE their own children and set up classes for others who are pursuing GCSE's. They're doing sciences and achieving passes so they must be getting their lab time somewhere.

Yes they are limited until they go back to an educational establishment. Few people have a science lab in their home.

I think the experiences of having to get on with other children who you don't get on with, don't like, and who don't like you and managing to get by with them and work together give invaluable lessons and life skills you will never get from mainstream education.

Not sure whether the end of that sentence actually means what you started off wanting to say, lol. Anyway, my kids always laugh at the idea that schoolchildren are better at learning to get on with people because they have to - they're now in secondary schools with 240 in a year. It's a lot easier to avoid people you don't like and spend time with those you don't, than when they were home educated and had to get on with those at various groups because they were your only option

Yet many seem to do well in iGCSE science and tbh the resources needed for science at secondary level aren't that technical, all accessible at home.

It's not limited, it is different. School is also limited. HE kids will have other things that schooled kids don't have.

Agree. But FE or GCSE's done at an FE college is a very different kettle of fish to the school route or 9-3.45, uniforms, strict timetables etc. I got a couple of GCSE's myself later in life and it was so much more enjoyable and doable. There were a number of youngsters in my classes too, who had failed and were re-sitting or needed a better grade. I think it's fine to avoid all the stress of school if you're just not suited and then go and get the GCSE's in an FE college environment.

I think if you have tried and failed at main stream school then fair enough to but what I don't get when people say school is not for their children when they never even tried

Also I do think it depends on your level of education personally I have have meet some home educators who quite simply no less than my can't and I don't believe in we will learn as we go along bull shit your child's education is not somthing of an experiment as you only get one go

Personally

I don't have the education to homeschool my son the stuff he is currently learning is beyond me his science teacher has a masters I couldn never top that and th experiences that he has I would never get they got to tweet with Tim peak a few weeks ago

Also my son would simply not meet any children out side him own income and racial background really if he were homeschooled

He also learns to work with people he wouldn't choose to spend his time with and undertake tasks he's not keen on personally I think this lets only learn what we want is a bit suspect

Every point you've made in your posts has been raised and discussed repeatedly on this thread. Have you even read it?

I don't see it as people 'failing at mainstream school'. Maybe mainstream school has failed them? That would make more sense really. I completely understand those who don't want to even try school, I have many friends who have home-edded from the start for all sorts of reasons. None of the children have SN, it is purely that their parents don't feel that mass education makes sense in anything other than a logistical sense.

Obviously it works differently in all households.

It gives me a wry smile however...that on the whole most MN threads about schools go along the lines of teachers being overpaid given their holidays, not knowing they are born etc, schools being in the wrong yadda yadda. Yet discuss not using that particular offering and they are suddenly seen as the better option.

Our local school is genuinely lovely. We have no issues with it at all...however still believe that could we work it properly within the family home ed could be a better option for us. Until the point we are happy and ready to go, we will use the local school and support it whole heartedly through volunteering and governorship.

i looked into it and thought it was quite daunting....strict timetables and set work, if you work it seemed undoable....praise to anyone who can do it and spend more time with a stroppy teenager!

Like other posters have noted, I too find it interesting that so many people complain about school until you suggest they don't use it.

Why do so many people who obviously know very little about H. ed, wouldn't consider it themselves, get so het up about others doing it?

Potato face..strict timetables and set work? For HE?

I would consider doing it if I could give up work! There is no way I could afford to as I am the bigger earner. The thing I wonder about most with home education is how anyone can afford to do it? Or do you not need to be present for as many hours in the day as a full school day, so could still do some work around it?

The thing is, it can be as expensive or as cheap as you want it to be. There are so many internet resources out there. There are even all in one free complete curriculums should you want to use it. You save for summer holiday outings, so it silkier hat,just spread across the year,which makes it possibly easier to save? In fact,a lot of the outings you get a home ed discount for, so pay less than you would during the holidays, plus it is quieter. Last years curriculum cost me less than ten pounds. (Plus outings).
The gcse years cost more,sitting as a private candidate,possibly tutorials, but again you can work toward saving for these and spread the gcse exams out over two years.

I think if you have tried and failed at main stream school then fair enough to but what I don't get when people say school is not for their children when they never even tried

The introduction of national testing for 7 year olds here in Wales had me seriously questioning whether school was the best idea (and I have a DD with no problems. I just think the school system is pretty far from ideal).

Hell would freeze over before I agreed to home-educate.

I know several HE families, they all follow "unschooling" and their kids are illiterate at the age of 8 or 9. ONe mum just takes her child around with her all day to her own work (self employed, parenting-type, baby-centric work: how can the child learn reading, writing, maths from that? She is also illiterate at age 6. Another family have GCSE age kids but have decided that exams are worthless, so they're not bothering. How the very heck will those kids be able to move into the workplace with absolutely zero qualifications?

Maybe I only know the extreme end of HE, but my mind is boggled by it.

Someone else mentioned Steiner upthread: a friend's son is at Steiner and he's desperate to read, but the "teachers" won't help him learn. Again, it seems really bloody odd.

I'm always so surprised by the neglectful, failing home educators that are described on these threads, genuinely, because I literally don't know a single home educated illiterate child. I don't know a single family who behave this way towards home educating their child and before I was forced to HE my son I had never met a family that home educated at all. All the detractors on here seems to know several who are all messing it up.

I would consider it 100%, have done. Have concluded, regretfully, that it wouldn't work for me.

I love the idea of autonomous education, however, I think that you have to be a certain kind of personality yourself.

You have to be resourceful. Either having money to spend lavishly on experiences and materials, or being adept at creating opportunity from little, seeking out low cost or free things. There are many but it takes work and creativity to uncover. A bonus is that this can be part of the learning experience. A car is borderline critical. It's possible to home ed without one but you'll be much more geographically and therefore time constricted. Harder to access groups etc. I don't think it's strictly necessary, but it's going to make your life so much harder not to have access to one at least some of the time.

You have to be able to make connections yourself. Although autonomous home ed is child-led, you're one of their biggest resources as a map of general adult knowledge. If a child is interested in aircraft, but doesn't know specialised museums exist, or that knowledge can be found in books, then they aren't likely to make the jump to think "I'd like a book on aeroplanes" or "I'd like to visit the RAF museum". It's an adult's job to suggest and point things out. You don't have to know about everything but knowing enough to think to type the word into google, visit the library and find the section about planes, or have a vague memory of seeing old planes in a museum some time. It's about working with the child and helping them to make connections and giving them opportunities that they wouldn't have been able to make happen by themselves.

Then you have to be the kind of person who gets up and does things, and, crucially, follows things through. If your child is interested in something and requests something which is possible but you can't make happen immediately, you need to be sure that you'll get to it later and not just fob them off and hope they will forget. It can help to be spontaneous - they express interest in France and you out of curiosity google Ryanair flights and find you can go for a day trip tomorrow, that kind of thing - I don't think this is necessary but it helps. And if you're not spontaneous then you DEFINITELY have to follow through on things you promise. Otherwise the interest will pass and the educational opportunity is gone. Likewise, if they ask for your help with something, you have to do it and not say oh, later, I'm busy right now, just because you don't feel like it right now.

Lastly, you need to be pretty tuned into your DC. For all the talk that they will self regulate with things like TV and video games, I think that's only true when you're fairly tuned in to what is going on with them and especially because you would tend to notice that they are acting a bit wired or that they haven't eaten for 5 hours or whatever - if you're prone to spacing out yourself and brushing off their efforts at connecting with you then it isn't going to work in the same way and they are likely to retreat into less productive things. You also have to be okay at managing your own emotions and not let their constant company get to you. Or be one of those lucky people whose relationship with their DC is great all of the time, without your personality clashes getting in the way.

For me personally, I think I'm good at the first two points, though I don't have a driving licence, but terrible at the last two, and that's what would make me awful at home ed, which is sad really. I'd love to see the process happening and see what DS comes up with, I'm fascinated by home ed blogs (but can't read them any more because of how guilty/envious they make me feel) but I'm just not great at breaking off from my own thing to do something with him, following through on anything or staying aware of what is going on. I have a tendency to go off into my own little world, especially without structure (and I know that home ed can, if you want it to, be very structured, but it's self imposed, which I find really hard.) DS and I also wind each other up no end when we're around each other for too long (actually, I just realised that this Christmas holiday was fine and that didn't happen, so maybe he's growing out of it!)

Disclaimer: I haven't read the whole thread so nuke me
I have five children and homeschooled no2 from the age of 12 (from the easter of his 2nd year in senior school) onward.
I have always maintained that I saved his life by taking him out of school long, long, LONG story and I would do it again if I had to with any of my three younger ones who are still at school.
I didn't do it from idealism, or even want to do it, but it was a last resort, and I am so glad now, looking back, that I did. It was a hard slog, not least because the whole world seemed against us, and threw every objection and obstacle they could think of in our way...
I am a stubborn cow though, and I knew the damage the school was doing to my son, so we stood firm and it was the best decision for him, and me, at that time, and has turned out very well.
He entered higher education at 15, and is now a qualified chef who loves his job - he's 21 now

pingu none of my friends' DC could read until very late.

But that didn't stop one of them being accepted by Cambridge . Obviously in the meantime he learned to read!

God no I'm much to thick to teach anyone anything. Went to a meeting about the sats tests on Friday and looking at the questions I wouldn't even pass them!

I started off going down the school route, and it was a horrific experience for my son and everyone on the periphery. He has autism and ADHD (diagnosed at age 7 and 10) and he had no relevant support at all in either of the two schools we tried (one had an ASD base and was highly recommended - they still failed him). He was dreadfully harmed, both emotionally and physically, by his school experience and his GP even recommended we consider HE to protect his deteriorating mental health. The schools and LA simply weren't interested in meeting his needs - in their ignorance they had labelled him as naughty and lazy and punished him accordingly, and he was a very damaged child when I removed him at age 10. This was between 2004-08 when there was money in the pot for SN support - I shudder to think how awful it might have been if he was in school now, with reduced budgets.

So we were kind of backed into a corner and had no choice but to HE, but I've never regretted it for a moment. He's a bright lad, high potential, but he's done far better in HE than he could have in school because a) the support he needed wasn't there, b) he was so stressed and anxious each day that all his mental energy was going into 'getting through' and he had nothing left for actual learning, and c) aspirations for children with autism were pathetically low (I was told he'd get a D for English at GCSE - he went on to get an A*).

The 'middle class' argument baffles me. There's a wide cross section in our local community, from single parents in council housing with very little money, through the stereotypical hippy-dippy types, up to fairly wealthy - and all points in between. Pretty much the same as you'd get in a typical school, from my experience. Also a range of education levels in parents from poor (I have 2 O levels - ds outstripped me years ago) to doctorates and multiple degrees. There is always a way in HE. I brought in tutors when I was out of my depth and it worked very well.

I think what needs to be recognised that there is no perfect education anywhere - HE has its flaws, and so does school. No two children are alike and where one will thrive the other will fail, so we choose what is best for our own. I'm delighted that those of you who choose school have children who are happy and thriving, as I am for those who find the same from HE, but each to their own and it's daft to criticise one option just because it's not right for you and your family. We don't know each other's circumstances or why different people make different choices.

Never say never. We are incredibly lucky in this country that HE is a legal option, especially where SN is concerned, because sadly my son's story is far from unique. I read similar accounts almost daily on SN forums because neither the money nor the required expertise is available in most schools, and children suffer as a result. It's no surprise to me at all that HE numbers are increasing. As for me - yes, I'd HE again, probably from the outset but certainly at the first sign of trouble. I definitely left it too late for my son to be fully repaired and he'll carry some of the scars forever, but we did what was right for him and I'm proud of what he's become as a result.

HE has so much opposition. Friends might think you are judging them abf family can turn cold. But the most important thing is providing the right learning environment and education for your child. That may be school or that may be HE.

We started to HE over a year ago. We had tried to schools but the system did not suit my DD. She had many friends, she still sees them, but she still hated school.

We have both met so many amazing new people that our social lives are far better than before. She mixes with lots of different ages and goes out and speaks to people in the real world every day. It does annoy me that some people believe HE kids do not see real life. They aren't caged! I would argue that the forced age groupings of school provides a construct not replicated in adult life. So why the hate?

She can read, her writing is far clearer now than it ever was in school, she's hardly ever ill, she's free to pursue what she wants to learn - we do topic work and work maths and English etc into them, but most importantly she is happy and that is what truly matters.