I've not RTFT, will do so later.
We very nearly HEd from the start, but decided to give school a go as DD flourished at nursery. We always said that we would HE if either DC was unhappy at school.
In the event, they got to yr3 and yr1 and then they were both very unhappy. DD in her new junior school was mercilessly bullied, DS was just really miserable about it and hated going. We kept trying for a while but for a couple of reasons just reached our 'line in the sand' moment with both schools, I couldn't bear the thought of sending them back into a place where they felt so unsafe, and after the February half term last year they didn't go back.
We are very lucky round here that there is a thriving HE community. I'd been so worried about the social aspects but now I laugh at that because their social life is far busier and more varied than it was before. The DCs have made loads more friends and so have I! They do heaps of activities, some regular like rock climbing and creative writing, some one-off workshops at museums and stuff. I do think it's a bit of a lottery as to the local 'scene' because if there weren't so many families around and therefore loads of different activities going on, we would probably struggle, particularly as we don't drive so can't go too far.
We never had time to do all these before because the DCs were so wrung out from school that all they could do was crash (I know a lot of DCs aren't like that BTW, mine are almost certainly both on the autistic spectrum like me). It costs a fair bit but I have started giving music lessons as that's a skill I have, mostly I am paid in cash (and am registering as self employed) but we also do skills swaps, so my DCs might get lessons in martial arts or something from another parent in exchange for me teaching piano to their DCs.
As for work, we're still finding our way really but we are sort of semi structured. Numeracy and literacy are non-negotiable, we have a routine that fits them in. Other topics are led partly by their interests and questions,for example DS asked what his veins were so we did a topic about blood, made blood cells out of clay etc, DD recently asked why there was more rain and flooding so we are doing the water cycle, doing evaporation experiments and that kind of thing. They are obsessed with Egypt so that's inspired loads of work and trips to museums. Again, I know that lots of people do this kind of thing outside school but for our DCs it just wasn't possible on top of a long hard day at school. We're going to the Escher exhibition tomorrow and that's really inspired them.
A lot of people ask how I can manage preparing the work but TBH we play it by ear and a lot of it is done with them, rather than for them IYSWIM, we come up with project ideas together and they are really involved in the planning and researching. For example yesterday they were asking about 'those things they look out of submarines with' :o so we're now finding out how to make our own periscopes. The internet is really great for ideas, I joined lots of HE-specific groups on FB and people are always sharing projects and resources. Lots of companies send out free stuff to schools and HE families on request. I absolutely love coming up with ideas, this is a dream come true for me TBH. I am a geek, though. :o
But more important than that is the improvement in their mental health, particularly DD who was incredibly anxious. She's been discharged from CAMHS because they could see how much she's improved since leaving school, she no longer has stress migraines and panic attacks. Above all that's what it's about for me. :)
Sorry for the waffle. 