did I deserve this response?

[browneyedgirl1974]

So it is my brothers birthday today. I realised last night that I forgot to post his card. I only realised when he rang about another matter. So I apologised and promised to post it. I do get why he was upset as it was his 40th so a special one.
His response was don't bother as getting a card after the day means nothing.
I was a little taken aback so mn jury did I deserve this?

[AyeAmarok]

dh and his parents going to a football match meaning they would be away all day with dd1 when it was dd2 birthday. I expressed sadness about this was told it was only a birthday. Celebrate another day etc etc. Dd was 4 at the time. Than fil came back with a gift for dd1 from the football and told dd2 off for touching it onvher birthday. Grr.

This is entirely unrelated to your forgetting your brother's 40th and him saying not to bother posting the card after the fact.

His response wasn't a big deal. Stop trying to make it one.

[Kingfisherfree]

I agree AyeAmorack, OP's DB acted in a pretty standard way IMO.

[jellypopmummy]

I don't think she forgot his birthday, she states she was going to call him later. She just forgot to post the card.

Personally I hate cards, waste of paper, but other people like them so I do them.

[redshoeblueshoe]

I'm with Trash and jelly. OP did not forget his birthday. She made it clear they don't do presents - neither do I. Now you lot have made her feel so guilty that she has gone and got him a present.

that's for the OP. I always send cards on time to my siblings, and never receive any on my birthday, it really does not bother me.

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

I'm surprised nobody's yet mentioned e-cards ... always your friend at times like this

[Jux]

Blimey! Has he always been so precious?

I text happy birthday greetings to my brother (s) or perhaps email greetings. They do the same. Since my little bro died I've made more effort with my other bro, as I am now the only family he has. Then he came to live with us, and tbh, I'm so used to him being about that last year I forgot his birthday altogether. No biggie. He didn't make a fuss, nor I would if the position were reversed.

Of course, him not making a fuss means I feel more guilty

[venusinscorpio]

That's great. Glad you sent him a present, and that you realise it was a bit thoughtless to forget it, rather than the many people here who are smugly sanctimonious about not caring about birthdays.

[AliceInUnderpants]

Thank you for reminding me that it's my brother's birthday today! Thank god we just do Amazon email vouchers

[SirChenjin]

Good for you OP - that was a lovely thing to do when his 40th obviously meant something to him (in a non juvenile way)

[browneyedgirl1974]

Aye I only mentioned the football birthday thing in the context of mn birthday opinion. Very often people are accussed of being diva like if they don't get a gift, card or someone doesn't spend time with them on this birthday etc etc.
Yet on this thread the replies are more balanced.

[SirChenjin]

Probably because it's a 'big' birthday as opposed to a run of the mill one

[browneyedgirl1974]

O well not sure gift is going to cut it.It seems that another I was in the car with my sis when he rang to moan about me and another sibling being late with card. He said he was disgusted with us. This was on bluetooth so I heard every word.
I just kept quiet but I was embarrassed.

[browneyedgirl1974]

Sorry that was garbled. Lost train of thought.

[Cavaradossi]

I've said 'juvenile strop' twice on this thread, and I'm going to say it again. I'd leave the gift, OP, if you haven't already sent it. He's clearly getting far too much mileage out of how awful and neglectful his siblings are. A gift would take the glow off the teenage 'no one loves me and when I'm dead, you'll all be sorry!' thing.

[Luckygirlcharlie]

Personally I was very happy that a few poeple forgot my 40th and I wish more had! I was still going for the 39 trick

[browneyedgirl1974]

40 was ok. 30 for me was worse.

[LordBrightside]

As an adult male, I couldn't care less if I never receive another birthday card in my life. Birthday cards are for kids. In fact, birthdays are for kids. As an adult it's just a date in the diary and has little really meaning. I've never understood why adults make such a fuss.

[Soooosie]

As long as you send a card it's fine to be a day or so late

[CFSsucks]

Sorry but I agree with your brother. I think a card after the day is pointless and it is hurtful when someone can't make the small effort to put a card in the post. But then I don't get a single card from any of my 4 siblings. I have always given them cards (last year was the year I decided I wasn't going to bother). I get a text from 3 of them and fuck all acknowledgement from the other one.

My dad phoned me on my birthday, said he was coming over that weekend, didn't come and I didn't hear from him. 3 months later I saw him and he gave me some money! Ok it's the first year he hasn't come over on my birthday but when people don't bother with your birthday, it hurts and says that they aren't actually that arsed about you.

[browneyedgirl1974]

Would you tell your siblings that though cf and than have a good moan about it behind their back? All along I havè said that I understood why he was upset but it was a one off scatty moment at a very stressful period in my life. I realised my faux pas a few hours too late. An hour or two earlier and I would have made the post. I also apologised. The other sibling who was late is frequently late with cards but I just accept this as we are only human and have busy lives.

[BitOutOfPractice]

Look, it was your brother's 40th. You forgot to post his card. That's pretty poor form in my opinion and he's right, it's not the same if the card isn't there on the day. The moment has passed. So YWBU

[SirChenjin]

It really doesn't matter whether anyone on here thinks he's juvenile, or what others would have thought about not getting a card. The fact is, it mattered to him - not in a dramatic 'you don't love me, how could you' type way, but it mattered that his sibling remembered to get his card there before the event. So some other people on here wouldn't have cared - so what. They're not your brother - and for many of us on here, it would also have mattered.

[gleam]

The brother's getting some mileage out of a momentary lapse on the op's part, isn't he?

'Disgusted' with the op and a sibling? How very juvenile.

[SirChenjin]

The only mileage is the conjecture on here - the bloke was hardly sobbing down the phone and beating his chest with his fists .

Who was 'disgusted'? Missed that post

[venusinscorpio]

Agree with Sir Chenjin. I think it's weird how some posters project their own birthday issues and resentment of other people expecting to have a nice birthday onto other people. It comes up on every single birthday-related thread. Some people believe "birthdays are only for kids". Some people clearly don't.