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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be very embarrassed about how I look

160 replies

namechangerwithnoclothes · 13/01/2016 18:23

I had a period where I had to accept work at a lower pay rate than I had become accustomed to, and a combination of reasons meant I was running very low for money.

Anyway, I'm working at my old rate now in a professional role, very professional. And I have no clothes Blush

all my old suits are way too small. Everything looks just awful. I have one pair of trousers that I can get into but they are too tight and dig in so uncomfortably and my legs look so wide! I have no suitable shoes, can't afford to replace them.

I look a mess and have NO spare money to sort myself with a decent working wardrobe.

AIBU to think this may have serious repercussions in terms of my future there? Sad

OP posts:
WhatamessIgotinto · 13/01/2016 23:01

OP, please don't feel despondent. There is a way round this, even if you feel its not an ideal way short term, it may just get you back on track.

Being totally skint is horrible. Please accept some of the kind offers on here. Flowers

WhatamessIgotinto · 13/01/2016 23:02

*long term

Crazybaglady · 13/01/2016 23:05

Probably the worst advice ever, but could you not figure out how much you could afford to pay off with first and second pay day and spend that on a credit card? Nothing worse than feeling like shit when starting a new job!

Crazybaglady · 13/01/2016 23:06

A lot of stuff you can do yourself as well, eyebrow tidy up, face mask, hair treatment and colour, nails? Subtle make up, clean and well ironed clothes (even if primark or asda)

Cloppysow · 13/01/2016 23:07

Please ignore the awful people OP. Good luck in your job, you'll get there.

And just in case anyone missed it

she has no money and she can't bloody sew

And to suggest she's hoping for cash is just fucking low. Horrible people.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 13/01/2016 23:47

There are some right twats on this thread; either just outright bitchy or with faux concern and strikeout.

OP hasn't asked for anything, those who have clothes and shoes in the right size have offered. Why is it anybody's business? How thick do you have to be to carry on talking about buying things when OP doesn't have the money? Is it too much to ask that if you don't want to read the OP properly or help, that you just move on to another thread instead of making her feel worse?

No wonder OP's gone, I would be too.

RubbleBubble00 · 14/01/2016 00:09

new look petite trousers 12.99 in an 18

loads of nice tunics and blouses in 18+ for £15

You need to go into cheaper shops and try stuff on. It might take a bit of hunting but your not stuck.

Also you can order from next,m&s ect online for sale stuff and if doesn't fit take it back to the shop. You could even open a store account at next, m&s ect to buy the clothes and pay it off gradually

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 14/01/2016 00:10

Oi the majority of strikeouts are not unkind at all! Both op and I have used them in benign ways.

Op, could you wonder web a hem? That's just iron on so no sewing at all. It's about £3 a pack and enough to hem lots of pairs of trousers. I do my dd's school trousers with it. Marvellous stuff. I've also used safety pins to hem a pair of trousers before. Those might give you a few more options for end of month.

What did you wear to your interview? Maybe there's something there that we can build on?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 14/01/2016 00:14

Moving... then I'm not referring to yours if they weren't unkind, am I? I obviously wasn't referring to OPs either.

Some of the posts on this thread are bloody awful.

KoalaDownUnder · 14/01/2016 00:28

Oh, fgs. Of course a few people have to turn nasty in what was a nice thread.

KoalaDownUnder · 14/01/2016 00:29

The OP is very obviously not asking for money; she has even said as much, and is insisting on paying postage for anything donated.

Antisoc · 14/01/2016 00:41

OP, if you are such an odd size I don't think there is much point people sending you random stuff.

I get that you have no cash but I don't think people notice unless you are dirty or unkempt.

I know you want to look as good as you can but I think you need to be realistic about what you can afford. As long as you look neat and tidy then it should be ok.

You absolutely do not have to spend £40 or £50 on shoes even if you have wide feet.

Hemming clothes is easy all you need is a needle and some thread. The fact that you were rubbish at needlework is irrelevant. Look up how to hem on YouTube and just get on and do it. It's time to woman up!

noeffingidea · 14/01/2016 00:52

Sewing (just very simple stuff, no machine) does save a fair amount of money. I hate it, I just think of it as a job like any other. Otherwise it's pay someone at the drycleaners to do something I could do myself. No thanks.
Looking it up on youtube is great advice. There's plenty of other helpful videos, like hairstyles that you can do yourself.

noeffingidea · 14/01/2016 00:57

Just remembered, Tesco do wide fitting shoes. I haven't tried them myself in the wide fitting range (cos my feet aren't wide) but I buy most of my shoes from Tesco and they are comfortable and good value.

Friendlystories · 14/01/2016 01:17

OP I've been given some stuff to eBay by a relative, they may be a bit more old fashioned than you'd normally go for but size wise might be just the ticket. Black trousers (elasticated waist hence the mention of 'old fashioned') I think size 18 and about a 25" leg length, several pairs, some worn, some brand new. Will have a proper look in the morning as they're in my bedroom and DH is asleep but pretty sure about sizing. Don't want anything for them and postage won't be much (you can refund me when things are easier if you're bothered but it's not necessary) I'm happy to send them to you, tbh it would get them out of my way. PM me if you want them, can totally sympathise with your situation, I've piled on weight and had hardly anything that fits, bought 2 new pairs of jeans yesterday and it felt like Christmas when I was a kid Grin

Original poster
namechangerwithnoclothes · 14/01/2016 06:49

Hello.

Someone did pm me and offered me cash which I of course thanked them for but would not accept Blush

Here is the thing - I've been in my role for a while (3 months now) but I've had a lot of payments to make I couldn't manage last year that were pressing and I needed to sort (one example of many, filthy carpets throughout my home)

Initially although I didn't have a lot of clothes it was manageable, just, but I've gained yet more weight over Christmas and lost a staple black knitted jumper which always looked smart and a pair of black M & S court shoes (no I don't know how I lost them either but it did not involve alcohol!)

I am on a diet but realistically most of my wardrobe is size 12 or even 10 with a few 14s.

As for why I started the thread, I don't know. It wasn't for cash but I guess you won't like the 'real' answer which is probably for a moan and a chat.

Now, for my size and shape, I am 5'2 but quite 'long' in the body. So I can fit easily into normal tops. However blouses are an issue as I am pretty fat at the moment (over 13 and a half stone) majority of that weight is stored around my stomach. I'm also storing a lot round the sides of my boobs.

Trouser and Jean buying has always been really hard. I have such short legs. Normal sizes look ridiculous so even when I have money and look in charity shops, I generally can't buy them as its fuss and faff getting them altered (I really can't sew or use a sewing machine, it would end up gathering dust.)

Plus, finding time is hard. I work weekends for extra money.

So like I said, when I get paid I'll buy a decent pair of shoes and a couple of pairs of trousers and hopefully continue losing weight, I won't respond to any more PMs offering me stuff, it's lovely of you but I feel people are suspicious of my motives and I just wouldn't want anyone to think that of me, even under a namechange.

I'm very Blush at how this threads turned out.

But as an aside, can we not just let people feel what they feel and be what they are, and not assume there's a burning need for something to be done, to justify the post?

OP posts:
Brightermornings · 14/01/2016 06:59

Hi I am similar dress size to you and I'm probably slightly shorter. I wear black trousers for work the ones I've got at the moment were £6 from tesco!! They wash ok and on the plus side need very little ironing.

tabulahrasa · 14/01/2016 06:59

Asda do trousers in short legs...why would you think they don't?

Original poster
namechangerwithnoclothes · 14/01/2016 07:04

They don't fit! I honestly am getting a little bit tired of saying this. And why do you think I can afford trousers from Asda?

OP posts:
Soooosie · 14/01/2016 07:09

Cha

Soooosie · 14/01/2016 07:09

Charity shops. Amazing finds

tabulahrasa · 14/01/2016 07:12

"And why do you think I can afford trousers from Asda?"

I think you can afford them more than the shops you want to buy clothes from.

Thattimeofyearagain · 14/01/2016 07:14

I was going to suggest setting up a Marisota account, they do trouser lengths from 25 Inch but I saw your update. It's craps when you have to dress a certain way for work but you just don't have the means ( been there, but mine was for a couple of years !). I used to wash the same trousers every week night to wear the next day and lived in crappie ballet shoes, my mum used to give me tops for birthday/ Christmas.

Walkingintheraindrops · 14/01/2016 07:15

Poor you oP. I am sure you just posted to have a chat/ rant, not have your problems "solved" for you. After all, I'm sure the OP is perfectly capable of thinking of charity shops/ supermarkets herself.

Anyway I have just put on loads of weight and know exactly how you feel- I'm rotating the same 3 dresses and it's depressing!

DinosaursRoar · 14/01/2016 07:18

If the op has no money, it doesn't matter how cheap asda or charity shop trousers are, she hasn't got it. End of the month she will have a £100 budget, but not right now

I must say, needing to get back into pre-dc suits and no money for new I ones (not even for supermarket ones), was the best incentive to diet towards the end of mat leave with dc1 (having quit after dc2 meant I didn't get that push). Perhaps see this as the challenge - can you be back down one size by then?

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