to ask if you would consider home education?

[SundayBea]

Have read a lot of articles recently on how the numbers in home education have 'exploded' and it's on the rise by 80% a year apparently. I know of three families I think quite highly of, two of whom are ex-teachers whose children have never been to school and their children seem to be having an exceptional upbringing and education with so many fantastic experiences and opportunities. Also know of two other families who have withdrawn their children from school because of problems with their respective schools and I'm less certain of how successful it is going to be for them. Also know of several colleagues and DH's cousin who have DC under 5 who are debating not registering them when the time comes. Is this a big thing now or is it just coincidence I know of so many families like this? I was just wondering what the general consensus was.. when I mentioned socialisation one of my ex-teacher friends showed me the Facebook group she is in for her local home education community and I was amazed at the plethora of groups, classes, meet ups and outings with hundreds of members.. just for her local county! Have been debating with DP what to do about schooling at private school is unfortunately out of the question on our current salaries.. I'm now feeling like I've discovered a whole new option I hadn't considered? Sorry if this is rambling, only getting a 5 minute lunch break today!

I've not read the full thread but yes I would. My son had a hard year 7. Year 8 has been much better but if I thought it was going backwards again I would home-school (although in a more structured way eg by enrolling him at Interhigh).

I do agree with this DS benefits from learning to bumble along with a variety of characters - both pupils and teachers. and also kids learn to deal with petty officialdom - how often do we debate silly school rules on here? But ultimately your child only has one life and if they are really miserable or not making progress or can't cope, or all three, home-schooling is a good potential option and it doesn't have to be for ever.

I am glad we have the option here, in Germany you can't do it. I'm not sure what happens if your child has special needs or is relentlessly bullied, or both.

I think the experiences of having to get on with other children who you don't get on with, don't like, and who don't like you and managing to get by with them and work together give invaluable lessons and life skills you will never get from mainstream education.

I know a significant amount of children who are home educated and most of them whilst being very knowledgable and pleasant appear stilted and absurdly adult in their manner. I can't help but think that although academically they often do incredibly well, school is more about the subtleties of socialisation and managing to get on with things even with distractions in class and difficult work mates.

So no, I like the idea of home education but I think for the vast majority it isn't the best way forward.

We have just begun the journey again for the second time with our son, due to break down in communication and understanding of his needs in main stream school.

We did plenty of research again, last time he was 5yrs so an easier age, this time around he is nearly 13 and in Yr8. seeing your child so anxious and struggling every day and wishing himself dead we felt as parents we had no other option. He is the youngest of 4. The older three are main stream school studying GCSE's and A' levels with one at University. So we know it can work, but for him and us we needed "time out"

We de-registered in November have been deschooling, already friends and relatives have noticed a positive difference in him.

Last week he started with Interhigh and so far he is enjoying it, attending all lessons and even completing homework. He is relaxed, has his best friend by his side during lessons- Gizmo the dog.

We have joined a local HE group for us to keep informed of local activities that he may want to get involved in.

He attends cadets twice a week, now enjoys drum lessons.

As always when you mention HE the first word that is mouthed is socialising our child cannot do that easily anyway due to his Autism and anxieties but he is trying. But our idea of socialising is different to that of my other children one likes to sit at home of evening and skype, the other texts, snapchat or whats app and goes out once a week. No-one has told us they have social issues it has been accepted as normality for teenagers so why should this be any different for a HE child.

Please have look at our local website. If you don't have much time, please at least have a look at the 'Round Up of Events' section and the personal experiences section ... then come back and still tell us that home educated kids are unsocialised or that parents need to be teachers to home educate. I get so fed up of people forming an opinion on something they have no experience or knowledge of.
www.syhec.co.uk

I'm by no means against HE in the right circumstances and think it's perfectly possible to socialise HE children without difficulty.

But to say that this events round up page proves the steoreotpical opinion wrong is inaccurate, I think - there's very little on unless you are around 8-11 years old and live in Sheffield it seems. The only option for children in Rotherham is a monthly rollerskating session. There's very little for teenagers anywhere.

It seems to me like you must need to take older children or children not in Sheffield to ordinary evening activities attended by schooled children too, don't you? Or at least organise things among yourselves or find stuff that is already on during the day, not specifically for children.

I had one HE friend when I was at school. I knew her through youth orchestra, youth choir and youth theatre. She was very well socialised but it was all in the evenings. During the day she worked at home and with tutors.

Yes I very seriously considered & firmly rejected HE.
Don't mind if other people do it.
A lot of friends/family HE.
I threaten to HE DC when they annoy me .

gawd, we would all be so extremely miserable.

I have nothing against HE in itself but I wouldn't like to do it myself. DS seems to learn better from people to whom he has no emotional attachment, whether in terms of academics or swimming. I have great trouble getting him to practice reading, writing, maths etc at home whereas he will do it at school. I also like to have a bit of a break from him sometimes and I would worry about socialization. I know there are lots of HE groups but I feel the onus would be more on me to ensure DS can make friends in this respect.

When I was about 13 my dad tried to teach me the language of the country where he grew up - I found it very difficult whereas it was much bbetter when I did a course as an adult. I would worry with DS as he got older that I wouldn't have a clue about teaching.

Yes, I was going to, but my school-obsessed child wanted to go to school.

She's in Reception and so far I haven't regretted it. I'm happier now with a part-time job, having less time at home (not an outdoorsy kid), and not having to arrange all the social stuff. DD is learning stuff she wouldn't have accepted from me (like social stories about trying your best, she's a perfectionist) and seems to like school aside from noisy lunchtimes.

We're very close friends with a family who HE.

It's been extremely successful and relaxed. The DC are very happy.

The eldest two are in university. ( one at Cambridge no less). There are two at GCSE and A level stage and a little one.

Yes we did, it worked for us at the time.
Great if it's what you and your dc want to do.
We have no regrets and if current school doesn't work out (highly unlikely) we would do it again.

I know a few HE children that match your description of adult and stilted in manner and are as you describe excited but they were always like that, right from when they began to speak and interact and it meant that they struggled massively in school and a number of them were viciously bullied. And if we are honest we ALL knew kids like that at school and they didn't have an easy time of it. So, personally I don't think it's possible to say that this kind of personality is definitely as a result of HE because you don't know if they were just that kind of personality.

My conclusions of four years of HE are that there are many children, boys, especially who are removed or never started because they couldn't cope in a that environment. Not enough to get a diagnosis of a spectrum disorder but certainly enough that they were miserable in that environment.

Also that HE kids are less stressed and much more accepting of those kinds of differences.

And finally when I see my son and his mates bumbling up the road in their matchy,matchy trainers, with their hoods up, engrossed in their phones there is absolutely no difference between them and all the main stream school kids I see milling about.

My son wouldn't have that peer group if he was in school. He didn't and couldn't make friends there. I wish more people understood what is available and that for many going to formal school is just one of many options for becoming educated.

This always makes me smile. It's pretty close

nicki I would say SEN is more prevalent in the HE community than in mainstream school precisely because parents know school won't suit their child, or they've tried it and found it inappropriate.

Of the HE families spoken to during the Badman report, a huge number had DC with SEN.

I would not be surprised if numbers had risen since then do to the cut backs in provision in school.

I'd love to homeschool. I cannot for financial reasons.

I would never say never - if illness or other issues dictated it was the best (or only) option then of course I would consider it.

As things stand now though, it's not for us.

Perhaps we've just been lucky with our schools but they have so far been lovely nurturing environments. I have a huge amount of respect for the skills of my dcs' teachers - and I don't just mean classroom management but deep understanding of how children learn. Dc1 is in year 7 now and the other thing that strikes me is that I could never provide the breadth of knowledge, experience and actual facilities and equipment that he gets from school.

Judging by how homework sessions go, the dynamic wouldn't work for us either

That's just my view of my own situation however - no judgement on others who make different choices.

I do think there should be some oversight over HE kids. I always remember the thread on MN of a mother who had started to HE because she could not cope with the stress of getting all her kids to school on time.

Sadly I think you're completely on the money there Eric with regard to lack of SEN provision , I agree that HE popularity will continue to grow for that reason and as the education system grows ever more narrow and rigid more of these kids will be forced out. I am seeing it at every group we go to.

No. Never would I. My children need a better education than one I could provide. They also need to learn how the world works outside our family unit, and I'd not want to deprive them of their friendship circles and right to a life without my influence.

I find HE families terribly stifling. Not meant as an insult, I only know a few, but there seems to be no breathing space for any of the children I've met.

I've never really considered it, since I'm a teacher...if I taught my kids at home Why would I do that we'd be down a salary. Strangely enough I'm all for state education. My kids are those rare creatures who love their schools and seeing their mates. They spent every ruddy day of their MY holidays counting down until the schools go back.

I do wonder where these strenuous, accusatory and often pretty offensive assumptions about HE come from given that those holding them generally have no real experience whatsoever. HE does seem to be one of those philosophies that is open to attack without any kind of restraint. I always imagine that kind of response to something means people are threatened by it but I don't really understand why anyone would be.

No. I love my kids but I don't want to spend 24 hours a day with them considering ther every need including educationally - not long term anyway. I like my job and enjoy the adult interaction, I would hate to homeschool.

AliveAlone you asked how I would know. Partly because of my work and partly because it's a very small, rural community here - in the village everyone knows everyone and each others' business, and in the next 'big' town (which is still very small), it's exactly the same. A quick google doesn't bring up any results for local HE groups either (the nearest one is 65 miles away and has to cover a huge area).

It's a shame - I would genuinely have considered it if there were more opportunities available. That said, DS is thriving in our local primary school (school roll 56).

No, but my ds goes to a steiner school.

God, I'd home educate in a heartbeat if my only other option was Steiner!

I have just looked at what is available in my area. There is quite a lot, which does not surprise me as I know several families who HE, in spite of not being part of HE circles at all. But the resources are mainly creative or sporting ones.

Someone up thread said their child had to go back to school at 6th form to study sciences as they needed access to labs. HE works for some subjects, but for some, HE families will never have the necessary resources. Yes you can send them to college to do GCSEs or back to school, but there are limits.