to think the 'Pregnancy' board is becoming ridiculous

[ShowYourSeams]

I got a lot of great advice on there when I was pregnant and have continued to contribute as I feel I can give some advice having carried 3 children.

But at the moment it seems like the huns have all moved in to ask if they're pregnant (despite numerous negative tests) because they have slightly sensitive nipples.

AIBU to think some common sense needs to come into play? And if they must post it should be on the 'conception' board?

I'm surprised you haven't asked MNHQ if you can be a moderator.

Nah, I'd go power mad. They'd have to wrestle me away from the big red ban button.

Milk, yes, I'm aware that currently, I have no particular "right" to tell people to post elsewhere. They are free to ignore me. My Site Stuff thread is meant to address the issue and see if MNHQ agrees, or if they feel enough people agree, to make it policy. They move threads all the time, so it's not unusual. For the record, if MNHQ ever do comment and say "No, we feel it's not an issue", then I will just try and restrain myself and ignore the posts (or just say "Do a test!"), and won't suggest they go to Conception.

Enough people agree with me on this that, sorry, you're not going to convince me that I'm being fascistly unreasonable.

Different words used, see?

And in other news, "different words can be used to mean the same thing" shocker!

I know most people agree with the OP but I find this thread passive aggressive and don't like "the huns" reference your basically being not very nice. If you don't like the posts don't look at it people can say what they like. You don't own mumsnet. Why start such a negative thread ?

That generally only refers to homographs, I think.

Why start such a negative thread ?

Have you been on AIBU before?

Also, PA not really applicable in this context as we're quite openly "aggressive" about our dislike of these posts. ("We" meaning "people who don't like Am I Pregnant threads" before we get back on that particular "WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'WE'?" sidetrack)

TheSecondViola -

I think we are actually agreeing with each other in a way! I don't believe that anyone on here can diagnose or determine anything from people's posts.

My point was that it seems perfectly reasonable to me to offer the same level of chat and support to women who think they might be pregnant that we do to others, whatever the scenario they are trying to get their head round.

For example, if someone posts in Childcare about something they're worried about happening in a school they're not "barked at" to post in the right topic. They are answered and maybe a suggestion that they ask for the thread to be moved or even an offer to request the move on their behalf. Not "How the fuck are a bunch of strangers supposed to know. And you've posted in the wrong topic. How stupid."

"How the fuck are a bunch of strangers supposed to know. And you've posted in the wrong topic. How stupid."

I haven't seen ANYONE say that so baldly, not even my own bitchy self. Even my most recent "try the conception board" was a plainly-worded suggestion, not an order.

Ah, I see what you mean. I guess I just don't really understand the need for support over a am I/aren't I pregnant like I do for other things, because its such a simple thing to just find out. I would be very supportive in the likes of Pregnancy Choices once you have found out and need to talk about it, but the actual question and speculation just seems ridiculous to me. Pregnancy is a binary state, you either are or are not and its really easy to discover which it is!

I haven't been on the pregnancy board since I posted there a couple of years ago about my early symptoms of miscarriage. I was told I was posting in the wrong place and should go to the miscarriage board. I didn't know such a board existed (I do now, and jolly supportive, helpful and informative it is too) and, whilst the direction to the miscarriage board as a potential source of advice was helpful, the implication that I had some how violated unwritten Mumsnet rules and, most gut-wrenchingly of all, no longer belonged on the pregnancy board, stung a little.

Which is to say, there could be a wealth of unarticulated angst behind an inappropriately classified OP, the best response is always a kind one.

I have had a quick look at the pregnancy board now. It looks to be full of a range of pregnancy related threads, with a handful of early symptom spotting / 'NUB' threads in and amongst. Any you don't want to engage with, don't open / hide. Seems a more proportional and sensible response.

YABU.

Darth - if someone was in the SAHM topic and posted about their child possibly being assaulted in school, would you reply "try the Secondary Education topic" and nothing else? surely you would either offer advice or support, or if you couldn't do either of those you'd just close the thread?

I can't see why it matters so much where they post as long as it's not on the pregnancy loss boards.

TheSecondViola - there is also what I called Schrodinger's Pregnancy. It's when you've been trying for a couple of years, you're on fertility treatment, your period is late and right up until you test there's the glorious possibility that this time, this time might just be the one.

Actually I've just realised something - Darth is on maternity leave. She presumably hasn't had the baby yet or she certainly wouldn't be hanging around inappropriately on the Pregnancy board would she? Presumably, then, she will very shortly be waving goodbye to that board and so the posters to whom she objects will no longer be an irritation to her. Problem solved.

That's horrible Yorkshire but sadly not unsurprising.

Jessie- I imagine so too. Hopefully. Because hanging around on the pregnancy topic because you've decided you're an expert once you've managed to have a baby would just be weird.

I don't know, I may stay on the Pregnancy board to, like the OP, offer support to other pregnant women who are actually definitely pregnant, having been pregnant. I certainly won't be starting any topics, though, as I will in fact definitely not be pregnant.

Damn you all and your pesky undefeatable logic!

Darth - you could stick around and offer support and kindness to women who actually definitely want to be pregnant and will cling to whatever slight hope there is.

You're on maternity leave? Makes you seem a bit a smug tbh.

You're on maternity leave? Makes you seem a bit a smug tbh.

What's smug about being on maternity leave? It's smug to mention that I'm taking a government-authorised absence from my job to have a baby? You seem to be implying that I feel smug because I've managed to conceive and thereby don't give a shit about other women who are trying to. Kind of ignores the support I gave my SIL after 3 rounds of failed IVF treatment, but ok, knock yourself out.

And, by the way, not all of these "Am I Pregnant?" posters WANT to be pregnant. So this idea you have in your head of me single-handedly crushing the dreams of all those ttc is a bit off, I'm afraid.

Darth - I'm implying that because that's how you are coming across.

While I don't think you are "single-handedly crushing dreams", I do think that there is a "you can't be in our club" attitude.

Maybe not all posters are desperate to be pregnant, but some are which is why I think that your view is at odds with the ethos of the site.

You run the risk of unnecessarily upsetting someone who may be in a fairly fragile place.

Unless this has become a TAAT rather than general discussion, which is in even poorer form than posting in the wrong topic.

If anybody would like to contribute their thoughts, MNHQ have canvassed opinion on the thread in question (on drumroll the pregnancy board.)

I can't see it. Link please?

I can only see the Site Stuff thread started by Darth.

You run the risk of unnecessarily upsetting someone who may be in a fairly fragile place.

That's absolutely not my intention but I can see how it could look that way. I still think telling a pregnant person that x number of people had these symptoms and became pregnant is more damaging than saying "take a test", as giving false hope is unfair.

I've said all I can say on this subject - I've had enough of taking a personal battering. If anyone wants to raise their head above the parapet and give their opinion on the Pregnancy board, it would be naice. Think I've taken enough flack, so I'm out.

It's on the "8 days late!" Thread ThenLater. (Sorry, can't link from phone).

OK, ta.

I don't think you've had a personal battering darth, people have responded to your posts which have been fairly aggressive themselves.

Your posts, Darth, to the OP on the 8 days late thread were very enlightening. Even before she got a strop on.

Are you usually as lovely to new posters?

YABVU.

And arrogant, smug, condescending, and unwelcoming to new posters.

Early pregnancy and TTC can be all consuming, and sometimes, people just want to talk about it.
You don't like it? Don't look. Hide the topic even.