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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or is my friend regarding lift to evening class?

45 replies

FaithLoveandHope · 12/01/2016 21:07

Hi All,

My friend and I attend an evening class and before Christmas I gave her a lift. I only live a 20 min walk away from the class but she lives on the other side of town. Before Christmas I drove straight from work because I wouldn't have had time to get to class otherwise. Since we worked in the same place I gave her a lift too and all was fine. However I now have a new job and depending on my shifts I will either need to go straight to the class and therefore not have chance to get across town during rush hour to pick her up or if I am not in work I will walk from home to save on fuel. My friend has kicked off saying she now may not be able to get to class and I'm being unfair. Buses are too much hassle and in any case they don't run late enough for her to get home. AIBU for saying sorry it's not my issue or is she being unreasonable?

OP posts:
MumsKnitter · 12/01/2016 21:09

It's not your issue! She is being entitled.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 12/01/2016 21:09

She's unreasonable and shouldn't depend on you.

Let her strop.

SmallLegsOrSmallEggs · 12/01/2016 21:10

Say if she gets there you will take her home?

PoorFatBoy · 12/01/2016 21:10

She is being unreasonable of course. How she gets there is not your problem. Is she normally so entitled?

Eigg · 12/01/2016 21:12

She is seriously unreasonable.

Ask her to explain why you should have to drive, in rush hour across town to pick her up?

gamerchick · 12/01/2016 21:12

'I'm sorry to hear that, hope you get sorted' I take it she hasn't been giving petrol money either.

driveninsanebythehubby · 12/01/2016 21:14

I am assuming here that she did not sign up to the class under the promise of a list so therefore she is being very unreasonable - you were good enough to give her a lift before because it was convenient.

Tell her there's a taxi charge now of £10 because of the hassle involved and that is only assuming you finish in time. She'll soon find another way to get there if she really wants to do the class!

Would it be out of your way to give her a lift home/are you happy to give her a lift home? As others have suggested, maybe offering that would appease her. But you should not have to! I can't get over her cheek to be honest to basically have a go because you've stopped doing her a favour? Would she have carried on picking you up if the roles were reversed do you think?

WhereYouLeftIt · 12/01/2016 21:17

YANBU. If she applied to take a class she couldn't get to without your help - and never even asked for your help/confirmed with you a lift arrangement, just took your help for granted - she's an idiot. An entitled, self-absorbed idiot. And not much of a friend.

DoreenLethal · 12/01/2016 21:18

Oh dear. Poor thing.

You are not being unfair by not running around after her.

WhereYouLeftIt · 12/01/2016 21:20

"Buses are too much hassle and in any case they don't run late enough for her to get home."
Did she actually say that? Did you laugh in her face?

KatharinaRosalie · 12/01/2016 21:20

so what exactly does she expect you to do? Even if you wanted, you wouldn't have time to pick you up (not to mention that you're not a taxi in the first place)

Original poster
FaithLoveandHope · 12/01/2016 21:22

Thanks all. It's rather out of my way to drop her off but I would as long as I had driven there myself. It feels like she's expecting me to drive even if I don't need to. Tbh it's a lovely walk there and if I'm not in work I would much rather walk as long as it's not really bad weather. And no she's not given me money for fuel. Since my new job is much less money I literally cannot afford the extra cost any more :(

OP posts:
LovelyFriend · 12/01/2016 21:22

How does she get to the rest of her life? Hmm

TendonQueen · 12/01/2016 21:22

So an evening class finishes so late that no buses are running? Bullshit. She's a grown up, this is her issue to sort out.

Original poster
FaithLoveandHope · 12/01/2016 21:23

whereyouleftit yes she actually said that to me before. My car was in the garage at the time. It was a right faff for me too due to finishing work late and barely making class on time, so it's not like she was the only one put out by the situation!

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 12/01/2016 21:23

Shes a scrounging cow.

Original poster
FaithLoveandHope · 12/01/2016 21:24

Tendon it finishes at 9 and the last bus back from there is 8:30. It is an issue as there's no way she can walk that far but still I'm feeling a little aggrieved by it all.

OP posts:
Antisoc · 12/01/2016 21:26

YABU ..... to ask Grin

i think you already know she was the one being unreasonable.

TendonQueen · 12/01/2016 21:28

Ok, then surely someone else in the class lives at least vaguely in her direction or on her side of town? She needs to ask the rest of them if anyone could give her a lift - in return for petrol money of course Smile. Suggest that to her.

stqueen · 12/01/2016 21:30

She is being utterly unreasonable and actually very selfish. I assume she doesn't drive herself, therefore has little or no understanding of the time, effort & cost it takes to drive across town during rush hour otherwise unnecessarily to pick her up?

Did she enrol on the class on the understanding/agreement you would be dropping her there and back each week? If not she is incredibly entitled and you wouldn't be unreasonable in telling her where to go!

WhereYouLeftIt · 12/01/2016 21:33

I'm pretty sure taxis run after 8.30pm. I'd maybe point her in their direction Grin.

LovelyFriend · 12/01/2016 21:35

If the last bus is 8.30 and the class finishes at 9, perhaps she wouldn't have signed up for the class without being able to get a lift home from you?

Was it never discussed between you?
How would she get home if you weren't at the class too? Or wouldn't she go to the class?

She should certainly chip in for petrol money though.

carbsfoundme · 12/01/2016 21:41

What's your evening class? If it's a foreign language, learn how to say 'Are you having a laff you sponging parasite?' then leave her to it.

StayWithMe · 12/01/2016 21:41

Tell her to get a bike. Tell her she's actually very lucky as she can attend class and get fit too. Grin

ratspeaker · 12/01/2016 21:42

Could she walk part of the way back with you then catch another bus from there?

It's not your responsibility for another grown woman to get herself to and from an evening class.

Tbh if she falls out with you as you wont drive across town, in the rush hour ,to give her a free lift I'd question the "friendship"

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