to ask if you would consider home education?

[SundayBea]

Have read a lot of articles recently on how the numbers in home education have 'exploded' and it's on the rise by 80% a year apparently. I know of three families I think quite highly of, two of whom are ex-teachers whose children have never been to school and their children seem to be having an exceptional upbringing and education with so many fantastic experiences and opportunities. Also know of two other families who have withdrawn their children from school because of problems with their respective schools and I'm less certain of how successful it is going to be for them. Also know of several colleagues and DH's cousin who have DC under 5 who are debating not registering them when the time comes. Is this a big thing now or is it just coincidence I know of so many families like this? I was just wondering what the general consensus was.. when I mentioned socialisation one of my ex-teacher friends showed me the Facebook group she is in for her local home education community and I was amazed at the plethora of groups, classes, meet ups and outings with hundreds of members.. just for her local county! Have been debating with DP what to do about schooling at private school is unfortunately out of the question on our current salaries.. I'm now feeling like I've discovered a whole new option I hadn't considered? Sorry if this is rambling, only getting a 5 minute lunch break today!

Apologies for typos, tiny phone screen

Personally not in a million years. I can see why it would suit certain children with illness/particular SEN/social or bullying issues but I still think school is the best place in most cases even if it's specialist provision

Yes I'm doing it and it's sometimes a much better option for the children. At the same time, I'm aware of some parents (who happen to be disabled but there are many disabled parents who homeschool wonderfully) who are not doing a great job - children are often unable to learn anything or interact because mum is too unwell. They end up playing lots of minecraft and learning from a computer, if at all. For these children, I would think a normal school day would be of great benefit.

I don't know that I would do it if I worked, because my reason for home schooling is that I'm here, at home, in a position to make those school hours more productive for my daughter. If I was arranging childcare for her school hours, I would have to ask if she wouldn't be better employed with peers, having the experiences that school has to offer. A ten year old spending most weekdays at Grannie's house - why??

About socialisation, people don't realise. You don't need to be with a pack of kids exactly your age for six hours in order to grow up into a relationally astute adult. Home educated kids (when it's done well) tend to go to every extra-curricular activity going because they have more time, and the internet allows a lot of networking during school hours too. They also tend to be very confident and open with people of all ages, which actually works in their favour from a socialising point of view.

Having said that, school can be a horrible place for an introvert and perhaps it simply wouldn't suit some children - dipping in and out of social contexts via clubs might be preferable, even if childcare has to be arranged during parent's working hours.

Part of what put me off HE was how I've seen it done. Took a while to figure out that the models I was seeing weren't how I would have to do it. Plus some HErs are really negative & pessimistic about school-ed. Not a programme of attraction.

But even putting all that aside, HE doesn't appeal to me for other types of reasons. I don't have the temperment.

School-ed can be pants, too. I'm not naive. But a lot (?most) of things that the school-haters hate, I like. I see challenges, opportunities, helpful influences and inputs. May be long-hard slogs, but you don't not do something just because it's difficult. I want to try to Work on coping with that difficulty rather than reject dealing with it completely.

Nobody I know has mentioned they unschool, btw, they scoff if I bring up the idea. Of course it's Good, great even, that people are so committed to their kids. I could never be (such a saint) that good a parent.

I'll be honest. Before I home educated, I didn't know much about it and thought it was an out-there choice for hippies and religious types . I had stereotypical notions about how it was done and a lot of my early thoughts have been repeated here on this thread. In practice, you don't really know HE until you've done it yourself and spent some time in the local community and found out what it's like on a day to day basis. I have come across lots of people who claim to have 'researched' HE at some point in their children's education but dismissed it, yet when discussion deepens I find that they have only scratched the surface with a brief glance at Education Otherwise online or their LA's page. HE is what the individual makes it, so you tailor your approach to you, your children and your wider family's needs and circumstances.

One more thing, to those of you who don't think they'd be capable of HE. I was you once, but shit happens and if you were to find yourself in a similar situation to mine, when you really had run out of choices, you'd do it. Same as if your child developed a serious illness - somehow you'd find a way to cope and get through. It's like a lot of unknowns - we really have no idea how we'd cope until it's happening to us, but there's always a way.

I'd slit my wrists within the week. Some of us really do know selves.

That's how I felt too, hence my ds remaining in school for far longer than he should have, right up till he had his head banged off a desk repeatedly by a frustrated teacher. I was desperate at the thought of having to do it. It's not how you think it will be, but then most things in life aren't in my experience.

I think it completely depends on the child. I had always planned on home educating ds, but decided against it. I became a single mother, needed to get work and just couldn't possibly spend day in day out with ds. He is my world, but we would kill each other if we spent all day every day together. Plus I do not drive, and just aren't enough good home ed groups around here.

Thankfully ds loves school, but is only in year 1, so we'll see! There are certainly aspects of school that I don't agree with, but for now it is right for ds.

I have family members who were home schooled and it went well, went on to do degrees and very good jobs. I think when done well it can be fantastic. However two of my friends home school their kids, and it isn't remotely fantastic. One really really struggles and has a 7 year old son who has been begging to go to school. They don't get out much, kids watch tele every night til 10, and they're all round pretty miserable. The second doesn't want her child to be influenced by society and has often said they don't want to work to a schedule and there is absolutely no way they could even get to school for 9am.
Both these women are well educated brilliant woman, but I don't agree with either of their reasoning for home schooling and the kids are clearly suffering, as are they.

They are both basing a lot of their reasoning on the fact that they both disliked school. Neither of them have stepped foot inside a school since they left, and have no idea what they are like now. They both feel quite sorry for me as a single parent having to send my son to school, but it has been great for us both. He is thriving and his social life is brilliant. I love the fact that he gets to socialise with kids from all different backgrounds. So far so good.

No: I want my daughters to be part of the wider local community, in a way that the self- selecting HE community can't provide.

That, and I'd get bored.

What a definite view you have there motherinferior. Shame it doesn't add up. Do you imagine that HE families only socialise, live, shop, eat, visit, holiday with other HE families? In some kind of weird living area where only HE families live?

The only thing a HE child doesn't have is the school experience which is nothing to do with wider socialisation. And actually many of them do have a few years of school under their belts or return to it later.

This thread has really amused and astonished me, that so many people hold so many incorrect views of something they have absolutely no experience off but declaim them as though they are unarguable fact.

This thread has impressed me so far, in that it's been pretty respectful and hasn't decended into argument and criticism as is usual for HE threads. It would be so nice if it can stay that way . Not suggesting it is deteriorating btw, just saying it makes a nice change to have a proper discussion instead of a row.

Well, this has been an interesting read. Disappointed (and slightly amused) but not surprised to see so many misconceptions and judgements made about the home educating community, something many of you seem to have little or no direct experience of. It's telling that the vast majority of people criticising home ed have had no direct first hand experience of it, whereas the vast majority of people who have home educated their own children are singing it's praises.

My kids are home educated and it's by far the best thing we've ever done. They are thriving both academically and socially, mix with both school children and other home ed children and have a social life which is the envy of many of their school friends. They are involved in numerous activities both home ed and mainstream and are happy, bright, engaged children with a love of learning. They know they can give school a try if ever they want to but so far have not chosen to do so. I have no worries about their academic or emotional wellbeing and of all the people we know who are or were home educated, all of them are thriving and I haven't met a single one yet who regrets not having gone to (or stayed in) school.

The idea that home educated kids are odd or weird is an interesting one, because of course, school never has any 'odd' kids, does it?! Except that I know it does because I was one of them, and bullied mercillously for it. Are home ed kids really 'odd' just because they're home educated, or are they perhaps home educated because they were seen as 'odd' in school and taunted for it?

The idea that home ed kids don't socialise or have a limited social circle is probably the biggest of all the home ed myths. There are home edders from all walks of life, all social classes, all backgrounds. I saw someone earlier say that they've never seen anyone from a working class background say that they home ed, well here we are! My husband works full time, I am a SAHM, we are on a very low income but that's a choice we make in order to be able to home ed. I know very few home ed families who are particularly affluent. Not only do home ed kids spend time with other home ed kids of varying ages, lifestyles and backgrounds, but with the wider community too. My kids have a close relationship with their (school going) cousins, with local children, with friends, family and people in the community, in fact the vast majority of people we are close to do not home educate. My children are not isolated in any way.

I think some of you must have blocked out your childhoods, because as I remember it, a lot of the values schools teach aren't positive ones at all, the main one being that if you stand out as different in any way you'll become a target of relentless bullying and sometimes physical abuse. You only have to Google 'school makes me ...' to see how many children feel about school, the most popular searches being 'school makes me cry/feel sick/cut/want to die/feel stupid/feel sad/feel anxious'.

It is ironic that many of you say you feel are 'too stupid' to teach your children. If the education system has made you feel that way, why would you want to put your children into that same system?

Home educated children can take GCSEs, they can go to college and uni, they can have sports days, Xmas plays, join choirs and sports teams ... I have not yet come across anything which school can offer that the home ed community can't do as well or better.

Home ed is not the right choice for all families just as school isn't, but it certainly isn't a poor second to school, and school is not a garauntee or either academic success or emotional wellbeing - the amount of kids coming out of school with few or poor qualifications and low self esteem are testament to that.

I would urge those of you who are on the fence to do some proper research into home ed, get past some of the myths and misconceptions and find out what home ed really is, you might be surprised.

Re unschooling & 'illerate at 8 or 9': I know kids who learnt to read around 8/9/10 and who are now zooming through academic qualifications. They learnt quickly and very quickly read at an age-appropriate level. It's important to remember too that the role of reading in learning is far less vital in a home setting, with one adult to maybe one or two children.

I know children who aren't reading yet but who have lots of passion for learning via TV/YouTube/Siri/talking to forest school leaders, museum/art gallery/zoo workers & of course to their parents.

I appreciate it seems strange in a culture where most kids are learning at 4/5, but so long as children can read well - and willingly, enthusiastically - by their teens, I don't think they'd necessarily be disadvantaged.

Illiterate at 8 or 9 is not necessarily a problem. I know two children who were in this boat-though way ahead in other areas-and learned to read in a week when they suddenly felt it was time.

I wouldn't have the nerve, though.

But some children really struggle to read. If they do not start to learn until they are 10 or older, I would worry these children will never learn.

Lots of children struggle to read at 5. Perhaps they're not ready?

Yes I know there is an idea of being ready to read. At my school everyone could read by the time they were 6, including those for whom English was not their first language. In my sisters school, they were tested to see if they were ready to read. My sister was always judged not to be ready. In the end she was getting so behind my mum kept her off school for a week and taught her to read.

A close friend of mine was home schooled and didn't write until he was about 11. He could read but showed no interest in writing at all, so his mother didn't push it. Has had no ill effect on his life or career.

On the flip side, my ds has absolutely loved learning to read and write at school. It's like a secret world has unfolded before his eyes and he can't get enough. It is wonderful to watch. I haven't pushed it though, and the rate the school is going with is fine for him. I can imagine it would be awful if he hated it though. My friends who home school seem to think my son has had reading and writing forced into him at school, but it hasn't been like that at all. He loves it, but they don't seem to get that as they think it should only be taught once the child is 7. It would have driven ds mad having to wait that long!

Look at Finland, they don't teach children to read until they are much older than the UK with phonics at three. If the result is a happy, well adjusted and literate adult then does it matter which route they chose to get there?

I agree bellanotte22.

No not in a million years. Qualified teacher (do a different job at the moment) so in theory I'd have the skills, but I rather like my job thanks, and want the interest and achievement that comes with that.

Ive outsourced my children's learning to enable me to get on and enjoy what I'm doing in the day.

They like school and I'm fresh then to do further learning with them after school and holidays as its a change for me too.

I wonder how home schooling is possible without lots of cash. I certainly couldn't afford to do it. Extra cash for clubs, outings etc. Is it possible to do on a tight budget?

I think part of the problem is that we've become conditioned to expect certain skills and abilities to be in place by a particular age, but not all children will reach those milestones at the same time. I agree that as long as they can function effectively as an adult, and live independently, it doesn't really matter which route they take. So much emphasis is place on getting good GCSEs at 16 but it doesn't have to be then, and a lot of home educated kids take them after that, which is fine. Same goes for things like reading, SATS, personal care. Unless there are SNs causing more severe delays, they all catch up eventually. There aren't many adults who can't tie their shoelaces or wipe their bums, but we get all wound up about it when they're children if they're not keeping pace with their peers.