WIBU to ask for priority boarding?

[booksrock]

I am a frequent flyer and love it, so no issues. DH hasn't flown for a few years and gets very unwell. DT (6) have never flown

DT1 is scared at the thought of flying and gets very anxious and clingy.
DT2 is obsessed with death and will keep asking if we are going to die.

Would I be unreasonable to ask to board the plane first so I can get the DC settled first before everyone else boards? I was planning on having them either side of me in the three, and DH somewhere else next to a window so he can cope.

My DD has been through long flights when young (we flew transatlantic and then a short hop when she was 5, and many more, including 2 more transatlantics, since then).

One thing that helped was having a few parcels in my carryon. She could rummage and pick one every hour to open. They were wrapped up, and had things like crayons and colouring sheets, playdoh-type stuff, a small toy set, a kaleidescope, a magic drawing thing (plastic that you "write" on with a plastic stylus to draw lines/pictures and pull out to erase), a pack of cards, new edition of favourite magazine and a new travel game. Tiger is great for travel bits and bobs or Poundtretcher type places.

Magnetic travel games are great - ludo, snakes and ladders, monopoly, connect 4, hungry hippos etc.

Bring snacks and let them help choose them.

Let them buy a book/magazine in the airport to read on the plane. And while you buy water, let them buy a treat (drink or sweets/crisps) for on board as well. Relax over hot chocolate if you have time, and try to make sure you have time to keep stress levels down (both in stopping to enjoy and also not chasing through security and running for planes).

Another thing I found later on (and also after DD's ASD DX) was that Manchester Airport has an autism guide. Before you scoff, it is a very clear guide to children about what to expect going through an airport and getting on a plane - including lots of pictures of what to expect to see and talks about noisy places and lots of people. Dublin Airport also has one, and I suspect that more airports have them now as they are so uiseful. So have a look at your planned airport's website for one, and if not, look at another airport and say it will be like this but may look a little different in our airport. But it takes the fear out of lots of the process - my DSis has used it for her (non-autism spectrum) DCs and loved it too.

Plan your bags too - in your carryon, have a change of clothes for everyone (accidents can happen, airlines can lose luggage etc). But try to have 1 bag that goes straight up overhead (spare clothes etc), and another that goes at your feet with everything you need on board - snacks, distractions, your own book etc. Headphones are also great, and tech like iPads or DVD players. And let each DT have a small bag with their "treasures" - maybe own favourite bear, an extra jumper in case it's cold on board, a small snack to use themselves (maybe even a small pack of jellies?).

Enjoy.

I think OPs AIBU relates to whether she is justified in making a request to BA, not whether she should pony up the extra tenner to EasyJet

She is probably flying with Thompson on this flight

Its useful to book seats just to the rear of the wings but where you can still see clouds etc. It's very distracting for children to point out what the wings are doing and how an airplane works, and that the loud clunking noise is the retractable wheels. My DH is a crap flier but not travel sick, and having this discussions with DD5 takes both their minds off it.
Appreciate it that if he is highly likely to vomit that you want him on an aisle away from the DT's. I was a terrible sympathy vomiter as a child, the smell and the gagging would set me off !!

I am a very, very nervous flyer having been involved in an incident. I find it much better to be the very last on. everyone else is in their seats, no one is hassling me to sit down quickly and I can literally walk on, sit down and the pre-flight starts. I also own a pair of really good, expensive head phones. blocking out the noise really, really helps me as well. I take them off for the safety info but keep them on the rest of the time.

if I got on first the whole thing would panic me.

I usually sit over the wing so don't have to look at the ground if I don't want to. I also make sure I have lots of different things to do and read because my concentration is completely crap.

I have heard other parents who give their child anti histamine medicine to make them drowsy and less aware. whether you want to do this or not is up to you.

I also found with my DC who was nervous that watching flights on youtube helped as it took the specialness out of it. DC realised that this was an every day thing and after about an hour of clips got bored and realised flying was boring and routine.

also, personally, I don't like people to pander to me about it. I prefer the "right if we want to go to X then you just have to get on this plane and get on with it" approach. cannot stand sympathy. you know your children best so know if any of this will work.

Nervous flier here and have been ever since I can remember, but not helped by falling through an air pocket in a thunder storm when I was nine and dropping several thousand feet in one hit .

Firstly, I would board as late as you possibly can. If DT1 is worried about the prospect of flying then the longer she is on the plane the longer she will have to anticipate all that is going on. Get something to distract them at the gate such as a book or a game or a packet of sweets, something that they didn't know was going to be there so will keep them amused while you wait to board.

If you're going somewhere with lots of things to do then talk about the things you will be doing when you get there. So they have something to look forward to. And once you're on the plane get out the in-flight entertainment schedule so they have an idea of what they will get to watch while on the flight. If you're travelling with an airline which doesn't have in-flight entertainment take a tablet or similar with lots of films downloaded which they can watch on that instead. Don't tell them what you've downloaded until you get on the plane so it will be a nice surprise/distraction.

Ultimately, distraction is everything the more they can think about other things, the less they will focus on the flying and being afraid of it. This is a big adventure. "See all the other planes? Wonder where all those people are going."

For me it was having a baby which made me change my habits, because I was determined that he wouldn't gain a fear of flying from me. So I managed to go from having to take Valium/sleeping pills (depending on the length of the flight) and travel sickness pills etc to ditching it all when I was TTC and we went to Australia, and then having to turn it all into a huge adventure for my DS when we first went on holiday when he was 2.5.

I will never be a relaxed flier, I hate take-off and any turbulence, and the thought is always in the back of my mind, but I am now at a point where I can board a plane without absolute dread that I am going to end up plummeting from the sky and never reach the destination. And you would never know that I was anxious because I manage to keep it hidden.

Good luck.

I took my Aspergers son on this course www.flyingwithoutfear.co.uk/ - I was very 'scoffy' about whether some 'talking' would get him on the next flight, but he did it - and the first flight we did after the course (which includes a small flight) was to Barbados, and then in the Summer we flew to Atlanta (totally outing myself to anyone who knows me)

Premium courses £267: Birmingham February 28th; Gatwick March 6th; Manchester April 10th. Ground courses £150: Heathrow February 7th; Leeds May 8th. Children's Course £367: Gatwick March 6th

I would do a short business class-type flight to a European city and make it as stress-free as possible to calm them down and get them used to flying, and only do cattle class after that once they had realised they were making a massive fuss about nothing. £££ but worth it I reckon.

If your DH gets travel sick, doesn't he need to be on the aisle rather than by the window?

Can't see if has been answered but what is DT? Don't think it means what it does where I work!

DT - dear twin

And if you work in a similar setting to me, DTs are completely different!

I pre-book seats at the time of ticket purchase and pre-board when traveling with my son who is 7 but he has autism. Never seen anyone in pre-boarding who is there just because they are nervous - it's people with disabilities and unaccompanied minors and people with very young children/babies. My son's autism is fairly obvious.

Ask the check in staff if it's possible, tell them why. They will usually put a note on the passenger list for the crew if someone has said they're nervous. Tell the crew too. They will keep an eye on you and try to help..

Yes wavesofthesea DTs is where mind was taken! OP hope all goes well