Thumb sucking at 30?

[TwostepsA1]

Hello all, feeling mean and confused...but really want to know AIBU?

Girlfriend of 16 months (whom I love and want to have children with) still sucks here thumb, a lot. The first thing she does most evening on returning home from work is go up stairs get blanket (yep there is also a blanket.) comes back down stairs and sucks thumb...this will go on all evening...then in bed, then on going to sleep to the sound of sucking thumb I will awake in the morning to if being the first thing I see..lovely girlfriend, then thumb and blanket (the blanket smell awful as well, like horrible) It's starting to drive me crazy...to the point where I block the view so I can't see it going on or leave the room or distract myself with reading or whatever...I feel it kills conversation, it's a huge barrier between us and it kills my libidoI dead. I just can't seem to get away from it...even in the car...Now the part were I feel like a mean one comes to my knowing there are anxiety issues and this is a comfort thing that makes her feel better...

But it is driving me to the edge, I have talked about it very directly and at times harshly of late as nothing changes..promises have been made in the past, like I'll stop, or have tried to compromise like limiting it to bed time (sleeping)! She knows I hate it....and becoming a big issue...

[whois]

I genuinely can't understand how anyone could be 'proud' to still suck their thumb as a grown adult either

I know, I'm a nail biter but at least I recognise its a 'bad habit' and try and keep it occasional and private! No one wants to look at you with your paws in your mouth.

Can you think about being with an adult man who sucked his thumb...? Still think its cute?

[reni2]

I seem to remember only about 50% wash their hands after going to the loo as shown in many studies. That means all public surfaces have a film of shit on them.

Then she goes and suckles them off her thumb ? Boak. And then she cuddles a stinking blankie? Total deal breaker for me. She might have all sorts of problems and as a friend I'd be there to help, but sex would be out of the question. Next she'll drink out of a tommee tippee non-burp bottle and wear a nappy.

[LastOneDancing]

To those 'imagining' what its like to be with a man who has this habit, here's a lot more to people that suck their thumb than just the thumb sucking .

My DH is honest, caring, funny, handsome, clever generous, a wonderful dad AND sucks his thumb when he's tired.

Thank god I didn't get all icky over it when he 'revealed' his secret because I'd have been the one who missed out.

Stinky blanket might be a bit much though.

[LordBrightside]

What on earth does anyone get out of sucking their thumb?

[reni2]

E. coli, C. difficile and many other faecal bacteria, LordBrightside.

[thelouise]

Some really small minded attitudes. The woman has anxiety, it clearly gives her comfort. The anxiety is the problem.

[rosewithoutthorns]

Small minded?
It's a childish habit that has now become something ridiculous and should have been stopped at infancy.

The person with this habit should actually understand that its really not acceptable and take steps to stop it, not the other way around.

[rosewithoutthorns]

I bit my nails for years saying so what.

I knew deep down that it was a habit I needed to stop.

It had nothing to do with others not "understanding", it was to do with me.

My nails are now non bitten.

[Boogers]

Should have been stopped at infancy

sounds quite sinister that, like forcing a left handed child to write with their right hand!

[thelouise]

For many people who suck thumbs due to anxiety disorders, it's not a habit but a compulsion. Telling someone like this to stop is like telling a person with depression to smile more.

[FlowersAndShit]

I'm 25 and still occasionally suck my thumb. It's very comforting and there is nothing quite like it. Yes, I have childhood issues, yes, i'm weird. But I don't care. I never do it in public, I only do it when I'm alone or when i'm with my mum.

I have to laugh at the people on this thread thinking it's disgusting. I'm sure you've had plenty of cocks in your mouth!

[rosewithoutthorns]

Errr what on earth has that got to do with it? Im left handed.

[rosewithoutthorns]

In that case, I think I would have to find out what the other persons anxieties were before getting into a committed relationship with them. The OP is perfectly allowed to do this.

[Boogers]

rose, just that the phrase 'should have been stopped in infancy' sounds like something sinister that a much older generation would have said about being left handed. Not got a problem with thumb sucking, left handedness, nail biting, bum scratching or whatever the heck else! It was an observation upon reading the whole thread where that phrase stood out, that's all.

[rosewithoutthorns]

Blimey Flowers thats a very defensive statement to make.

[rosewithoutthorns]

It is a child thing to do and yes it should have stopped at infancy.

[rosewithoutthorns]

Just the same as picking your nose and eating it boogers

[thelouise]

What part of "it is often a mental health problem" are you finding so hard to grasp, rose?

[Boogers]

How exactly? DD is fast asleep with her thumb in her mouth, how should I stop her doing it? I gently move her hand, the thumb gets clamped in tighter. It's a comfort thing, an anxiety thing, a tired thing. She doesn't do it at school, only at home.

[rosewithoutthorns]

What part of it being a habit are you finding hard to grasp the louise?

[rosewithoutthorns]

we are talking about 30 year olds here not little ones Boogers.

[thelouise]

Eh, not engaging with this sort of mindlessness. You know clearly know nothing about mental health and dealing with this sort of thing. She can't just stop, she needs support. OP is clearly aware of that. It just takes a bit of empathy really.

[Boogers]

But you're saying it's a habit that should be stopped in infancy, just wondering how you go about doing that.

[rosewithoutthorns]

It is not mindlessness thelouise. Habits are hard to break but they can be broken.

If it's a mental health issue then that can also be addressed.

The OP thought this was an annoying habit, which it probably is.