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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To be very embarrassed about how I look

160 replies

namechangerwithnoclothes · 13/01/2016 18:23

I had a period where I had to accept work at a lower pay rate than I had become accustomed to, and a combination of reasons meant I was running very low for money.

Anyway, I'm working at my old rate now in a professional role, very professional. And I have no clothes Blush

all my old suits are way too small. Everything looks just awful. I have one pair of trousers that I can get into but they are too tight and dig in so uncomfortably and my legs look so wide! I have no suitable shoes, can't afford to replace them.

I look a mess and have NO spare money to sort myself with a decent working wardrobe.

AIBU to think this may have serious repercussions in terms of my future there? Sad

OP posts:
usual · 13/01/2016 18:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RJnomore1 · 13/01/2016 18:26

I understand the no money but could you scrape £20 together? That would get you a pair of black trousers and a top or two from asda/primark.

It shouldn't reflect on you, as it doesn't affect how good you are at your job, but firstly some folk are arseholes, and secondly you obviously feel self conscious and uncomfortable.

patterkiller · 13/01/2016 18:27

Have you any money at all, maybe try charity shops? Some do have really good quality work wear at tiny prices.

usual · 13/01/2016 18:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tiggerkid · 13/01/2016 18:29

AIBU to think this may have serious repercussions in terms of my future there? - shouldn't do if you are valued professionally. At the end of the day, you aren't turning up at work naked or dressed in jeans and flipflops when everyone else is wearing suits and ties. If your clothes are clean and in line with the company dress code, then everything else is a matter of perception.

Also, it sounds like it could be a temporary situation. Now that you are getting your old rate, perhaps, it will give you an opportunity to save up some money after few months and buy 1-2 pieces of clothing that fit you properly. I wouldn't worry about it too much. If I am honest, I never really pay any attention to what my colleagues are wearing. Incompetence, on the other hand, annoys me a hell of a lot more.

ClutterofStarlings · 13/01/2016 18:29

Presumably this will be better after your next pay check? At which point you need to do the best you can with what you've got. I can't be much help there, but you could post in s&b and people will help.
Any chance of a trawl through some charity shops or are we literally talking not even a few pounds to throw at it?
Otherwise. How unsuitable are your shoes? Can you make them as clean and presentable as possible.
Hair & makeup, should be clean and tidy.
You're probably going to have to wear too tight clothes for a bit. Can you expand any waistbands with a hair bobble? Use a scarf as a bit of disguise?
After that, slap on a big smile, hold your head up and hold eye contact. It will help people not notice.
Best

Jackie0 · 13/01/2016 18:30

Now that your circumstances have improved could you not use a credit card and pay it off quite quickly ?
It doesn't have to be expensive stuff.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 13/01/2016 18:31

AIBU to think this may have serious repercussions in terms of my future there?

But surely this is only a (very) temporary situation until you are in a better position financially? Do you have a local Freecycle page? Or a friend the same size who has a suit you can borrow?

ClutterofStarlings · 13/01/2016 18:31

Huge cross post. Also could you clothes swap or borrow off a friend? Not ideal, but...

scarlets · 13/01/2016 18:32

Is there anyone who could lend you some money for this? They'd obviously get it back when you start getting paid at your new rate.

Sell the useless small clothes on a local Facebook selling site. That'll raise some cash, hopefully.

Any professional friends of your size who could lend you a couple of items for a few weeks?

MammaTJ · 13/01/2016 18:32

I can't recommend 'Everything 5 pounds.com' highly enough. They are amazing. With postage, everything ends up being £7 but still such good value and they are great at keeping in touch with where your order is.

Link

NorbertDentressangle · 13/01/2016 18:33

Is this a temporary situation until you get paid? If so could you borrow clothes from a friend or even some money until your first pay?

goldierocks · 13/01/2016 18:45

Hello OP.... congrats on the new job Flowers

Where I work, we have a clothes collection for workwear (suits, smart separates) that are in excellent condition. I believe they go to a charity called 'Smart Works', who give them to ladies seeking work or who are in your situation (just started work, no suitable attire).

Good luck Smile

MotherKat · 13/01/2016 18:46

How about freecycle?

Katenka · 13/01/2016 18:49

I would check charity shops and supermarkets. Even primark. They may not last as long as better made clothes but will get you through to your pay check.

SaucyJack · 13/01/2016 18:49

Another vote for charity shops. If you are near a biggish town, and have a Saturday to spare you'll probably find a few good things.

SquareRootOf314 · 13/01/2016 18:49

Can you buy one grey trouser suit?

I bought a pair of work trousers from next the other dayy £25, they're nice enough. I'm short, so I often feel I look 'wrong'.

Iwanttobeadog · 13/01/2016 18:51

I've just sent two bin bags of lovely, good condition office clothes to the charity shop. It's worth looking in your local ones, although I appreciate they're often not all that cheap these days. You could get by with two good pairs of trousers, a couple of tops and one jacket in the short term

Geekmama · 13/01/2016 18:55

This may help Smile www.smartworks.org.uk/our-sustain-service

mathanxiety · 13/01/2016 18:56

Do you own any makeup, mascara and nail polish?
Use them if so.

Same goes for any nice perfume you have, and take care about your hair. You can make a good impression even without great clothes or when your clothes are not fitting you well.

Best bet for disguising clothes that don't fit or clothes you are wearing more than twice in a week is black clothes, with a few accessories thrown in -- necklace if you have a noticeable one, scarf nicely tied (look at youtube for ideas), and even a belt can make a difference. Bracelet and watch, if you have them.

Whatever shoes you have, maybe polish them if that can be done.

Can you spend Saturday in charity shops in some naice areas?

When you buy things, get interchangeable individual pieces.

Your clothes are not going to tall much about you really. The worst thing you can do is give away your inner worries by drooping posture, so remember 'chin up' and back straight. Look as if all is well in your world and smile.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 13/01/2016 18:56

Would have thought this was a scenario that perfectly justifies use of a credit card /overdraft.

Look at it as an opportunity OP: you will be able to build the perfect working wardrobe from scratch.

toffeeboffin · 13/01/2016 18:56

Do you have a sewing machine? Any chance you can let out some trousers?

Or arrange a clothes swap with friends?

You only actually need a couple of items if you just wash and wear.

spacepoodle · 13/01/2016 18:59

Dress for Success is another charity who may be able to help: www.dressforsuccess.org

If it's a case of waiting until your next pay day you can order online from H&M and request an invoice to be sent with the delivery. I think you have 20 days to pay the balance.

namechangerwithnoclothes · 13/01/2016 19:02

Thank you. I don't have any money at the moment, and to be honest putting a working wardrobe together is going to be difficult as I still have things I'm paying off, but I'll simply have to get a pair of shoes and a bigger pair of trousers at the end of the month, and I probably won't get much change from £100 from that.

OP posts:
Katenka · 13/01/2016 19:04

If you will be broke for a while, get some cheaper shoes and cheaper trousers to put you on.

One pair of trousers worn say in and day out won't last long.

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