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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think the 'Pregnancy' board is becoming ridiculous

187 replies

ShowYourSeams · 13/01/2016 00:50

I got a lot of great advice on there when I was pregnant and have continued to contribute as I feel I can give some advice having carried 3 children.

But at the moment it seems like the huns have all moved in to ask if they're pregnant (despite numerous negative tests) because they have slightly sensitive nipples.

AIBU to think some common sense needs to come into play? And if they must post it should be on the 'conception' board?

OP posts:
goodnightdarthvader1 · 13/01/2016 12:22

Jessie seriously, are you just following darth around?!

Hehe.

The point of them posting on a pregnancy and not a conception board is to ask pregnant women if they experienced anything similar.

And the point of us replying to tell them that only a pregnancy test can confirm pregnancy is to welcome them back to reality. You can't diagnose pregnancy based on a few symptoms. As I've said before, if everyone goes "you might be", nobody learns anything. If everyone goes "Yes, me too, you're DEFINITELY preg!" and OP isn't, then they get false hope. So the entire exercise is pointless.

I get it. I had a confusing 6 months TTC. I had 2 weeks where my period was late. It had NEVER been 2 weeks late before. It messed with my head. But I just kept testing and waiting, because I knew no one else could tell me what was really happening.

JessieMcJessie · 13/01/2016 12:22

Oh, no , sorry, your point is that you get to decide who posts where. silly me.

JessieMcJessie · 13/01/2016 12:24

Exactly Darth. There is a point to them posting on the pregnancy boards.

MrsFrisbyMouse · 13/01/2016 12:26

MaisieDotes No we're not in camps - but sometimes it feels that way. Like the rivalry that springs up between 2 different schools, or between any 2 group that perceive a difference. We need to look more at what we have in common than how we are different.

bettyberry · 13/01/2016 12:28

Would it be daft to suggest an 'Am I pregnant?' board?

you know... one for just symptoms and test results? Hmm

goodnightdarthvader1 · 13/01/2016 12:28

Exactly Darth. There is a point to them posting on the pregnancy boards.

You got that from my post? How? What? Why?

My point was that there is no point to them posting!

goodnightdarthvader1 · 13/01/2016 12:30

betty I actually think that's a good idea. Maybe suggest it on my Site Stuff thread? They may say no as they might consider it too much effort to set up another board (which is why I didn't mention it initially)

NerrSnerr · 13/01/2016 12:30

We all have a different level of experience and knowledge. Just because some people know that the only way to definitively know if you're pregnant is to do a test doesn't mean everyone does. I don't think I would have known that when I was young.

Viviennemary · 13/01/2016 12:33

It does annoy me a bit when people say could I be pregnant? How on earth can random people on the internet tell whether they are or not. That's what pregnancy tests and doctors are for. They might as well go and see a clairvoyant.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 13/01/2016 12:34

I don't think I would have known that when I was young.

I've said this before, too, but: if only there was some resource available, in everyone's home, accessible via computers, tablets and smartphones, with articles and websites talking about pregnancy and how to diagnose it ... that would be so handy!

My generation had an excuse for not knowing this stuff, because if we didn't read about it in Seventeen magazine or the school / parents didn't tell us, we had no way of finding out. This generation has the entire internet at their fingertips. If they can't be bothered to Google before asking people, they can't be surprised if people get a bit fed up.

Viviennemary · 13/01/2016 12:36

I think a 'am I pregnant board' is a good idea. Then all the speculators can speculate together.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 13/01/2016 12:38

Tbf it's probably Google that brings them to this website. Is Mumsnet not part of the online resources?

MaisieDotes · 13/01/2016 12:41

It is very much like being in school, that's right mrsF

darth I agree with PPs who say you're over-invested in this. Don't use phrases like "unbunch your panties", it's silly and childish. As much as you might think it makes you sound smart, it actually just makes you sound ridiculous.

I've been pregnant for most of the last two years and in that time I've never noticed a poster on the pregnancy board with as agressive an attitude as yours.

I find your posts much more off-putting than the "am I pregnant" ones.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 13/01/2016 12:45

Is Mumsnet not part of the online resources? It is, but it's a different sort - I'm referencing articles by respected family planning websites, not the mysterious fortune-telling powers of a bunch of unqualified strangers on the internet.

As much as you might think it makes you sound smart, it actually just makes you sound ridiculous.
Aw, dangit. I'm not smarter than someone who doesn't know how a pregnancy tests works and claims they can feel themselves ovulate? I'd better take a good long look at myself.

I'm sorry I'm off-putting to you. Feel free to skip past my posts, I won't give a shit be offended.

NerrSnerr · 13/01/2016 12:47

But it's more than getting a yes/ no answer isn't it? It's the support you should get from posting on a forum. The 'I had those symptoms and I was pregnant' answers and the general chat. If I posted as a 19 year old student thinking I was pregnant I would want people to say 'it's ok, it sounds like pmt' or to help me prepare myself for a positive test for support before I could get to the shops.

Whatdoidohelp · 13/01/2016 12:47

Yanbu!

"I just came off the pill in November and my cycle is messed up and I'm a week late, I'm definitely pregnant aren't I despite 10 negative tests, I mean my stomach definitely looks pregnant and I'm sure I felt a flutter"

Hmm give me strength

MaisieDotes · 13/01/2016 12:48

Oh, the irony.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 13/01/2016 12:51

19 year old student thinking I was pregnant I would want people to say 'it's ok, it sounds like pmt' or to help me prepare myself for a positive test for support

But no one will know! If they all say "sounds like pmt" and she ends up accidentally birthing a baby on the toilet in 9 months, she'll be devastated! Similarly, if she's confirmed pregnant by doesn't want to be, and wants support on how to deal with that, "Pregnancy Choices" is the correct board.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 13/01/2016 12:52

Darth - some women can feel themselves ovulate. I know I can sometimes and I've been in hospital with it. There's a wonderful tool called Google - look up Mittelschmerz (I think that's how you spell it).

sparechange · 13/01/2016 12:55

darth
I can feel myself ovulate on my right side! It feels like when a really satisfying spot is squeezed. A small and slightly painful 'pop'

I don't have any magical powers to predict if someone is pregnant via them posting a generic list of symptoms on an internet board though

goodnightdarthvader1 · 13/01/2016 12:56

There's a wonderful tool called Google
Ah-HA, Iseehwhatyoudidthere! Clevuuur.

I know, some women can. Could the woman in question? Don't know. Does that mean she's pregnant? After 4 negative pregnancy tests? Wait for it ... don't know!

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 13/01/2016 12:57

I suggested that OP should ask HQ about an 'Am I pregnant' topic at 8.15 this morning, I think it would be a good idea, do it OP.

JessieMcJessie · 13/01/2016 13:00

Darth you said "and the point of us replying to tell them that only a pregnancy test can confirm pregnancy is to welcome them back to reality". This is what invariably happens.

You went on to suggest that the "exercise" was pointless if everyone weighed in and said "yes, me too, you're definitely pregnant", giving them false hope. But that never ever happens.

Therefore first point about bringing them back to reality makes perfect sense and supports the proposition that the best people to give advice about suspected pregnancy are pregnant women.

The second scenario is highly unlikely and so, in my view, is not a good reason to say that people unsure if they are pregnant should not post on the pregnancy boards.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 13/01/2016 13:03

Therefore first point about bringing them back to reality makes perfect sense and supports the proposition that the best people to give advice about suspected pregnancy are pregnant women.

Yes, but then we get a load of guff about how unsupportive we are because we're just telling them to do a test. Or they fuck off, never to be seen again.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 13/01/2016 13:04

darth - if you don't know and don't want to post anything helpful or friendly, could you not just close the thread and move on to another?

Mumsnetters give a lot of advice and support to a lot of people without knowing full stories or having access to all information. I don't see why women who think they might be pregnant/ desperately want to be pregnant should be exempt from such kindness.