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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or is my friend regarding lift to evening class?

45 replies

FaithLoveandHope · 12/01/2016 21:07

Hi All,

My friend and I attend an evening class and before Christmas I gave her a lift. I only live a 20 min walk away from the class but she lives on the other side of town. Before Christmas I drove straight from work because I wouldn't have had time to get to class otherwise. Since we worked in the same place I gave her a lift too and all was fine. However I now have a new job and depending on my shifts I will either need to go straight to the class and therefore not have chance to get across town during rush hour to pick her up or if I am not in work I will walk from home to save on fuel. My friend has kicked off saying she now may not be able to get to class and I'm being unfair. Buses are too much hassle and in any case they don't run late enough for her to get home. AIBU for saying sorry it's not my issue or is she being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Paddletonio · 12/01/2016 21:49

Taxi or cycle? Either way tbh not your problem

CFSsucks · 12/01/2016 21:49

Liftzilla is back! Grin

YANBU, tough shit, she should learn to drive then. I hate it when non drivers think anyone who drives owes them a lift to places they struggle to get to. Give her the number of a taxi firm. Why would you drive when you can easily walk.

Taytocrisps · 12/01/2016 21:52

"My friend has kicked off saying she now may not be able to get to class and I'm being unfair. Buses are too much hassle and in any case they don't run late enough for her to get home."

YANBU. If she doesn't drive, she should have considered all of this before she signed up to do the course. She should be very grateful for all the lifts you did give her.

IguanaTail · 12/01/2016 21:53

She's being ridiculous. What is she, 13?

Original poster
FaithLoveandHope · 12/01/2016 21:54

Unfortunately she can't get a bike or realistically walk far enough to catch a different bus due to her having a disability. The whole reason she ended up on the class was because it came up in conversation I was doing it and she wanted to join in too. I can't remember if there was a discussion about how to get there as it was a few months ago now. I think I offered to drive the first day as I was driving anyway and it sort of became an unspoken agreement I would drive.

She tried getting a lift before off somebody else but when nobody else offered she passed comment on how it was "very unchristian" and people should be willing to help - majority of the people on the course are christian, though not sure how that translates as "willing to be walked all over".

Antisoc I think you're right, IABU for asking. She made me question myself though tbh...

OP posts:
mommy2ash · 12/01/2016 21:54

How did she think she was going to get there and back when she signed up for the class?

Original poster
FaithLoveandHope · 12/01/2016 21:55

oh sorry for fragmented replies off me. I meant to say she can drive (has a license and a car) but she's left her car at home as she's a university student. Though when I was in university I had my car with me, it would've been most unhelpful leaving it at my parents so not entirely sure why she leaves it there too.

OP posts:
IguanaTail · 12/01/2016 21:56

You're investing too much time in this woman. Repeat after me

Not

My

Problem

You might have 99 problems, but her transport arrangements (to a class she herself signed up for) are not one.

IamLiftZilla · 12/01/2016 22:00

Hello?

StayWithMe · 12/01/2016 22:16

She left it at home because she doesn't want to spend HER money on petrol, when she can get others to run her around.

Isn't able to ride a bike, fair enough. My husband's mobilty scooter can travel 8 miles on a full charge. Wink

Original poster
FaithLoveandHope · 01/02/2016 11:11

Sorry to drag up my old thread. I've just had a message off my friend saying she wants to sort her life out and needs to know if I'm planning on walking back every week and it's fine if I am (how kind Hmm ) but she'd like to plan in advance as it wreaks havoc on her anxiety leaving it last minute. She's been rude and entitled again isn't she?

OP posts:
frenchfancy · 01/02/2016 11:14

Just say yes you are planning on walking back every week. That isn't a lie - you would prefer to walk so that is you plan even if you don't every week.

RidersOnTheStorm · 01/02/2016 11:24

Just say yes you are.

AyeAmarok · 01/02/2016 11:31

"Yes, I'm going to walk as I enjoy the walk and I can't afford the petrol anyway".

She's a total user, and needs to start taking responsibility for herself.

ivykaty44 · 01/02/2016 11:44

This is not a "friend"

Original poster
FaithLoveandHope · 01/02/2016 11:46

Thanks all, I told her it's out of my way to drive so I'd rather walk.

OP posts:
Damselindestress · 01/02/2016 11:50

You are not being unfair! You were doing her a favour but you are not able to any more since your schedule has changed. She is not entitled to a lift. She is an adult and her transport arrangements are not your responsibility. I would consider whether she is really a friend or just using you since she kicks off when she doesn't get what she wants. What does she contribute to the friendship?

DancingWithWillard · 01/02/2016 12:15

"Hi X, not sure if I will walk every week or not yet, will depend on weather etc. so best just to make your own transport arrangements to and from the class" . Cheeky caaah that she is, this would really annoy me!

Veritat · 01/02/2016 12:21

Well, how mean and unfair of you not to put your new job at risk by leaving your shift early to ensure you can drive across time in the rush hour to give her a lift.

MitzyLeFrouf · 01/02/2016 12:39

Laugh in her face.

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