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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be very embarrassed about how I look

160 replies

namechangerwithnoclothes · 13/01/2016 18:23

I had a period where I had to accept work at a lower pay rate than I had become accustomed to, and a combination of reasons meant I was running very low for money.

Anyway, I'm working at my old rate now in a professional role, very professional. And I have no clothes Blush

all my old suits are way too small. Everything looks just awful. I have one pair of trousers that I can get into but they are too tight and dig in so uncomfortably and my legs look so wide! I have no suitable shoes, can't afford to replace them.

I look a mess and have NO spare money to sort myself with a decent working wardrobe.

AIBU to think this may have serious repercussions in terms of my future there? Sad

OP posts:
FlatOnTheHill · 13/01/2016 20:45

One more thing to add. You definitely get treated more professionally if you look smart, well turned out and professional looking in your dress.
Im a woman and a lovely crisp white fitted shirt and good fitting suit goes a long way.

FlatOnTheHill · 13/01/2016 20:46

Op what area are you in?
Are there charity shops in your area?

Original poster
namechangerwithnoclothes · 13/01/2016 20:50

I love charity shops, however I have no money for them at the moment, time is also an issue, and sizings are very problematic.

OP posts:
FlatOnTheHill · 13/01/2016 20:51

Im sorry, i just dont know what to suggest. Hope everything works out for you Thanks

tootiredtoknow · 13/01/2016 20:54

OP. I sell tonnes of clothes on ebay. All ex catalogue/store return type stuff, some M&S, DP, Principles etc. I'd be happy to send you a couple of pairs of trousers if you PM me

Coconutty · 13/01/2016 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 13/01/2016 21:12

If your clothes fasten but dig in then that means you are only a bit too fat for them. A couple of weeks of dieting would be your cheapest option and might do your self esteem a power of good.

Been there done that, by the way, upon going back to smart office after DC, 3 times. You don't have to aim to be a size 8 or anything, just aim to drop half a dress size, which will be a few pounds, so the old clothes fit well enough leaving you more cash for shoes and accessories.

TannhauserGate · 13/01/2016 21:14

Do you have any friends or relatives that are a similar size? If you could borrow one item from each of a few, that would help.
Do you have a birthday coming up at all, and could ask for vouchers for clothes shops/TKMaxx?
Try to keep your hair, nails, teeth etc looking 'groomed'.
Whatever you do have, make sure it's clean uncreased.

When you do have a little money, TKMaxx often have great things in the clearance sections, often in less popular sizes- you may find decent dresses or trousers. Shoes in size 5 are always in stock, good leather ones too.

Have you ever used a food bank? I don't know if some of them perhaps take clothing donations too?

Are you a member of a church or religious congregation of any kind? They will often help out.

KP86 · 13/01/2016 21:16

Good grief, I just spent 50GBP (inc postage) on 8 things from that 5pound website. I can see it being a bit of a danger zone for me!

tootiredtoknow · 13/01/2016 21:23

Do you have some smaller clothes that you could ebay to pay for bigger sizes?

notquiteruralbliss · 13/01/2016 21:24

OP - .lI work in a professional job and am a bit larger than my normal size ATM so my usual clothes don't fit. I refuse to spend £££ on temporary clothes, but have found that stretchy skirts from the Gap 70% off sale rail, loose dresses / long cardigans from Primark (my latest one was £5) and decent shoes work just fine.

lovenancy · 13/01/2016 21:38

I just wanted to say how lovely that people have offered to send things to help someone out. Take the offers, op, then when you have a little cash you can pay it forward. Kindness is so important and heart warming. Good luck op.

MatildaTheCat · 13/01/2016 21:40

There have been lots of sensible suggestions which you have knocked back. Could your parents or partner lend you some cash just to tide you over? Or get an M&S store card to buy the minimum basics and then cut it up and pay off ASAP.

Wallis do very good work type trousers in petite length.

I do agree that not looking the part could mean you are taken less seriously which is sad so YANBU about that but YABU in that you seem to have said 'No, that won't work' to pretty much every single post. So, what would help you, barring a sudden lottery win? Smile

Claireshh · 13/01/2016 22:01

My work clothes were a size 16.

I haven't worked since my daughter was born 6.5 years ago. The suits are mostly jigsaw, planet and I can't remember where else. They are in the attic. I'd happily get them down and take some photos and email them to you. I'd love to see them used. I might also have shoes. I'm a 6 or 7. Any use? If so, send me a message.

Claireshh · 13/01/2016 22:02

Ps I'm 5ft 6.

noeffingidea · 13/01/2016 22:09

I don't understand why you keep saying sewing is out? Taking up hems, sewing on buttons and mending small holes or rips are simple basic skills that can all be done by hand. I absolutely hate sewing but I have to do these things for myself and my kids. I can't afford to chuck clothes away every time they need mending. I agree wundaweb is great for hems, get it from the pound shop.

Fluffyears · 13/01/2016 22:13

Try vinted you can swap items there rather than but so you could swap your old workwear.

Gruntfuttock · 13/01/2016 22:14

There has been so much excellent advice on this thread, but you reject it all, OP. What exactly are you hoping for? Offers of cash?

Newyearnewme2016 · 13/01/2016 22:19

I think you should take people up on their offers of clothes they are clearing out. I would love to know that my clothes were going to someone who would actually get use out of them. When I took a few bags of decent clothes recently to one of those recycling units, I overheard a council worker say, we'll be putting a light to all that lot later.

tootiredtoknow · 13/01/2016 22:22

Not fair Grunt, not fair at all. OP obviously doesn't have any money whatsoever at the moment. No money means no money regardless of what bargains she may pick up on ebay, charity shops etc

Natkingcole9 · 13/01/2016 22:29

What exactly are you hoping for? Offers of cash?

Exactly what I'm thinking...strange post

noeffingidea · 13/01/2016 22:32

OP if you have absolutely no money, couldn't you ask for a small advance on your wages, enough to buy one outfit and a pair of shoes?

WhatamessIgotinto · 13/01/2016 22:45

I don't think for one second that the OP is looking for cash, that's really unkind.

Sometimes, no matter what advice is given, it's very hard to see the wood for the trees.

carabos · 13/01/2016 22:55

From your posts OP it seems that you have absolutely not a brass farthing to buy any clothes, but happily quite a few posters have offered to send you things. Accepting these offers is cost and time neutral to you, the worst that can happen is that enough clothes to stock a shop lots of lovely things arrive which may turn out to be unsuitable and which you then donate to a charity shop. I'm struggling to see the downside...

You are worried that your poor wardrobe may impact on your career, which would be a huge problem. The answer is staring you in the face. So you have to wear second hand clothes for a couple of months until you can afford new - so what?

CakeThat · 13/01/2016 22:58

You say in your op could this have reprocussions for my career, well yes to be honest. A new member of staff at my work was 'let go' after a couple of weeks because of work not being up to standard. However unofficially I heard was that it was because she didn't fit in appearance-wise. That's not because everyone at my firm is good looking, it's because everyone makes an effort and makes the best of themselves. You've dismissed jewellery but you can't go wrong with any subtle jewellery such as stud earrings, simple bracelet etc. Likewise with subtle make up and clear nail varnish and tidy hair. It just makes you look like you've put in the effort.
Surely if you're now in a very professional role you'll be coming into some decent pay so there's no reason why you can't get a small overdraft until pay day or a credit card or even borrow a small amount from family to get a few basics.
Don't underestimate first impressions, you need to get off to the best possible start and a decent appearance will help you achieve that and give your confidence a boost.
Really hope though that your new job goes well and is a fresh start for you Flowers