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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask someone to move their child out of my plane seat

1000 replies

kipperssippers · 13/01/2016 20:00

more of a WWYD then AIBU but...
i booked the seat by the window as i always do and when i got to my seat a child around 8 was in my seat with her mum beside her.
When i got there i told the mother that the window seat is my seat and she said her child wanted the window seat to look out, i then replied then you should of booked one.
I didnt want to cause a scene but the women made out i'm an arsehole for asking her kid to move as she had never been on a flight and wanted to look outside.
I did give in and stayed pissed off for 7 hours in my non window seat.

what would you of done in this situation?

OP posts:
TheCatsMeow · 14/01/2016 14:44

Bony in that instance kinder not to split up the 8 month olds family

MaidOfStars · 14/01/2016 14:44

I think it's sad we can't assume others will be kind

You don't know what the meaning of the word "kind" is then. You're looking for something akin to "benevolent" or even "obliging". Not "kind" though - by definition, you cannot assume kindness, it has to be freely given.

Captain Mainwaring

I very recently had one of those flash realisations re: Mainwaring and its pronunciation. I hadn't connected the two before.

TheCatsMeow · 14/01/2016 14:44

Why do you lot think it's okay to relentlessly take the piss because my view is different to yours? You're like schoolgirls grow up

TheCatsMeow · 14/01/2016 14:45

Maid benevolent may be a better description

PrivatePike · 14/01/2016 14:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Funinthesun15 · 14/01/2016 14:47

It's not racist to dislike a countries culture

It is YOUR culture too. Whether you like it or not YOU are English. Nothing about what you 'identify as'. It is a fact.

If you really hate England that much then give up your dual citizenship you won't though

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 14/01/2016 14:47

It's not racist to dislike a countries culture

It's rather shitty to live here and bitch about having to live here as if you weren't a part of that culture though.

sugar21 · 14/01/2016 14:47

My dd has an iphone6 but only because my exp bought it for her. She is spoiled by that manchild and his mother, and has become quite entitled.
Alas I am not so forthcoming with the gifts.
You can't buy love anyway.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 14/01/2016 14:49

Why do you think it's okay to relentlessly bitch at us?

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 14/01/2016 14:50

sugar No but you can buy kindness apparently Grin

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 14/01/2016 14:50

"That child who demands a window seat when 8 yrs old, will be the adult who won't give up a train seat for a pregnant woman. Why should they? They've always got what they wanted."

"No they won't. They'll be the person who does because they remember the kindness others have shown to them."

So, TheCatsMeow - you believe that this was a learning experience for the child. So can you explain why they will only learn kindness from it? Why, for example, won't they learn that, if mummy has a tantrum at a stranger, they will get what they want? Why won't they learn that they can take something that is someone else's, and mummy will make sure they don't have to give it up?

And whilst I do agree that it would be a better world if everyone were kinder, and we should be able to hope for kindness from others, the point of my earlier post was NOT that we shouldn't hope for kindness, it was that we shouldn't DEMAND kindness from others - that is very different.

I also happen to think that the mother who refused to move her child was not being kind - she had no idea why the OP had booked that particular seat, and made no effort to find out if there was a reason she needed it - and, from her reaction, it seems pretty clear that she'd think her child wanting the seat would trump pretty much any reason for anyone else to need the seat. How was that her demonstrating kindness?

IMO, she was not demonstrating kindness, she was demonstrating a very entitled attitude - 'my child's happiness MUST come first, you must give up something you have paid for, for my child's happiness - and if you don't agree, I will be rude and throw a tantrum so you give in'.

I wonder if you can explain how demonstrating to a child that they can have what they want, if they throw a big enough tantrum, is a good lesson for that child.

Hihohoho1 · 14/01/2016 14:53

And a childs joy pike that's fantastic.

TheCatsMeow · 14/01/2016 14:53

is but no one threw a tantrum. I don't understand why you seem to think tantrums were thrown. Its not like the child and her mum were nasty

And for the person above you don't get to dictate to someone what their identity is sorry

Roussette · 14/01/2016 14:53

Cats. You don't know children who have been spoilt then? What a ridiculous answer you gave back there. Little Freddy will remember the nice kind lady who gave up her airplane seat when he was 5 and so he will always give up seats to people. More likely Freddy has been spoilt rotten all his life and has a sense of entitlement and if you think I'm giving up my seat, you can sod off.

You have a baby, you haven't a clue, really you haven't. Come back in 20 years and you might well have a different view. Children don't learn by getting everything they want, whenever they want it. Be that seats, cake or whatever. They learn by there being occasions when not everyone rolls over to put them on a pedestal and give them exactly what they want. I remember many tantrums with my kids. I had to stand firm at times (particularly with one of them!) because I wanted well adjusted, well mannered, considerate children who would grow into kind non entitled adults.

Roussette · 14/01/2016 14:55

Read the OP Cats. It clearly states the woman demanded.

TheCatsMeow · 14/01/2016 14:55

Roussette that's your view. I don't personally see children as by default badly behaved. You get out what you put in, if you treat a child with kindness love and respect you get a child who is kind and loving and respectful. If you rule with an iron rod you get a twat.

That isn't the same as never saying no

TheCatsMeow · 14/01/2016 14:56

It doesn't say anywhere she had a tantrum

Roussette · 14/01/2016 14:56

Spot on SDT you've put it far better than me.

Roussette · 14/01/2016 14:59

How rude you are and how deluded too. Kids need boundaries. Wait till yours grows out of toddlerhood and you might well realise and look back at your views on this thread as barking.

I was firm with my 3. No iron rod but firm. I have anything but twats, I can assure you.

TheCatsMeow · 14/01/2016 15:01

Roussette yes any parenting style different to yours is deluded. There are lots of people who agree that love and respect is better than authoritarian crap

sugar21 · 14/01/2016 15:01

I freely admit my princess has a sense of entitlement, purely because her dick of a dad panders to her and would definitely ask for a window seat if that's what she wanted
I do not subcribe to his idea of parenting. But then he is a sandwich short of a picnic just like his Ma

Hihohoho1 · 14/01/2016 15:01

Oh cats you have one small baby.

Ok you do have oodles to learn.

That's why you spout childs joy bollocks.

Mind you carry on with this and you will be posting

my teen stole a lippy from boots. I tried to explain about forfilling her joy but they prosecuting

Hihohoho1 · 14/01/2016 15:02

Love and respect goes both ways.

TheCatsMeow · 14/01/2016 15:02

Not really hi see I'm capable of not patronising children and thinking you have to come down like a ton of bricks in order to have decent children Smile

Roussette · 14/01/2016 15:03

Oh give over Cats. Where have I used the word authoritarian? You're making it up as you go along to suit yourself!

And where have I said I didn't show my DCs love and respect?

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