to ask if you would consider home education?

[SundayBea]

Have read a lot of articles recently on how the numbers in home education have 'exploded' and it's on the rise by 80% a year apparently. I know of three families I think quite highly of, two of whom are ex-teachers whose children have never been to school and their children seem to be having an exceptional upbringing and education with so many fantastic experiences and opportunities. Also know of two other families who have withdrawn their children from school because of problems with their respective schools and I'm less certain of how successful it is going to be for them. Also know of several colleagues and DH's cousin who have DC under 5 who are debating not registering them when the time comes. Is this a big thing now or is it just coincidence I know of so many families like this? I was just wondering what the general consensus was.. when I mentioned socialisation one of my ex-teacher friends showed me the Facebook group she is in for her local home education community and I was amazed at the plethora of groups, classes, meet ups and outings with hundreds of members.. just for her local county! Have been debating with DP what to do about schooling at private school is unfortunately out of the question on our current salaries.. I'm now feeling like I've discovered a whole new option I hadn't considered? Sorry if this is rambling, only getting a 5 minute lunch break today!

It has to be the right match though with child and parent just like a school.

It won't work if the parent feels forced to do it, or both of you annoy the hell out of each other!
My child's school gets more work out of my DD2 who has SN than what I could ever do.

I wish I could HE my DD at uni though she'd be a lot happier!

I think it's the quality (or lack thereof) of the training. It's presented as expertise, but you can't gain expertise unless you've worked with children for years, decades even, and done loads of background reading and research. Parents are living with autism round the clock and yes, their experiences and knowledge should be taken into account far more than they are at present. But if school staff are led to believe that their two hours or whatever of minimal training makes them better equipped to know and understand children with autism better than their parents do, then it's not surprising that they feel undermined and defensive if parents then challenge them on the support they're giving. We need more honesty. Autism is a very complex area, as are most SNs, and teachers aren't necessarily the experts.

Here Phil, have a and calm down .

It won't work if the parent feels forced to do it

Not necessarily Head. HE was the last route I wanted to take but it's been incredibly successful for us. My LA's EHE officer refers to us as a positive example of how HE can be, when talking to new home educators and other departments at the LA. Very often those who've been forced into HE are the ones who get more from their children, because they are bloody-mindedly determined to show what their children are capable of with the right support.

We do annoy the hell out of each other though, that's true . But that's parenting, I reckon. We work around it.

"It won't work if the parent feels forced to do it"

Why on earth not?

I would consider HE - it would have been my option if Ds' second school failed him (I pulled him out of state nursery and he started reception year at him school. He's yr2 now).
As much as I believe HE is the better option for him he does enjoy school.

An ideal solution for me would be around 2 days in school, with about half his class. Imagine what a teacher could achieve with smaller classes. Two days in school for maths, English and some science & art. Repeated over the next two days with the other half of the class.

Well if I was forced I'd feel angry towards my DD, bitter at my lack of work opportunities for myself, and I would resent it.

I can't see in those circumstances it would work. I spent a good deal of time in her early days in a caring role, so I rather like my freedom I have now!

Besides I think we'd come to blows!

Well if I was forced I'd feel angry towards my DD

Why at your DD?

I understand your view Head but that doesn't mean it wouldn't work for every parent who felt forced into HE. I've seen some very successful outcomes for that group.

I was forced into it. I would never feel angry at my DS though because it isn't his fault. I'm struggling to understand how anyone could feel angry towards their child who had been failed elsewhere causing this situation to be honest.

It's just another part of being a parent as far as I'm concerned. I'm responsible for my child's education, welfare, happiness and development. I chose to have him so I take the punches. In some respects it's no different to your child being ill. It's not what you planned, it's bloody hard work, but it's your kid so you get on with it.

To answer the OP, DD is in year 6, we are waiting to see if she gets into our school of choice. If she doesn't then chances are i am going to home school. This is because the alternative school is dire and DD has dyslexia and confidence issues.

Having spent a great deal of time having to care for her and be the bad guy you know the one who gives her her medication that she doesn't want and used to refuse but without which she's die...oh and not sleeping as this needs to be done at regular intervals...I have nothing left to give quite frankly. It has made the relationship very difficult.

Are you saying you would deny me that break?

Many years down the line I recognise that I need things too, I can't be the self sacrificing person always. I am not a saint.

It has to work for both of you. Like infant feeding. No doubt breast is best but I wouldn't criticise anyone for going for formula if it works for them.

Some people need to pop across to the Sen boards and read about the troubles with the schools. What the parents are up against. And then you might understand why people with kids who have Sen are forced to HE.

Sand the lying and denial from the school is unbelievable. The head teacher sat in a meeting and told me my son didn't have autism. I felt like, but obviously didn't, showing the dx letter up his smug arse.

Tbh before I became involved in the SN system, I truly believed that schools and LAs had the best interests of the child at heart (naive numpty that I was). I now know differently - there is an agenda and it's usually about lack of awareness and money. But it was a shock to realise that nobody actually cared about my child except me.

I think, realistically, few people outside the SN system can fully understand how dreadful it is and how hard it is to get even the most basic support provision for even the neediest of children. I look back to when I thought all children got the support they needed, and this was when there was money in the pot and budgets weren't as restricted as they are now, and I had a lot of the same assumptions then that most mainstream parents have now. It's virtually impossible now to get adequate support in schools, and that goes some way to explaining the increase in home education, especially where there are additional needs.

It's dreadful you aren't getting the help you need. I have every sympathy. We got nil help for our DD with SN and what was expected of us was ridiculous. The alternative was to leave her in hospital! I needed certain syringes and would you believe there was no system In place at the time to provide these for use at home.

However I have to say the provision in schools has been very good for her and we have been very fortunate.

The HT at ds first school never attended a single multi disciplinary meeting about him. The Ed Psych made a point of mentioning it and ensuring that it appeared in the minutes, she was disgusted by it. That HT used to wait for me and collar me in the play ground at drop off to bitch about ds most mornings though, she managed to find time for that. And then I would generally get to see her again later that morning for more bitching, usually an hour or so later when ds melted down and had to picked up.

Then he went to the ASD unit where he came home every day covered in bruises and abrasions from being restrained man handled and where THAT HT also managed to find time to bitch endlessly about him, labelling my pretty much non verbal, at the time, child "manipulative", "naughty" and "violent". That's where he was assaulted in the end.

Good times.

Awful Nicki. The HT at my son's first school described him as 'the most violent child with Asperger's I've ever known' yet still didn't think that warranted statutory assessment to get him a statement and support that the school clearly couldn't provide without it. She manipulated the situation so that we'd take him elsewhere. I later learned that she told prospective parents, doing the rounds of schools looking for suitable places for their children, that they had no experience of working with children with autism and advised that those children would be better provided for elsewhere. And off those parents went, thinking how honest and helpful this lovely woman had been. She'd actually had several children with autism in her school, all of whom had been badly treated and unsupported because she simply didn't want them there and refused to train her staff to help them. Of course she got what she wanted - who in their right mind is going to press the LA for a place at a school that's admitted they don't know how to support autism? She got away with it for years until she retired.

crazyloophole I do hope your comment was not aimed at me. I recognise that we have been very fortunate in the provision in schools for our DD which is clearly not the case for everyone.

However particularly in the early years we were more concerned with keeping her alive.

www.theguardian.com/education/2008/aug/19/schools.education?CMP=share_btn_fb

Head not at all! It was just a general comment on the thread replies. Apologies if you took it aimed at you. I had actually got mad a few posters in my head and posted it well before I had read the whole thread. Apologies again.

I do feel very angry though at how some of your children have been treated. Having struggled to get support for us to cope as a family due to DDs medical needs I do feel we leave parents out on a limb more than necessary.

Evidence that HE kids can do great after HE

www.irishexaminer.com/lifestyle/features/meet-the-families-where-children-blossomed-after-being-homeschooled-377064.html

I have ended up home schooling my 13 yr old, as she has physical problems including joints frequently dislocating, and also suffers from anxiety and depression. Home ed has taken a lot of the stress away and she can work at her own pace (some days she's in too much pain). We worked out a timetable, and I bought the textbooks which cover the whole of the KS3 syllabus. Early days but working well so far. She's a bright girl and is good at working independently, and I'm always around to help when needed.

yes certainly i would up to secondary. Not sure id have the knowledge to continue with it after that and also i think teens really need to be around lots of other people not just a small group.
Im really considering this even though my DH doesnt think it will happen (altho says hed support me if it is what i decide is best in the end) Im considering it also because all of both sides of our family live abroad and so to have any kind of relationship with them we would need to travel with our son. Travelling in the school holidays only would really limit us as we are not going to be able to afford to do that on a regular basis as the prices are so high at those times.
Im also very worried about the amount of testing in primary school. I sufferred from anxiety that was pretty crippling throughout school and whilst i dont know if my son will have the same personality he may well do and id hate to think of the effect all that testing might have on his love of learning.