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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to ask for priority boarding?

39 replies

booksrock · 14/01/2016 12:35

I am a frequent flyer and love it, so no issues. DH hasn't flown for a few years and gets very unwell. DT (6) have never flown

DT1 is scared at the thought of flying and gets very anxious and clingy.
DT2 is obsessed with death and will keep asking if we are going to die.

Would I be unreasonable to ask to board the plane first so I can get the DC settled first before everyone else boards? I was planning on having them either side of me in the three, and DH somewhere else next to a window so he can cope.

OP posts:
Lucyccfc · 14/01/2016 12:36

Pre book seats and priority boarding.

Original poster
booksrock · 14/01/2016 12:40

I would definitely pre book seats, I used to all that from my business flights and know exactly where in the plane I like to sit.

OP posts:
CMOTDibbler · 14/01/2016 12:40

Prebook seats, and board as late as possible so you get on and go with as little time in between to get wound up.

TBH, barring any SN, DT2 should be told that it is not an appropriate subject for discussions on planes and you don't want to hear it.

stayathomegardener · 14/01/2016 12:40

I would be concerned as to why 6 year olds are so worried about flying and assume this is something they have picked up from your DH, most 6 year olds would be excited by a first flight, with I assume a nice holiday at the other end.
I think asking to priority board underlines the anxiety and would not be positive for DT's much better to breeze on with everyone else and hope you can overcome their anxietys before they become entrenched.

specialsubject · 14/01/2016 12:41

I wonder why you are flying at all....

priority boarding just means more time to scream on the plane, but worth a go.

how about some lessons for the kids - bit young for the physics of it but talk them through what happens, the fun bit as it takes off, the view out the window, the endless TV and free food and so on.

BIWI · 14/01/2016 12:42

Families with kids usually get priority boarding anyway, don't they?

Original poster
booksrock · 14/01/2016 12:46

they wouldn't scream, they are 6, not babies.

DT1 doesn't like being in a crowd of people, which is why I thought about priority boarding, tbf neither do I which is why I stand at the front of the queue to board. They will probably like it when they are on the plane and have their snacks and tablets, its just the getting on that might be an issue.

Why am I bothering? Because I would like to go on holiday to somewhere hot, somewhere my children have never been to and I want them to experience new things.

DT2 has very important reasons why he is worried about death, but we do try to get him not to discuss it in inappropriate places.

OP posts:
StepAwayFromTheThesaurus · 14/01/2016 12:54

I'd wait until the end and get on last. That minimises the crowds issue.

Katenka · 14/01/2016 13:05

I am a nervous flyer. Personally I think it's better getting on last.

At 6, he should understand that's not the time or the place to talk about dying and that it upsets dt1.

Personally I think you should see if you can pay for it. But ask, if they say yes it's a bonus

Birdsgottafly · 14/01/2016 13:06

I also think that getting on first, would be a bad idea.

Everyone is crowded on, putting overhead luggage away and boarding can take around half an hour, depending on what's going on.

I'd get on last.

rudolphistheboss · 14/01/2016 13:10

Prebook seats so you don't have to rush on with everyone else. Get on last, sit down. Sweets/snacks and magazines/new story books for take off. I think getting on first then having to wait for everyone else would be more stressful. Good luck!

theycallmemellojello · 14/01/2016 13:21

Sorry what is dt? Anyway I'm another who thinks that making a big deal of it is just going to upset the kids. At that age if you just act like it's normal they'll assume it is.

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 14/01/2016 13:24

So you've already booked priority boarding?

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 14/01/2016 13:29

I think it might be worse being on first then having everyone bustling around you. Especially if one of the children is in an aisle seat. People will be squeezing past each other to get to their seats, leaning up to put things in the overheard lockers etc. I always find that bit quite claustrophobic and I'm an adult.

TheWitTank · 14/01/2016 13:30

I think I would actually prefer to get on last. Less time in a squashed line getting and with people bashing you in the head getting their bags in the overhead bins. I never get why people stampede to get on first as if it's a good thing to be sitting any longer in cramped seat! Sit calmly at the gate, don't make a big deal or fuss about how safe it is. Get them some magazines and books as a distraction, encourage them to plug into a film (if you are long haul). My son was anxious about flying to America last year, I got him an eye spy airport book which kept him busy for quite a while, we walked about a lot looking at things, all nice and calm. He found it fine when we were up there and he was engrossed in a film! Enjoy your holiday!

GruntledOne · 14/01/2016 13:30

In what way does DH get unwell? If he gets travel sick, can he dose up beforehand on anti-nausea pills? They're quite effective these days.

Between now and when you go you really need to work on DT2's discussions about death, as he's liable to freak out other passengers as well if he keeps asking about it and boarding early won't remedy that.

Original poster
booksrock · 14/01/2016 13:32

I haven't booked the flights yet. With work I fly BA or equivalent and they offer it to those who need it. As we will probably by flying Thomas or someone like it I will pay if I need it. This is the first time flying with DT and I want to make it as easy as possible. I call it damage limitation, or why set them up to fail? For all I know they might love flying and this all be over cautious but one thing I have learned with my two is that you cannot be over prepared.

OP posts:
TheTigerIsOut · 14/01/2016 13:33

The only reason I would book priority boarding is to ensure my cabin luggage is not sent down to the hold at the last minute, and that is because it carries medicines that I need for the trip.

But I understand you want to stress as little as possible, and also, that not nany years ago, all families with children their age would have been given the option to board first, so... If you want to pay for it, I see no problem with that.

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 14/01/2016 13:33

It's a non issue if you are paying for it. Why is it a 'aibu'?

Justaboy · 14/01/2016 13:38

My DD1 was actually flying gliders at 8 years old c/w an instructor and has never had a fear of flying.

As to your partner see how he reacts to the dire knowledge that he is umpteen times more likely to die in a car crash on his way to the the airport then he ever is in a plane!.

Which is quite remarkable. OK there are some duff airlines around but not UK ones look at BA, Easy jet and the much derided Ryanair but look at their safety records anyone ever remember when they lost a passenger last and see the number of aircraft moments every day? Thousands of them.

Have a gander at this site and see the number over the UK and near Europe. That might put it in perspective:-)

www.flightradar24.com

click on each aircraft and see where it's from and going to, many happy hours of fun;)

DeepestDarkestRiver · 14/01/2016 13:40

TheWitTank, I can tell you why people rush to get on first. People bring much bigger bags on board these days, and flights are often packed, so if you have anything that you want to put in the overhead locker, you need to get there early or all the space will be taken. If your bag is too big to go under the seat, then it will be put in the hold, or in a very inconveniently located locker nowhere near you.

People also ask to move around if they haven't been seated with family, or just sit in empty seats (and sometimes make a fuss about moving), and chuck their blanket wrappers/other rubbish, on seats that aren't yet filled.

I travel fairly regularly for work, and watch all of this happening from the comfort of my seat, which I get to nice and early Grin.

But to each their own!

Original poster
booksrock · 14/01/2016 13:40

DH isn't scared of flying. It more a travel sick thing, and transport makes him very unwell! Don't know where DH1 has got his fear from, but I'm hoping to lose it now before it becomes a big issue.

OP posts:
sparechange · 14/01/2016 13:42

MumOnTheRun
With budget airlines, you can pay for speedy boarding etc
With BA etc, you can ask them if you can have priority boarding ahead of them calling business class/seat numbers, so anyone with additional needs can take their time to get into their seat

I think OPs AIBU relates to whether she is justified in making a request to BA, not whether she should pony up the extra tenner to EasyJet

Original poster
booksrock · 14/01/2016 13:42

deepest that's why I get in first as well. I want my overhead luggage to be near me so I can be off the flight and halfway home as soon as possible. I realise travelling with my DT will be different :-)

OP posts:
LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 14/01/2016 13:45

We've been offered this before when we had toddlers - seats all reserved anyway but the chance to get on first. I used to send dh as an advance party to get our hand luggage sorted and then I hung out with the littlies until the last possible moment.

You should maybe book your dh onto a fear of flying course? I hear they are excellent (not sure if they do them for children) Perhaps there are other ways to tackle the children's anxiety around flying?

Hope when you actually get on board it's better than you expect.