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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at being woken at 630am by dps ex ringing (non urgent)

65 replies

Mrskeats · 12/01/2016 18:57

I'm tired and grumpy so may be being unreasonable.
We were both jerked awake at 630am this morning by dps ex ringing to discuss an non urgent problem with their daughter.
We both thought there was something really wrong and then couldn't get back to sleep. She has form for this having once rung at 530am
Dp has big work day and client dinner so now worried he's driving when tired and weather is shocking
Aibu?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrskeats · 12/01/2016 18:57

Oh and dp is on ads for anxiety and this really sets it off

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 12/01/2016 19:00

It is early to ring but he's worried about driving having been up at 6.30? That's normal up time for most people monday - Friday I would think.

2 separate issues. It is rude to ring at that time. You are massively overreacting if you think a 6.30 wake up renders you incapable for the rest of the day.

Original poster
Mrskeats · 12/01/2016 19:04

No true I know lots of people get up that early but prob am more concerned about her causing him extra anxiety.
She rang us on holiday at 530am also over a non urgent thing (we were in this country so not a time difference thing)
She texts constantly also

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 12/01/2016 19:05

I agree that it's too early to ring but I think being worried to drive is an overreaction.

MisForMumNotMaid · 12/01/2016 19:07

Have a seperate phone number for her and use the off/ mute button.

BrandNewAndImproved · 12/01/2016 19:07

I think your overreacting tbh. I get up around 6/6:30 and there are loads of commuters already on the bus stop ect. It's not thr middle of the night or a lazy Sunday morning.

I would of made the most of being awake and took my dps anxiety away by having a morning bonk.

Original poster
Mrskeats · 12/01/2016 19:07

I think I'm more worried re flooded roads

OP posts:
Helmetbymidnight · 12/01/2016 19:09

What time do you usually get up then? (you lucky sods!!)

That would be annoying. He needs to say - please don't ring before 7.30 except in an emergency. Most people get that.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 12/01/2016 19:13

Either phone on silent, most will still sound wake up alarms or set her ringtone to silent, or some will allow a timed block mode for all notifications/calls/texts except for a specific group, so in my case, the children, dh and my mother in case of emergencies.

Gildo · 12/01/2016 19:14

Fuck that.
If my dps ex was calling at that time I would get him to say something to her.
My Dp works til 2am some mornings Pottering so yeah being woken up at 6.30 after about 3 hours sleep would be an issue. Not everybody is home from work at 6/7pm.

M48294Y · 12/01/2016 19:15

Yanbu. 6.30am is NOT a good time to ring re. a non-urgent matter.

Original poster
Mrskeats · 12/01/2016 19:15

That's what we usually do :))
I just can't imagine ringing someone so early cos it will give them that oh god what's wrong feeling
Need some boundaries put in place I think

OP posts:
HermioneJeanGranger · 12/01/2016 19:16

Put the phone on silent. DP has a separate phone for his ex because she had form for this behaviour. She's stopped now he doesn't pander to her histrionics/demands!

RealHuman · 12/01/2016 19:17

If you know you're going to be up at 6.30 during the week you set a sleep schedule that fits that. You go to bed at 10.30, you get up at 6.30, you're tired again by 10pm. If you're normally in a schedule where you sleep from 12 to 8, of bloody course you're going to be tired if you're woken at 6.30am.

Original poster
Mrskeats · 12/01/2016 19:23

I work into evening so start at 10 finish 730
Self employed
Phone be on silent tonight :))

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrskeats · 12/01/2016 19:24

Thanks realhuman

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrskeats · 12/01/2016 19:36

A separate phone is a good idea too

OP posts:
TheLesserSpottedBee · 12/01/2016 19:40

My phone (Motorolla) allows me to set certain people to priority meaning my phone is on silent at night but my sisters, in laws and close friends who may need in an emergency can still call me. I choose who is a priority.

Or separate phone to deal with the ex.

Fairiesarereal · 12/01/2016 19:42

No, yanbu. What a cheek!!
Did your DP tell her, when she rang at 5.30 before, not to do it again?
I guess she is doing it on purpose??

Borninthe60s · 12/01/2016 19:42

Why was the phone on if he didn't Want to be disturbed?

Merguez · 12/01/2016 19:46

6.30 is a bit early for a phone call, but surely most people are getting up around that time?

My alarm is set for 6.40 !

passivesonata · 12/01/2016 19:47

I'd get a separate phone for her if you can't do a selective mute.
If your DP has anxiety then it's not surprising he felt anxious about driving, it's easy for the anxiety to fix on something unexpected like that so I don't think that he was being unreasonable.

Snowglobe1 · 12/01/2016 19:48

Yes, that's a ridiculous time to ring outside an emergency. Doesn't matter if you're up or not...it's just intrusive. Who wants a chat at 6.30? I understand you have to answer in case it IS an emergency. Has he chatted with her about boundaries? How long have they been apart and why do you think she calls so frequently?

Fairiesarereal · 12/01/2016 19:52

Why was the phone on if he didn't Want to be disturbed?

People leave their phones on in case of an emergency, it doesn't mean you want someone to phone at 6:30 for a casual chat!

CottonSock · 12/01/2016 19:52

No way anyone would expect a polite response from me at that time if day. Even if I was up (I'm not), I have myself and a toddler to get ready for the day and to work / Nursery and its just not on.